Why can I see porn?

[wholikesorangesoda]

Hi, name changed and all that.

I have been up all night on and off with my two young DS.

In the moments I have to myself I have been scrolling through Facebook videos.

I keep having videos 'pop' up of Asian, female escorts? Some are very explicit. It is regular. Is my Husbands phone info somehow sharing in my phone?

It seems bizarre to me that I am all of a sudden being bombarded with these videos?
I would never search anything like that for myself.
I want to say something but seems silly?

For what it's worth I am a stay at home Mum, Husband works from home, our phones will be together all of the time!

My husband never goes on my phone and vice versa.

Hep please. My AIBU - should I say something? Sorry about the ramble x

Picture added (one of the nicer ones) x

[Message from MNHQ: sorry OP but we've removed the image as we don't feel it's appropriate to share it here]

Often someone using the same IP address as you has been searching for those sites.

Thank you for your reply. I am so rubbish with technology, same IP address? Would that be my husband?

Anyone connected to your router.

That's often how advertising is targeted at members of a household although fb say that their ads are based on your own searches.

There could be another, innocent explanation maybe, hope someone comes along to help

Thank you. I am still at a loss.
Should I mention this to my husband or will I sound crazy?

I'm not techy but I know since my son decided to support a particular football team and Google facts and videos etc on his phone, my Facebook keeps giving me ads for their kit.
I have 3 kids and gets recommendations for all manner of things related to them that I haven't searched myself. I also get ads for cycling kit based on husband's searches. So definitely there is a link somewhere and so i suspect someone in your household has been looking for this stuff.

Perhaps suggest husband uses privacy browsing?

I don't know the technological ins and outs of it but two occasions that spring to mind for me, are when I was looking for garden furniture my husband had numerous adverts for garden furniture pop up on his feed. Another time when searching for England rugby for Christmas gifts, he asked me jokingly if I was buying him or one of my sons a rugby top as they'd appeared on his feed. Could be completely coincidence though.

Not necessarily your husband. For one thing, some internet suppliers don't give customers a fixed IP address.

In very simple terms your IP address is the code that is assigned to your connection, so when you request a page from the internet it knows where to send it back to.

The thing is, unless you specifically seek a provider which provides you with a static IP address (one that doesn't change) you may be given a dynamic IP address. A dynamic address may change every time you connect. It's used by any number of customers - only one at a time, but each time you connect you are given a new one which has been used by lots of other people in the past and will be used by more people in the future.

Internet providers use this dynamic system because it means they don't need to have a connection live for every customer all the time.

Advertisers record the IP address of who views their adverts and then bombard that address with similar adverts. This works if a user has a fixed IP, but if you have a shared IP you will end up getting adverts targeted at people who have used the IP in the past.

Think of it as comparable to using a public payphone box. Many people will have used the line in the past. If you then use it yourself to make a call - you dial someone else - it works fine. If you give a friend the payphone number and ask them to call you back on it, you can hang around the box and wait for them to call you but when it rings you have no idea before you answer it whether the call will be your friend returning your call or some random stranger who happens to have the number.

Thank you so much for your replies.
Based on this I will have a chat with DH. There is no one else in our household (DS are too young to search the internet) and we rarely have visitors.

I hope there is an innocent explanation for these videos, the thought of DH searching for escorts whilst I am knee deep in nappies doesn't make me feel great, quite the opposite in-fact.

Thank you @Dotjones that helps a lot x

@Dotjones thank you for this explanation!

@wholikesorangesoda I think it depends how you feel about stuff like this. If you don't mind your husband doing this then ask him to do it privately but if this is a boundary for you then that's different and you need to have that convo. Or watch and wait for more evidence.

Are they popping up in your feed, or are they in any groups' chat that you might belong to?

If the latter, then it's a fairly common thing for scammers/porn purveyors to join and spam groups - they can only be blocked/removed by admins of that group.

My email address was stolen as part of a data breech from a website I used to visit. Nothing to do with porn; since it happened I get daily emails for all sorts of things, often in Dutch/German/French. I'm clearly on a suckers list. I think,sadly, it's one of the issues with tech.

The videos are not a part of a group chat but come up on my news feed along with regular (mainly Mummy) videos I watch. The videos of escorts are very out of place of my usual viewing habits.

I would not feel comfortable with DH watching videos of escorts, I wouldn't stand for him seeing escorts in real life.

@thehairdebate That's it! I don't want to be bombarded with naked/sexualised images whilst I relax with my phone.
I am still going to speak with DH after he finishes work. I think he reaction will tell me what I need to know.

Your sons probably know how to use a vpn so I bet it’s the dh 😂

Devices link. So say you are logged in on something random like Sainsburys on your phone and then the same login is used on your husbands phone it will associate the two devices together. Same with adverts on connected TV (like all 4) if you're logged in on your phone to All 4 and then the TV it connects the two devices to bring you targeted adverts.

Facebook keeps recommending "reels" (short videos) to me of highly questionable content - I have no idea where they get the idea I want to see that shit. This is what happens when we let the USA run everything.

Could it be that your security settings for over 18 adult content are only active after say 11pm so you have just never noticed them before. I

Haha my sons are aged 2 and 4 so no chance of it being them!
Yes to the poster who mentioned the FB reels, that's where the videos for escorts were showing.

I didn't think about my security settings but that could make sense!

Thanks again to all PP. I will talk to DH in a non accusatory way and come back with an update. Wish me luck x

I had a chat with DH about the escort videos/porn that has been randomly filling my FB feed. He seemed genuinely shocked!
He was open and honest and explained that while he has at times searched for porn it was in no way relatable to the videos I am currently getting on my FB reels.

I have never had reason not to trust him in the past so I will take his word.

So random and hopefully the less I interact with these videos the more likely they are to go away! Not a good look for FB though I must say.

Thank you for everyone's advice x

My fb page went through a phase of doing this, I would watch the video reels of funny stuff, animals etc and all of a sudden an Indian porn video would pop up. It happened a few times and I had never search anything porny. I logged out of all devices changed my password and logged back in and it never happened again 🤷🏻‍♀️ that was about three years ago and it's never since.

I had an explicit video pop up on my TIkTok once. I never watch or search anything like that, so no idea how it happened, but I reported it and it’s not happened again.

Mine did this about 2 weeks ago for a week - 'Dr and nurses', very clear oral sex, a lot live feeds which I don't watch and African church services etc. Only me and dh at home, he is 70 and not on Facebook. Very strange and worrying. Stopped as suddenly as it started.