To be fuming with lifeguard/safe guarding officer at gym

[Dinoswearunderpants]

I'm beyond livid and just wondering if I should see things from a different point of view.

My DS is 2 and has been taking swimming lessons since 8 weeks old at our local gym.

I take him swimming 2-3 times a week as he loves the water. It's a great activity for him.

He swims without arm bands for a short distance 3-5 meters then holds onto me or the side of the pool.

He loves swimming, extremely confident and understands the safety in the water i.e never goes to the water without an adult, holds onto the side or adult when in the water.

I took him today and was approached by a lifeguard (who also said she's the safe guarding officer) I've never seen before who said she was 'deeply concerned' about him swimming and him drinking too much water.

I explained we take lessons here and he is holding his breath for the 3-5 meters he's swimming. He wasn't coughing or in any distress.

He would jump in from the side, swim to me, I'd hold him an explain he needs to wait a moment (so he can catch his breath) then he'd swim to the side and jump back in. All this done on his own accord and a big smile on his face.

I asked the lady to speak with his swim instructor, who was there at the time. She said she'd spoken to another lifeguard who had concerns.

Both lifeguards don't have kids and are in their early 20s.

I explained what happened to the swim instructor and her words were 'I'm disgusted they said something, I'm so sorry'.

I appreciate not many 2 years can swim however he can as I've always wanted to ensure he's safe in the water.

I think I'm going to raise a complaint as they say no evidence of distress. My son wasn't coughing or anything. He was having a great time as he usually does.

It makes me not want to take him there any more but I'm still tied into a contract with them.

You explained he was capable of holding his breath and therefore reassured her he was not taking in too much water. They were probably concerned about secondary drowning.

‘If your child has had a near drowning, or perhaps swallowed too much water, keep a close eye out for the symptoms of secondary drowning and take them to the hospital immediately. Symptoms can even take between one and 72 hours to appear. ‘

She was doing her job.

You are right to be upset. You MAY need to make a formal complaint; I can't say for sure but it seems like the lifeguard/lifeguards ASSUMED the kid couldn't swim because he is small. I doubt they actually WATCHED him swim.

I've witnessed lifeguards (many times throughout my years of swimming) approach parents about their young but OBVIOUSLY GOOD SWIMMER children and tell the parents that they need to be in the water with them and that the child isn't allowed to dive (at a pool where the child REPEATEDLY showed they knew how to swim AND how to dive).

Sometimes, power goes to people's heads or they assume something without thinking; potentially both happened here.

Gosh there's some meanies on this board.
I think it's fab that 2 year old is swimming. By 11m old loves his lessons but no where near what I'd call a swimmer yet lol.

I do feel anxious about taking him myself and I can understand you'll feel self conscious about going back to that pool after someone has highlighted what they think is basically your inadequate parenting. (My interpretation of their actions not what I think of you.)

I don't think making a complaint will help, it will just single you out more. Just go back when you're having a good day, smile at the lifeguards and carry on regardless, it will all get forgotten.

Interesting the aibu vote doesn't reflect the comments on here.

He loves swimming, extremely confident and understands the safety in the water i.e never goes to the water without an adult, holds onto the side or adult when in the water.

No 2 year old 'understands the safety'.

As you said not many 2 year olds can swim so they were just checking. It's a bit like when you take off in a plane, the cabin crew do a walk through to check you have fastened your seatbelt.

I will say this as politely as I can but you can be next to their child and the child (OR AN ADULT) can still drown what part of being a strong swimmer can still mean you can drown do people not understand? would people get the message more if it was on Tiktok? does it need to be tattooed on their brain? does the school IQ level need to be raised?

“I'm beyond livid and just wondering if I should see things from a different point of view.”

I sincerely hope you have! They are only concerned about the safety of your child for heavens sake.

It doesnt matter they can swim, they still need to be properly supervised by their parents and that means being in the water with them.
As for diving , if the pools too shallow they can break their neck or bang their head,

You seem disproportionately angry tbh

because deep down OP knows she was in the wrong but doesnt want to admit it to herself

Well I know you’ve written it in capitals letters and all but if you know anything about actual swimming lessons you’ll know that holding your breath is not swimming. It’s just that - holding your breath under water - very different, and not something an instructor would encourage in my experience.

If lifeguards can’t ask questions of anyone, why are they there? Is OP wearing some sort of badge identifying her own swimming and lifesaving capabilities so they can spot that from a distance and think right, won’t both with that one. Of course not! Whether OP is livid or not doesn’t come into it. It’s a risk assessment, the same as your other examples.

*You are right to be upset. You MAY need to make a formal complaint; I can't say for sure but it seems like the lifeguard/lifeguards ASSUMED the kid couldn't swim because he is small. I doubt they actually WATCHED him swim.

I've witnessed lifeguards (many times throughout my years of swimming) approach parents about their young but OBVIOUSLY GOOD SWIMMER children and tell the parents that they need to be in the water with them and that the child isn't allowed to dive (at a pool where the child REPEATEDLY showed they knew how to swim AND how to dive).

Sometimes, power goes to people's heads or they assume something without thinking; potentially both happened here.*

What nonsense.

The life guard asked OP a question. Discussed with swim instructor. Matter resolved.

End of.

OP's pride was hurt. That's it.

*You are right to be upset. You MAY need to make a formal complaint; I can't say for sure but it seems like the lifeguard/lifeguards ASSUMED the kid couldn't swim because he is small. I doubt they actually WATCHED him swim.

I've witnessed lifeguards (many times throughout my years of swimming) approach parents about their young but OBVIOUSLY GOOD SWIMMER children and tell the parents that they need to be in the water with them and that the child isn't allowed to dive (at a pool where the child REPEATEDLY showed they knew how to swim AND how to dive).

Sometimes, power goes to people's heads or they assume something without thinking; potentially both happened here.**

Have you ever witnessed anybody being prevented from drowning by a POWER hungry lifeguard?

Have you ever witnessed anybody being prevented from drowning by a POWER hungry lifeguard?

no, but a kid drowned in our gym swimming pool. While the parent of the kid was distracting the lifeguard by berating him about a cancelled swimming lesson. So I do understand they have an important job to do.

no, but a kid drowned in our gym swimming pool. While the parent of the kid was distracting the lifeguard by berating him about a cancelled swimming lesson. So I do understand they have an important job to do

Totally agree. How awful.

I’d say the majority of people who drown can swim
OP is being entitled and ridiculous

OP's pride was hurt. But what a strop because of it.

Thought I'd give an update as so many of you were invested.

Complaint made to the Manager who apologised and explained this isn't the first time said staff member has been complained about due to her directness.

So looks like I was right to complain.

I thought you were unhappy she spoke to you at all because there was "no evidence of swallowing water" per your previous posts. Is it just how direct she was about her concerns that your issue actually was?

Or did the manager simply say sorry she was so direct, but stand behind the staff member for approaching you?

But if the pool has rules, them's the rules, however well the child can swim. Children under 8 aren't supposed to be unaccompanied in a lot of pools. It's not children under 8 who can't swim.

My toddler swims well enough with a woggle, and is obedient enough that I personally would be happy to take her and her baby sister together to swim in the baby pool in the local leisure centre. However, this isn't allowed. I don't spend my time complaining that it's unfair because in my case it would be safe.

Well that sounds like it was handled professionally, well done 👍

So looks like I was right to complain.

For her "directness" ? No, sounds like appeasing a good customer.

Don't get me wrong. I think you're great getting your LO in the water so young. I did the same with mine. And it's a bit unusual.

But I don't understand you getting SO pissy about someone questioning you. 🤷‍♀️

Still say it's hurt pride.

@sunglassesonthetable sounds the same to me. If OP had been right to complain about being aporoached I'm sure the manager would have been saying sorry she was approached at all, not sorry for the employees communication style.

No...not right to complain. Just means there are other parents who think they know more than the lifeguards and object to being spoken to in anything but grovelling tones.

Exactly.
My ds got shouted at by a parent who tjought it was ok for her 6 year old to be in the deep end while parent was still dressed and not even sitting on the side. She seemed to think he should have left his duty and come looking for her rather than tell her dd to get out.
Saying the LG was direct, doesnt mean she was wrong in what she said , just the way she said it

DD works at a gym. The amount of times the manager apologises to a customer and promises to talk to the staff member just to appease them and then laughs about it with the staff member is unreal. DD told a customer to fuck off and didn't get a bollocking, the manager was actually more concerned (behind the customers back) as to whether dd was ok or not and told dd the customer deserved it. But of course they told the customer that dd would be disciplined. 😁

I think it's sad if the manager does actually talk to the lifeguard as like so many others have said it could well put the lifeguard off doing their job properly. However lifeguards are hard to get hard of and the manager is very unlikely to do anything to risk pissing off a lifeguard as they hold all the cards (certainly locally). My very expensive members only gym is always cutting child swimming sessions due to no lifeguard availability. So I think it's unlikely they will be spoken to and even if they are they're quite likely to tell the manager that as the professional with the qualification in that situation they will use their judgement on what needs to be said/done. Not down to the manager to tell the lifeguard what to do/say when the manager probably isn't a lifeguard and wasn't there.