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Original poster

To be fuming with lifeguard/safe guarding officer at gym

380 replies

Dinoswearunderpants · 16/07/2023 19:24

I'm beyond livid and just wondering if I should see things from a different point of view.

My DS is 2 and has been taking swimming lessons since 8 weeks old at our local gym.

I take him swimming 2-3 times a week as he loves the water. It's a great activity for him.

He swims without arm bands for a short distance 3-5 meters then holds onto me or the side of the pool.

He loves swimming, extremely confident and understands the safety in the water i.e never goes to the water without an adult, holds onto the side or adult when in the water.

I took him today and was approached by a lifeguard (who also said she's the safe guarding officer) I've never seen before who said she was 'deeply concerned' about him swimming and him drinking too much water.

I explained we take lessons here and he is holding his breath for the 3-5 meters he's swimming. He wasn't coughing or in any distress.

He would jump in from the side, swim to me, I'd hold him an explain he needs to wait a moment (so he can catch his breath) then he'd swim to the side and jump back in. All this done on his own accord and a big smile on his face.

I asked the lady to speak with his swim instructor, who was there at the time. She said she'd spoken to another lifeguard who had concerns.

Both lifeguards don't have kids and are in their early 20s.

I explained what happened to the swim instructor and her words were 'I'm disgusted they said something, I'm so sorry'.

I appreciate not many 2 years can swim however he can as I've always wanted to ensure he's safe in the water.

I think I'm going to raise a complaint as they say no evidence of distress. My son wasn't coughing or anything. He was having a great time as he usually does.

It makes me not want to take him there any more but I'm still tied into a contract with them.

OP posts:
EpicChaos · 16/07/2023 21:19

" holds onto the side or adult when in the water. "
So he's not " swimming " independently then? Didn't think so.
Who is encouraging him to hold his breath? Surely he needs to be learning how to breathe when swimming? and i query allowing him to get out of breath.

WildUnchartedWaters · 16/07/2023 21:20

EpicChaos · 16/07/2023 21:19

" holds onto the side or adult when in the water. "
So he's not " swimming " independently then? Didn't think so.
Who is encouraging him to hold his breath? Surely he needs to be learning how to breathe when swimming? and i query allowing him to get out of breath.

OP.claims the child jumps in and swims metres to her.

He must have really long arms.

WildUnchartedWaters · 16/07/2023 21:21

Saschka · 16/07/2023 21:18

Oh come off it OP. No two year old has the cognitive ability to fully “understand water safety”. They don’t even have the verbal capacity, let alone the ability to understand and weigh the risks.

I was on your side until this point, but fuck me, you are absolutely deluded.

Show quote history

Yes they do.

Much better than the childless lifeguard in their 20s who doesnt have a clue.

NoraBattysCurlers · 16/07/2023 21:22

This has to be the silliest OP in quite a while.

SpidersAreShitheads · 16/07/2023 21:22

Dinoswearunderpants · 16/07/2023 20:16

Ha of course I must be. Silly me for teaching from a young age the importance of water safety.

And I assume your 8 year still uses armbands?

Show quote history

In fairness OP, you complain about "bitchiness" from PP on your other comment - and yet here you are taking a pretty nasty swipe at children who have struggled to learn to swim.....

Pot. Kettle. Black.

bravefox · 16/07/2023 21:22

...still waiting to hear how you know the lifeguards don't have kids..

WildUnchartedWaters · 16/07/2023 21:24

bravefox · 16/07/2023 21:22

...still waiting to hear how you know the lifeguards don't have kids..

Ops not coming back.

Shame, as I'd also like to know that and about her childs extraordinarily long arms

wholivesondrurylane · 16/07/2023 21:28

bravefox · 16/07/2023 21:22

...still waiting to hear how you know the lifeguards don't have kids..

guessing they must have looked completely blank when the OP spoke about her 23 months old or something like that 😂

NeedToChangeName · 16/07/2023 21:28

JustHavinABreak · 16/07/2023 20:19

Better that they were overly cautious with your little one than too relaxed with ANY one.

I think it's brilliant that you've managed to get your DS so confident in the water. Well done! And it's great that you're there ready to step in if he is suddenly tired or runs into trouble. However, if you raise a complaint there's every chance that a young lifeguard without lots of experience will feel that the next time they see something worrying, they'll be afraid to speak up and a child could die.

@JustHavinABreak that's a really good point

Canisaysomething · 16/07/2023 21:32

The lifeguard was just doing their job. No need to get worked up over it.

EpicChaos · 16/07/2023 21:32

WildUnchartedWaters · 16/07/2023 21:20

OP.claims the child jumps in and swims metres to her.

He must have really long arms.

Show quote history

@WildUnchartedWaters LOLz 😂
More likely that he thrashes away at the water trying not drown and just, by sheer good luck, rather than good management, gets to her, or the side of the pool, which would explain why he gets breathless.

No shame btw in any child, or adult even, wearing arm bands until they feel confident in the water.

WildUnchartedWaters · 16/07/2023 21:34

EpicChaos · 16/07/2023 21:32

@WildUnchartedWaters LOLz 😂
More likely that he thrashes away at the water trying not drown and just, by sheer good luck, rather than good management, gets to her, or the side of the pool, which would explain why he gets breathless.

No shame btw in any child, or adult even, wearing arm bands until they feel confident in the water.

Show quote history

All while holding on to her or the side 🤥

PollyThePixie · 16/07/2023 21:35

Dinoswearunderpants · 16/07/2023 19:58

OK so you're all OK with this. How I see it the hundreds of times before that we've swam, and they've never had a concerned. But now some newbie has received their half day training course in safe guarding, they're now an expert?

There was no evidence of him swallowing any water. That's my issue.

I think you’re very proud of you DC’s achievements and you’re feeling a bit prickly about what you perceived as an insult regarding them and your mothering. Just let it go.

JanesBlond · 16/07/2023 21:38

You are fuming… because the lifeguard wanted to check your child was ok? Which is literally their job?

viques · 16/07/2023 21:43

Titfortat78 · 16/07/2023 20:46

My daughter used to when she went with her support worker. She could swim and they knew that. The staff knew her SW as she has worked as a lifeguard and teaching children to swim. But because she has a disability has to stay in the shallow end. Which she found boring so she would jump in the deep end so she could tread water and laughed when a lifeguard jumped in to get her out. 😂😂😂

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Goodness, how hilarious. Let’s hope there wasn’t another child in difficulty while the conscientious lifeguard was being distracted by your daughter.

NerrSnerr · 16/07/2023 21:44

And I assume your 8 year still uses armbands?

I think this comment is all we need to know about you OP. You sound awfully bitchy.

Yes we get it, your child is oh so advanced. I'll put good money on them being able to read chapter books before school and all the other things parents brag about.

They're doing their job. If you do complain, please mention the lifeguards age and whether they have kids though as that's really relevant.

Cheeseandlobster · 16/07/2023 21:46

CoreyTaylorsSoggyTshirt · 16/07/2023 19:32

She's in charge of safeguarding, she was literally doing her job.

Her age and whether she has kids or not is entirely irrelevant.

Agreed. And ffs. He is 2. TWO!! No matter what boy wonder you believe him to be, actually he is still a baby and he does not have the level of understanding you believe him to have. Accidents can happen in the blink of an eye and you need to stop being so blasé about this

EpicChaos · 16/07/2023 21:46

WildUnchartedWaters · 16/07/2023 21:34

All while holding on to her or the side 🤥

Show quote history

SMH! I know, tbh, i'm glad there are life guards there that are keeping an eye on things if even that part of the story is true?.
What if the OP slipped in the pool and went under herself, what would the toddler do then, I've known things like that to happen. She should never take anything for granted near a swimming pool/any other water, it only takes a split second for things to go drastically wrong.

It all goes on on mumsnet, doesn't it?! :-/ what with Tarzan junior here and someone on another thread that won't accept that some people work away from home. It's a funny old world, isn't it?!

PegasusReturns · 16/07/2023 21:47

I’m concerned you’re minimising risks here.

no two year old understands water safety .

I say this as someone whose DD swam when she was 2. We had a pool and she swam every day. When she was about 4 she was riding her bike round the pool and fell in. She just sank like a stone. Didn’t even attempt to save herself before she was pulled out.

Don’t get complacent

SiobahnRoy · 16/07/2023 21:48

I'm beyond livid
Really? Over lifeguards doing their job?

and just wondering if I should see things from a different point of view.
Yes, yes you should. You don’t actually appear to want to though.

AnneElliott · 16/07/2023 21:49

It's annoying but I don't think there's anything to complain about. I had similar with my DS as he was hanging round my neck playing and they thought he couldn't swim. They said for him to stay in the deep end he had to prove he could swim.

I gave him a leg up out of the water and he did a great dive followed by a length under water. Lifeguard was right yes you're fine. But surely it's worth checking out?

Conversely the lifeguard that just whistled at my friends mum who had a seizure in the pool and left it to me and my friend to rescue her (we were 10!) was completely unreasonable and I so wish there we'd complained about that.

ForeverFriendsAndPierrot · 16/07/2023 21:50

Has the nasty op gone?

WildUnchartedWaters · 16/07/2023 21:50

NerrSnerr · 16/07/2023 21:44

And I assume your 8 year still uses armbands?

I think this comment is all we need to know about you OP. You sound awfully bitchy.

Yes we get it, your child is oh so advanced. I'll put good money on them being able to read chapter books before school and all the other things parents brag about.

They're doing their job. If you do complain, please mention the lifeguards age and whether they have kids though as that's really relevant.

Perhaps she could mention the unprofessionalism of the swim instructor who was 'disgusted ' in her colleagues 🤥

Redbone · 16/07/2023 21:50

You are being absolutely ridiculous and I say this as a mother whose son was very competent in the water at two also.

110APiccadilly · 16/07/2023 21:52

viques · 16/07/2023 20:04

No two year old “understands safety in the water”. They just don’t. Just like two year olds don’t understand crossing the road safety, electrical safety, ingesting poisonous substances safety, not picking and eating berries safety, car seat safety, hot cooker safety, climbing onto window sill safety , playing with matches safety etc etc etc. It is why two year olds have parents and carers.

If you complain you will possibly find your swimming pool changes the rules about small children swimming because they don’t want to be the ones explaining their policy at an inquest.

It depends what you mean by "understands safety in the water". My two year old knows not to jump into water unless I'm there to catch her. I still wouldn't leave her by the side of the pool, mind! She also knows that before we cross the road we watch and listen for cars and don't cross if any are coming. She still has to hold my hand though.

I think they can start to understand safety things at this age, but they're not reliable and might forget if they're excited/ scared/etc. So as a parent you can't yet rely on what they've learnt, you have to act as if they don't know anything.