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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed by DP reaction?

110 replies

Patrolpatrol · 16/07/2023 22:25

Name change, but basically there was one of those ‘nonce stings’ near our house. I told DP I thought they had done a great job and DP exploded. Started shouting and effing and blinding about how it shouldn’t be allowed.

Basically, AIBU to be a little miffed?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
WeetabixTowels · 17/07/2023 00:40

Patrolpatrol · 16/07/2023 22:53

I’m shocked. I didn’t realise so many were against it.

Out of curiosity why do you think they do a great job?

WeetabixTowels · 17/07/2023 00:41

Weal · 16/07/2023 23:00

I’m not against them gathering evidence but I’m against them dealing with it and not just forwarding it to the police for them to deal with.

your partners reaction is a bit extreme though. Even if he disagreed it is a bit OTT to sweat and shout. What reasons did he give?

That’s the thing - they don’t care about evidence they want the social media glory. They don’t care about children

Annaishere · 17/07/2023 00:42

WeetabixTowels · 17/07/2023 00:39

WTAF.

Its 2023 @Annaishere did you actually think it’s ok to use that word?!

Show quote history

I just didn’t think but I didn’t mean it in a derogatory way

Mamanyt · 17/07/2023 00:48

Want an example of vigilante justice gone horribly wrong, then take a look at my country and what happened on January 6, 2021. A group of people, a very LARGE group of people, decided without evidence, and on the say-so of one person (and his minions), that an election was stolen, and decided that it was up to them, and not the legal system, to stop it AND punish those involved. And that is a stain on our entire country forever. While most of us were appalled, we are still painted with their vigilante justice brush in the eyes of the rest of the world. Now, granted, that's an extreme, but...no. People deciding on sketchy information that they should act, rather than give their information to police, are never in the right. Never.

sandyhappypeople · 17/07/2023 00:54

I'm not against the idea behind the paedophile hunters, if anyone watched the documentary on it, they have a lot more freedom then the police when it comes to catching them at it, they're actually very good at what they do, BUT, I don't agree they should then plaster whatever they get all over social media, the evidence should be privately handed over to the police, who it's proven CAN and DO act on it, and they should be prosecuted from there.

There's far too many thick people out there who would happily burn some innocent persons house down with them in it because Sarah's mum's cousin said Brian at number 29 was a nonce.

Fraaahnces · 17/07/2023 01:00

What if the police were gathering enough evidence to charge someone and these amateurs fuck it up while letting the creep know that everyone’s onto them. That happens all the time. Great idea, tipping off a paedophile or ensuring that they HAVE to be let off charges due to something happening without due process. That will make them continue their practices in an even more secretive manner, or with kids overseas that are even more vulnerable.
What of the guy is actually innocent? What then? His face is all over social media because the dickheads running these stings are narcissistic in their own way and can’t help
but do everything on camera for “likes”. Even being falsely accused can utterly destroy someone’s livelihood.

Mumtothreegirlies · 17/07/2023 01:39

I’m for it personally. I think people who are against it are just part of the usual pc ‘I believe in anything the bbc tell me ‘ brigade.
it doesn’t effect criminal proceedings. Half of the pedophiles caught would have never been caught without it being brought to light, or were released after a precious conviction for raping children and or sharing child abuse images.
a neighbour down the road from us was a 3xs convicted pedophile, my husband had reported him years before because during a viewing of his house at work he discovered some vile evidence in his home and a teenage boy (unrelated to him) living there. The police did nothing. He was later caught by a pedophile sting, charged and sent to prison and is still there now, kept safe away from harming anymore children.
I think people have rose tinted ideas about how easy it is and how common it is for pedophiles to be put In prison, it’s really not! They walk amongst us every day on every corner. The police know who these people are, but they don’t have the capacity to keep them locked up forever and the sentences are minimal. The husband of someone I know was convicted 6 times for possessing images of abused babies, his sentences for 2 months at a time!.

in actually quite sickened at the amount of pedophile apologists on here. It’s alarming!

Mumtothreegirlies · 17/07/2023 01:44

Fraaahnces · 17/07/2023 01:00

What if the police were gathering enough evidence to charge someone and these amateurs fuck it up while letting the creep know that everyone’s onto them. That happens all the time. Great idea, tipping off a paedophile or ensuring that they HAVE to be let off charges due to something happening without due process. That will make them continue their practices in an even more secretive manner, or with kids overseas that are even more vulnerable.
What of the guy is actually innocent? What then? His face is all over social media because the dickheads running these stings are narcissistic in their own way and can’t help
but do everything on camera for “likes”. Even being falsely accused can utterly destroy someone’s livelihood.

That’s rubbish, you’re just parroting what you’ve heard on tele. The police do absolutely nothing to help protect children. They turn a blind eye because they’re powerless. These men would have walked the streets without anybody knowing how dangerous and disgusting they are. Now people know and the evidence is out there and hopefully their lives are destroyed too.
if you honestly think these men were about to get locked away you’re living in cloud cuckoo land. Plenty of known pedophiles are walking the street rehoused next to schools and parks. They get 2-3 years at best for raping a child fgs.

LadyJ2023 · 17/07/2023 02:01

Totally agree shouldn't be allowed. Imagine if that was your hubby except they got wrong address!!! Because it happened where I lived they burnt down the wrong house and the supposed nonces car and turned out wasn't the right street. Disgusting

Mumtothreegirlies · 17/07/2023 02:06

LadyJ2023 · 17/07/2023 02:01

Totally agree shouldn't be allowed. Imagine if that was your hubby except they got wrong address!!! Because it happened where I lived they burnt down the wrong house and the supposed nonces car and turned out wasn't the right street. Disgusting

Incredible how many ‘wrong’ address, wrong name, wrong man scenarios there have been on MN. It’s like everybody on here knows someone who’s house has been burned down due to pedophile stings it’s uncanny!!

Dibbydoos · 17/07/2023 02:23

It's a strange reaction, OP, if it's a sting. I personally think stings can provide very good evidence as long as the evidence is logged correctly.

Now if its a lynch mob, that's different and Id probably react like your DP did because theyre very often mistaken identity.

DreamTheMoors · 17/07/2023 02:44

I saw a video only this morning of a random man who videotaped his confrontation with a 45ish yr old man with whom he’d been texting. The man was an office-holder in the state legislature and apparently thought he was texting with a 14yrold and had arranged to meet up - only the videographer was there instead.
And then loaded it up to the internet.
I don’t know why, having all that evidence, the videographer didn’t just go to the police.
Hero syndrome or something I guess.
Excitement of “the bust” maybe.
The man ran off, but the camera-guy had all his info so I’m sure the police were notified.
Police do this, but now regular people think they can do it too.

BreadsNRoses · 17/07/2023 03:34

It’s disgusting how vigilantes film the whole thing and monetize it on the internet.

TommyNever · 17/07/2023 03:47

Mumtothreegirlies · 17/07/2023 01:39

I’m for it personally. I think people who are against it are just part of the usual pc ‘I believe in anything the bbc tell me ‘ brigade.
it doesn’t effect criminal proceedings. Half of the pedophiles caught would have never been caught without it being brought to light, or were released after a precious conviction for raping children and or sharing child abuse images.
a neighbour down the road from us was a 3xs convicted pedophile, my husband had reported him years before because during a viewing of his house at work he discovered some vile evidence in his home and a teenage boy (unrelated to him) living there. The police did nothing. He was later caught by a pedophile sting, charged and sent to prison and is still there now, kept safe away from harming anymore children.
I think people have rose tinted ideas about how easy it is and how common it is for pedophiles to be put In prison, it’s really not! They walk amongst us every day on every corner. The police know who these people are, but they don’t have the capacity to keep them locked up forever and the sentences are minimal. The husband of someone I know was convicted 6 times for possessing images of abused babies, his sentences for 2 months at a time!.

in actually quite sickened at the amount of pedophile apologists on here. It’s alarming!

Actually, you're fully aware that there are NO paedophile apologists on here and that you are talking complete garbage.

PurplePens · 17/07/2023 05:55

I disagree with vigilantes for the reasons that other posters have pointed out.
There are too many innocent people who have died due to these idiots, and that's without the ones whose lives have been ruined.

Bijan Ibrahini.
Julian Warrington.
Michael Phillips.
Alan Perch.
Christopher Hughes

Just to name a few.

However, it's ok that they were innocent, yet murdered by thugs posing as vigilantes, according to at least one poster here.
That's besides the fact that they can cause the collapse of a police investigation and indeed, a court trial.
I don't know if anyone saw the programme about this subject, it is on one of the terrestrial TV catch up channels, I can't remember which one, sorry.
It shows just what harm these thugs, sorry, vigilantes are causing.
It's nothing to do with being a paedophile apologist, as the same poster I mentioned referred us who disagree with vigilantes as, but everything to do with the laws of this country.
You can't act like murderous thugs on hearsay and rumour.

Shoxfordian · 17/07/2023 06:03

I don’t agree with them either - they could be disrupting an actual police investigation, they don’t always collect evidence properly so it’s then inadmissible, and putting it all online isn’t right.

I do think your husband could have made his point without shouting at you though op. Is he often like that when you disagree with him?

Sux2buthen · 17/07/2023 06:17

SemperIdem · 16/07/2023 23:09

YABU - these groups are run by poorly educated vigilantes who just want any excuse to be violent.

Famously, in the 00’s, one such group targeted a home and daubed “paedo” in paint across it. The homeowner was a paediatrician.

Believe that's a myth lol

WeWereInParis · 17/07/2023 06:29

in actually quite sickened at the amount of pedophile apologists on here.

Not one post on this thread has minimised, excused, justified, sympathised with, or in any way defended actual paedophiles.

WandaWonder · 17/07/2023 06:35

Mumtothreegirlies · 17/07/2023 01:39

I’m for it personally. I think people who are against it are just part of the usual pc ‘I believe in anything the bbc tell me ‘ brigade.
it doesn’t effect criminal proceedings. Half of the pedophiles caught would have never been caught without it being brought to light, or were released after a precious conviction for raping children and or sharing child abuse images.
a neighbour down the road from us was a 3xs convicted pedophile, my husband had reported him years before because during a viewing of his house at work he discovered some vile evidence in his home and a teenage boy (unrelated to him) living there. The police did nothing. He was later caught by a pedophile sting, charged and sent to prison and is still there now, kept safe away from harming anymore children.
I think people have rose tinted ideas about how easy it is and how common it is for pedophiles to be put In prison, it’s really not! They walk amongst us every day on every corner. The police know who these people are, but they don’t have the capacity to keep them locked up forever and the sentences are minimal. The husband of someone I know was convicted 6 times for possessing images of abused babies, his sentences for 2 months at a time!.

in actually quite sickened at the amount of pedophile apologists on here. It’s alarming!

Yeah let's all go out and buy pitchforks that'll make it all go away

Pringleface · 17/07/2023 06:40

Mumtothreegirlies · 17/07/2023 01:39

I’m for it personally. I think people who are against it are just part of the usual pc ‘I believe in anything the bbc tell me ‘ brigade.
it doesn’t effect criminal proceedings. Half of the pedophiles caught would have never been caught without it being brought to light, or were released after a precious conviction for raping children and or sharing child abuse images.
a neighbour down the road from us was a 3xs convicted pedophile, my husband had reported him years before because during a viewing of his house at work he discovered some vile evidence in his home and a teenage boy (unrelated to him) living there. The police did nothing. He was later caught by a pedophile sting, charged and sent to prison and is still there now, kept safe away from harming anymore children.
I think people have rose tinted ideas about how easy it is and how common it is for pedophiles to be put In prison, it’s really not! They walk amongst us every day on every corner. The police know who these people are, but they don’t have the capacity to keep them locked up forever and the sentences are minimal. The husband of someone I know was convicted 6 times for possessing images of abused babies, his sentences for 2 months at a time!.

in actually quite sickened at the amount of pedophile apologists on here. It’s alarming!

What’s alarming is that people as thick as this.

SpringIntoChaos · 17/07/2023 06:47

@Mumtothreegirlies

Your posts are actually terrifying. That people with your views actually exist honestly scare the shit out of me. Can't believe what I've just read.

Ohriley · 17/07/2023 06:47

It's not just the impact on a proper police investigation or the risk of mistaken identity. It's also the fact that often the accused have their own families, and their innocent partners and children also become victims of vigilantes. Many have to move homes, schools, have their children plastered on the Internet, their homes and cars vandalised etc. They've done nothing wrong but still a huge price.

FireflyJar · 17/07/2023 07:04

Patrolpatrol · 16/07/2023 22:53

I’m shocked. I didn’t realise so many were against it.

Why wouldn't they be? It's a kangaroo court by people who don't know what they are dealing with, and get it wrong. Usually thickos with a big stick mentality and your husband thinks so of you too by the sounds of it