A child with a lot of personality

[Wanttogetoffthehamsterwheel]

Dd, 5, report stated this…any teachers here (or anyone else) that can read through this teacher speak 😂
Is this a positive or negative thing?

Oh and my mum said it’s a positive thing, but I guess that she probably would 😂

Sounds like a line from young sheldon 😂😂

Like with all personality types, it's positive and negative. You just need to encourage the positive aspects, confidence, assertiveness, sociability, while giving some guidance on reigning in the less desirable manifestations. So, while it's great to speak up, being aware there are times to be quiet. While your opinions are valid, give quieter people chance to share theirs etc.

My daughter 4 is very confident a natural born leader, spirited and more of a doer than a thinker - her nursery staff put it politely don't like her as much as others because they most likely are not trained to deal with children who are intellectually and physically ahead of their years.

Oh absolutely. Those nursery staff just aren’t up to your 4 year old’s academic level, bless them. Hope she has more able tutoring when she starts at Oxford next year.

OP, I’m afraid I used this a couple of times as a euphemism for a child that always tried to be the centre of attention to the detriment of the rest of the group. But clearly other teachers used it as a compliment. Not much help to you, sorry!

"quite extra" means she's a pain in the ass. That's (borderline) cute at 5, obnoxious not long after that!

Annoying!

Good leaders are rarely 'natural born'. Good leadership is a combination of personality and skill set and typically requires one to be more of a thinker than a doer, in order to listen, to plan and delegate rather than rush off on a solo spree. The nursery staff may be inadequate, but equally they may know these things, and be trying to steer a confident child to manage some of their less helpful traits and develop their full well rounded potential.

I wouldn't look for hidden messages. Children at 5 are understandably very self-oriented and have limited competence when it comes to social cues and interactions. How annoying they are generally comes down to confidence... the shyer ones are less annoying since they're less in your face.

There are lots of people inferring some pretty nasty things about a 5yo. But all the skills they're suggesting your DC might not have - empathy, waiting her turn, not butting in, sharing spaces nicely with others - are things she will already be learning and improving at, and which she will hopefully perfect over the next few years. Though as evidenced by this thread there are some pretty sneery and unpleasant adults so she won't be alone in life if she reaches adulthood without mastering all the social graces 😂! At least if she has a kind heart and a friendly outlook, she'll be ahead of many.

I say dgs has a big personality as he's very engaging, quirky, inquistive, full of opinions. He is a delight particularly if you have plenty of time to concentrate on him alone. In nursery everyone knows him, he's always got something to tell you or ask you and interested in everything. As one of thirty I suspect he might be a challenge for his teachers as he's quite full on. Hopefully it will tone down as he gets a bit older.

One person may have said that. It isn't representative of teachers in general.

DS had a few comments in his year 1 report which made me think his teacher likes him, but he is possibly a bit too full of questions (“I will miss his interesting facts…he is always keen to link his learning to prior knowledge outside the classroom”).

I was similar at that age - very enthusiastic and keen to ask questions, which some teachers liked and some teachers clearly didn’t, and just wanted me to shut up.

Your DD’s report sounds like it is a compliment in reception, but might not be in future years. That is fine though, in future years she will be a bit older and hopefully more able to recognise when to sit quietly and when to pipe up.

In Reception quiet children can be more difficult as assessing them for the EYFSP depends a lot on them talking. So you spend more time encouraging them to talk. Not annoying but it can be more challenging. I would be more concerned about the child who never says anything - do they understand what's going on? Are they happy? Are they too shy to make friends? Are there problems at home?

Oh absolutely. Those nursery staff just aren’t up to your 4 year old’s academic level, bless them. Hope she has more able tutoring when she starts at Oxford next year.

I was told by teacher in primary school DS1 had a non conforming personality. She paused obviously expecting a reply, so I told her I was glad because people who are easily led are idiots in my book. She was left speechless.

Yes, this. I think it's a mistake to see only the positive or a negative in a one-line description.

11-year-old me was once described by a teacher as "not afraid to express her opinion, is she!" - obviously that was a positive trait that's served me well in life, and that teacher ultimately did a great job of nurturing it, but in retrospect it's possible that teaching a know-it-all who wasn't afraid to correct her teachers might have been hard work at times. And that's a negative trait I've (sort of) learned to keep under wraps more.

To me "big personality" is a child who can be a lot of fun, very entertaining, not afraid to be assertive - all great things. But also a child who can be exhausting at times with their sheer boundless energy, maybe imposes themselves on quieter children, maybe doesn't like it when not the centre of attention. Those aren't really negatives at 5yo, they're just things that hopefully the child learns to keep in check, with the help of parents/teachers.

I'd say she was! You child doesn't do what he is told (said nicely) .... Ohhh I am glad because those who do are idiots.

I'd be gobsmacked too.

Personally I would much rather have s child with a lot of personality than one with none

There is not a child on this planet that does not have a personality. They all do, every single one of them. Some are loud and brash, some are quiet and contemplative, some are the loudest voices in the room and some are the quietest. Some put their hand up and some sit on their hands. Some offer their opinions, others keep their opinions to themselves...doesn't mean they don't have one.
Part of what makes each of us unique is our personalities – the traits, qualities and temperaments that make us who we are, and affect how we see and interact with the world. Everyone is born with an innate personality and your kids are no exception. It is such a dismissive thing to say a child does not have a personality because they are not the loudest in the room.

Didn’t a teacher on here say the loud ones were better than the dull ones, or words to that effect. Perhaps they weren’t a teacher.

No, that wasn't a teacher. But don't let the facts get in the way of another dig against teachers eh?

From what I've gathered on this thread, teachers have said:

The comment could well be a compliment.
Children are all individuals and have personalities.
Quiet children and children with 'a lot of personality' can all be interesting and fun to teach.
Children aren't dull just because they're quiet.
Children with big personalities can be really fun to teach.
Sometimes 'lots of personality' could mean the child speaks out of turn a lot and needs to learn not to try to dominate the class or the teacher's attention.

Does any of that strike you as unreasonable? Or untrue?

Well said.

I’d say your child is an individual and not one of the class sheep 😊 that’s good thing in my eyes.

Class sheep?

So many comments on here about quieter children. It's disgusting. They have no personalities, are boring, are class sheep. These are children you are talking about, I'm shocked that adults feel it's OK to speak about them like that.

If I’d written that, I’d mean it as a positive.

Definitely ask for clarity. Whether intended positive or negative it's not helpful is it!