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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who should get the car?

92 replies

Vintefl · 19/07/2023 18:59

Grandparent is upgrading their car after 10 years and wants one of the grandchildren to have the old one to help them out. There's two grandchildren who are interested/ currently in need

Grandchild A
Age 30. Still lives at home with parents. Single.Currently drives grandparents old car from 17 years ago which has been a great car but on last legs.
Earns 30k and no financial responsibilities aside from token amount of rent to parents and gym membership, mobile phone etc
Doesn't have to grocery shop or do Washing as parent (and aforementioned Grandparent) do a lot of this for them
No savings currently

Grandchild B
Age 35. Owns a 4-bed mortgaged house and is married with new baby.
Household income of 75k which is currently reduced due to mat leave.
The family have one new 2022 reg car on finance but due to having new baby and work arrangements, they will likely need two cars very soon. They'd prefer not to do this on finance again as they are facing rising mortgage costs in coming months as well as nursery fees and other cost of living rises that are having an impact on household budget.
They do have some saving set aside but had planned to use these to overpay on mortgage to ensure their monthly payments won't be double when fixed deal ends in a few months

Who should get the car?

Yabu - A
yanbu - b

OP posts:
Original poster
Vintefl · 19/07/2023 19:39

UnsolicitedOpinions · 19/07/2023 19:34

Whichever of A&B wants the car the most should BUY it from the grandparents.

Do an auction between you, or sealed bids. Whoever bids the most can buy it from them.

It can’t be worth that much at 10 years old anyway.

I agree but only B has money saved to do this. A would need to do an IOU

OP posts:
Gerrataere · 19/07/2023 19:39

UnsolicitedOpinions · 19/07/2023 19:34

Whichever of A&B wants the car the most should BUY it from the grandparents.

Do an auction between you, or sealed bids. Whoever bids the most can buy it from them.

It can’t be worth that much at 10 years old anyway.

It would fully depend on make and mileage but I would put a good bet on that it would still be a few grand. But it’s irrelevant as neither a nor b deserve the car not half the monetary value. They both sound rather insufferable in their own way. I wonder @Vintefl are there any other grandchildren who may not want the car but could use the money more if the grandparents won’t keep the money? Or perhaps put some of the money away for the great grandchildren? Or maybe a local cat charity…

Clymene · 19/07/2023 19:42

Honestly as two adults in your 30s, you should both be ashamed of yourselves, bickering over who deserves a grandparent's gift more.

One of you looks more grown up on paper but really the pair of you are behaving like toddlers.

Hummingbird89 · 19/07/2023 19:42

Neither.
Granny should sell the car and treat herself with the cash from the sale.
How embarrassing that two fully grown adults are squabbling over an elderly relatives car.

Hummingbird89 · 19/07/2023 19:42

Clymene · 19/07/2023 19:42

Honestly as two adults in your 30s, you should both be ashamed of yourselves, bickering over who deserves a grandparent's gift more.

One of you looks more grown up on paper but really the pair of you are behaving like toddlers.

👏

hellywelly3 · 19/07/2023 19:43

Neither! They should sell it and buy themselves something nice.
Or you could buy it off them for a trade in price so they don’t loose out.

Sigmama · 19/07/2023 19:43

Both sound entitled

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/07/2023 19:43

Hummingbird89 · 19/07/2023 19:42

Neither.
Granny should sell the car and treat herself with the cash from the sale.
How embarrassing that two fully grown adults are squabbling over an elderly relatives car.

This. It's shameful, it really is.

Hummingbird89 · 19/07/2023 19:44

I actually think B comes off worse than the two. Trying to take the moral high ground when acting like a vulture. The shame of it.

SgtCawood · 19/07/2023 19:45

Could A and B have a fight for it? Or grandparents hide it in the biggest multi-storey carpark available, and first to find it wins.

Grandparents sell car and A & B buy bikes.

TimesRwo · 19/07/2023 19:45

Both A and B need to act their age and stop being so entitled.

mrsm43s · 19/07/2023 19:46

Both A & B should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves for thinking that they, fully grown adults, should be entitled to a free or reduced price car from their elderly grandparents. They are both in a position to fully fund their own cars and not scrounge off of others. Shame on them for putting their grandparents into such an awkward situation.

Augend23 · 19/07/2023 19:46

What if B bought it for half price and if Granny wants to she gives the money to A?

Saves B money and gives A enough to put a deposit down on another car?

(My grandparents have enough money that they definitely don't need to keep the money to treat themselves, but if that's not the case the above option probably isn't appropriate and buying for a decent price would seem sensible.)

Pancake678 · 19/07/2023 19:46

If I read correctly that A got the first "old" car from grandparents then technically B this time.

Brumbies · 19/07/2023 19:47

Surely grandparents decide ?

TheModHatter · 19/07/2023 19:48

Both these fully grown adults (and spouse) should grow some self respect, stop squabbling and tell the grandparent that they must use the car for part exchange and save themselves the money.

TheModHatter · 19/07/2023 19:50

Why did B have to get a brand new car as family car? Ridiculous way to spend money with a baby on the way.

livingthedreamm · 19/07/2023 19:50

Neither should get the car. I cannot believe a 30 and a 35 year old think they're entitled and squabbling over who is more in need! I really hope the grandparents sell the car and do something fun with the money.

Spoilt and entitled IMO.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 19/07/2023 19:51

Neither sound that deserving. A just about edges ahead.

Quveas · 19/07/2023 19:53

Vintefl · 19/07/2023 19:13

A and B live a few hours apart unfortunately.

I think sell it is going to be best way to avoid family conflict to be honest.

A feels that B is financially better off and can sort themselves out and doesn't need this handout.

B thinks that A has no financial responsibilities and is getting their arse wiped still by family with meals cooked washing done etc so should fund their own new car and take responsibility for a change

Show quote history

And I think that two adults on very good wages should learn to stand on their own two feet and not expect handouts from any of their family. The grandparents should still the car and use the money to fund something on their bucket list. If they don't have a bucket list, they should write one. And B may be right about A, but they are residing in a glass house....

NotBotheredAnymore · 19/07/2023 19:56

Neither. Car gets sold.
Up to owner if grandchild buys it, but to prevent arguments its sold for full market rate

TiaraBoo · 19/07/2023 19:56

Is it a small car? I’d like to buy it.

And I’m voting B as at least B offered to buy it and also A had a handout last time.

MzHz · 19/07/2023 19:58

GP should part ex the car and use the money to help upgrade their next car

WorkCleanRepeat · 19/07/2023 19:59

Neither to avoid family conflict because they can both afford a car!

SnarfleThree · 19/07/2023 19:59

Neither, grandparent should sell the car and drink themselves in a stupor with the proceeds to forget what needy adult grandchildren they have.

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