AIBU to be annoyed by DP reaction?

[Patrolpatrol]

Name change, but basically there was one of those ‘nonce stings’ near our house. I told DP I thought they had done a great job and DP exploded. Started shouting and effing and blinding about how it shouldn’t be allowed.

Basically, AIBU to be a little miffed?

What's a nonce sting?

Would you be happy if someone did a “nonce sting” on your dp cos he had the same name as a paedophile or some other minor detail?

lovely phrase btw 👏

^^
This

The police hate these because they really can affect their investigations.

I don't think vigilantes have any place in society.

YABU for thinking 'nonce stings' (horrible phrase) are good things.

And it's painfully obvious that he's BU for shouting and effing and blinding.

Pretty strange all round.

I agree with him - the police have also advised against it. These people aren't professionals, they may not always be right. Better to report concerns to the police and let them handle it.
I do actually know of one of these gone wrong. Was told after the event, but friend's ex-DP was accused. He was on dating websites, cheating, but none of the people he contacted were underage. Friend and her kids were broadcast live during the "sting" as came out to see what was happening. She had to move house and sounded like she had a breakdown from how she described the aftermath. Wouldn't have happened if the police had been the ones to deal with it.

Of course it shouldn't be allowed. We have a justice system, innocent until proved guilty. Not innocent until some random person off the street decides they personally have evidence that doesn't need testing before a judge or jury - which could be nothing beyond fourth hand gossip on social media.

How would you like it if these people came for you because of something garbled they had read fourth hand on social media

There was a woman literally driven out of her home close to where we live. Her landlord had the same name as a convicted paedophile, she ended up having her windows put through by idiots (ironically while her chicken were sleeping in the house).

‘Nonce stings’ tend to be carried out by vigilantes who haven’t a clue who they’re actually harassing, and don’t realise how quickly a case of mistaken identity could have them on the receiving end of the same kind of ‘justice’.

I also agree with your husband!

It should be possible to discuss the rights and wrongs of this type of vigilante justice without him exploding and swearing. Is this usual behaviour for him? I'd end up feeling quite suspicious if it's out of character.

Hopefully you aren't going to drip feed that he's a serving police officer.

I’m shocked. I didn’t realise so many were against it.

Not against specially trained officers carrying out an investigation

I reckon a lot of these nonce stings are gung-ho wannabee coppers who were too thick to get in.

I’m not against them gathering evidence but I’m against them dealing with it and not just forwarding it to the police for them to deal with.

your partners reaction is a bit extreme though. Even if he disagreed it is a bit OTT to sweat and shout. What reasons did he give?

You're right Op, who could possibly object to a bunch of vigilantes picking on someone they've jumped to conclusions about after reading a handful of social media posts, and if the person they've picked on does happen to be a paedophile, jeopardising the possible outcome of a legal trial?

This, and the social media videos only ever seem to 'sting' someone who is clearly vulnerable with learning and support needs.

He didnr need to explode, but I feel like you've missed out a bit of the story.

Please dont use that word, its incredibly offensive.

only really stupid people think they are a good idea

Agreed.

There’s 2 main problems with these

they have got it wrong and DESTROYED peoples live

a lot are done wrong problems with entrapment and make it difficult building a case and successfully prosecuting them

They’re not a good idea - as a pp said they can ruin police investigations, and can also lead to reduction in sentencing even if they do get convicted of a crime.

Your dh shouldn’t be effing and blinding though, so to that extra yanbu. Why can’t he discuss it rationally?

YABU - these groups are run by poorly educated vigilantes who just want any excuse to be violent.

Famously, in the 00’s, one such group targeted a home and daubed “paedo” in paint across it. The homeowner was a paediatrician.

Sorry @WildUnchartedWaters don’t mean to offend anyone

I second this.

I can't believe anyone still uses it in 2023.