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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming with lifeguard/safe guarding officer at gym

380 replies

Dinoswearunderpants · 16/07/2023 19:24

I'm beyond livid and just wondering if I should see things from a different point of view.

My DS is 2 and has been taking swimming lessons since 8 weeks old at our local gym.

I take him swimming 2-3 times a week as he loves the water. It's a great activity for him.

He swims without arm bands for a short distance 3-5 meters then holds onto me or the side of the pool.

He loves swimming, extremely confident and understands the safety in the water i.e never goes to the water without an adult, holds onto the side or adult when in the water.

I took him today and was approached by a lifeguard (who also said she's the safe guarding officer) I've never seen before who said she was 'deeply concerned' about him swimming and him drinking too much water.

I explained we take lessons here and he is holding his breath for the 3-5 meters he's swimming. He wasn't coughing or in any distress.

He would jump in from the side, swim to me, I'd hold him an explain he needs to wait a moment (so he can catch his breath) then he'd swim to the side and jump back in. All this done on his own accord and a big smile on his face.

I asked the lady to speak with his swim instructor, who was there at the time. She said she'd spoken to another lifeguard who had concerns.

Both lifeguards don't have kids and are in their early 20s.

I explained what happened to the swim instructor and her words were 'I'm disgusted they said something, I'm so sorry'.

I appreciate not many 2 years can swim however he can as I've always wanted to ensure he's safe in the water.

I think I'm going to raise a complaint as they say no evidence of distress. My son wasn't coughing or anything. He was having a great time as he usually does.

It makes me not want to take him there any more but I'm still tied into a contract with them.

OP posts:
rwalker · 16/07/2023 22:28

Non issue dealt with move on

Codlingmoths · 16/07/2023 22:30

I would be very happy to be at a pool where I have evidence the lifeguards do active lifeguarding.
since, as you point out, you are a parent, and you have assumed they are not, you are much better placed than them both to understand how unusual a 2yo swimming is, and to know that it’s because your child is unusually talented at swimming, NOT because unlike other parents you are so dedicated to them that you put them in swimming lessons young. Every baby in our area was in swimming lessons from a baby and none could swim. I grew up on tropical islands, the 2yos couldn’t swim. Congratulations on your advanced 2 year old, could you give them some more credit for being advanced and yourself less credit for being such a special parent? And ease up on the snark wiht other parents too ‘I guess your 8yo still wears armbands.’ Your child is 2, not you.

bryceQ · 16/07/2023 22:32

They were doing their job! It's good they are diligent. You're completely over reacting.

SweetSakura · 16/07/2023 22:40

I remember aged about 7ish quietly playing a game with myself of sinking under water near the edge of the pool.

A lifeguard suddenly reached in and grabbed me.

Even aged 7 I knew that the lifeguard had done the right thing and that it was far better that they fished out a child unnecessarily than missed a child that needed help.

forgotmyusername1 · 16/07/2023 22:44

In our pool kids under 5 have to have flotation devices - back packs or arm bands. Maybe your pool has a similar rule

WandaWonder · 16/07/2023 22:55

forgotmyusername1 · 16/07/2023 22:44

In our pool kids under 5 have to have flotation devices - back packs or arm bands. Maybe your pool has a similar rule

That is very dangerous they are toys not life saving equipment

WildUnchartedWaters · 16/07/2023 23:00

WandaWonder · 16/07/2023 22:55

That is very dangerous they are toys not life saving equipment

Show quote history

What?

Codlingmoths · 16/07/2023 23:15

WandaWonder · 16/07/2023 22:55

That is very dangerous they are toys not life saving equipment

Show quote history

I am sure the rules also say parents have to supervise them within arms length!

HaveYouHeardOfARoadAtlas · 16/07/2023 23:27

Dinoswearunderpants · 16/07/2023 19:58

OK so you're all OK with this. How I see it the hundreds of times before that we've swam, and they've never had a concerned. But now some newbie has received their half day training course in safe guarding, they're now an expert?

There was no evidence of him swallowing any water. That's my issue.

I’ve no idea how long safeguarding training is but surely the more relevant qualification here is the life guarding one, which takes more than half a day.

Isn’t drowning normally a silent event? Not the coughing, shouting for help, obvious event people often think it is? I’ve seen a video of some kid nearly drowning in front of their parents who were in the pool and the parent was oblivious, life guard jumped in and saved them. They have to be so on the ball and it’s obviously better to be proactive rather than reactive.

bruffin · 16/07/2023 23:47

HaveYouHeardOfARoadAtlas · 16/07/2023 23:27

I’ve no idea how long safeguarding training is but surely the more relevant qualification here is the life guarding one, which takes more than half a day.

Isn’t drowning normally a silent event? Not the coughing, shouting for help, obvious event people often think it is? I’ve seen a video of some kid nearly drowning in front of their parents who were in the pool and the parent was oblivious, life guard jumped in and saved them. They have to be so on the ball and it’s obviously better to be proactive rather than reactive.

Show quote history

Lifeguarding is a full week course with a test at the end of the week. However once they qualify they have to have a further 20 hours training over the next 2 years to do a renewal assessment. If they dont do training in the last 6 months they need to retake the full course again.

LovePoppy · 16/07/2023 23:48

So because you’re embarrassed, you want to complain about people doing their job?!

Emz6103 · 17/07/2023 00:04

I agree with you Hun, I'd want a complete breakdown of what exactly is safe guarding and her qualifications. All kids swallow water too. You are right and I cannot believe so many people are ok with this overreach!!

AMothersWorkIsNeverDone · 17/07/2023 00:10

They were trying to protect your child

WildUnchartedWaters · 17/07/2023 00:13

Emz6103 · 17/07/2023 00:04

I agree with you Hun, I'd want a complete breakdown of what exactly is safe guarding and her qualifications. All kids swallow water too. You are right and I cannot believe so many people are ok with this overreach!!

Please say you're joking 🤣

WandaWonder · 17/07/2023 00:18

Emz6103 · 17/07/2023 00:04

I agree with you Hun, I'd want a complete breakdown of what exactly is safe guarding and her qualifications. All kids swallow water too. You are right and I cannot believe so many people are ok with this overreach!!

seriously?

Willyoujustbequiet · 17/07/2023 00:50

AmITooOldToDoThis · 16/07/2023 19:35

Isn’t there a risk of secondary drowning?

This.

I would be concerned too.

sunglassesonthetable · 17/07/2023 08:58

Seems like you were very put out by let's face it, some one doing there job.

Your LO has had lots of water and swimming input from you and is young to be doing this. And instead of praise you're being questioned- that seems to be the problem to me.

See it from their point of view. They're conscientious.

And now it's done and nothing occurred ( you carried on swimming) you seem to have got yourself in a huff. Let it go.

Be thankful for conscientious life guards. Always.

H007 · 17/07/2023 18:44

YABU my children both could swim 50m by the time they were 3. We even once had a lifeguard jump in fully clothed I was so embarrassed. They were just doing their job you can’t be annoyed with that. We’ve had to do swimming tests in new pools before so that my youngest can go in the deep end. They both do diving too so always want to practice.

WildUnchartedWaters · 17/07/2023 18:45

H007 · 17/07/2023 18:44

YABU my children both could swim 50m by the time they were 3. We even once had a lifeguard jump in fully clothed I was so embarrassed. They were just doing their job you can’t be annoyed with that. We’ve had to do swimming tests in new pools before so that my youngest can go in the deep end. They both do diving too so always want to practice.

Oh stop it.

Tessabelle74 · 17/07/2023 18:57

So you're basically wanting to make a complaint about them keeping an eye out and doing their job? Are you usually a Karen or just in regards to your PFB?

Cerridwen83 · 17/07/2023 19:08

How do you know they don't have kids?

Cucucucu · 17/07/2023 19:18

Just make sure you make a formal complaint . This is not acceptable and they should come and apologise

1983Louise · 17/07/2023 19:19

Wow big over reaction, you should have thanked them for doing their job, are you always this angry?

HaveYouHeardOfARoadAtlas · 17/07/2023 19:19

Cucucucu · 17/07/2023 19:18

Just make sure you make a formal complaint . This is not acceptable and they should come and apologise

Yes, and probably a bunch of flowers and maybe six months free gym membership. At the least.

TitoMojito · 17/07/2023 19:29

And if your child drowned, you would be furious the lifeguard wasn't paying attention. Be glad they are doing their job and looking out for your child's safety.

Also can people in their 20s not have children? News to me.