Will it really get even worse before it gets better? I’m already barely coping

[Drainedll]

I have a six week old DD and doing it entirely alone. I’m exhausted and scared about the future. I have some family support but nothing practical just an ear at the end of the phone. A friend breezily said today that I should cherish these few months as it all ‘ramps up’ when they can walk. I don’t know how I am going to manage as I need to work full time and will go back in 7 months. I hate my life so much.

I didn't find that at all, I found the first few months so so hard and then from 5 months it just got steadily better!! I adore spending time with my toddler and some people say they hated this stage! We're all different. I also went back to work full time and it's totally fine I have a nice balance and my son loves nursery

When they're walking they are starting to sleep better and once they go to childcare they get a better routine again. Going back to work helped me cope, I had a few hours in the day where I wasn't subject to totally sensory overload and someone else was responsible for meeting their immediate needs. Every week gets gradually easier and when I look back I don't know how I coped. My boys are lovely now but the baby stage was so hard.

All are different obviously but for me nothing compared to the first couple of months with my first (second time was much better).

I have a toddler that sleeps through (in fact I have a ten month old that sleeps through) so this is from talking to other mums rather than my own experience. Generally when people say their toddlers aren't sleeping through, in my experience it's common that the toddlers do sleep for decent chunks of time, maybe waking once or twice. That's a lot more manageable than newborn sleep.

I've known a couple of people with very disturbed nights at a later age, but they're definitely the minority (and personally at that point I would be doing some sleep training, for the benefit of everyone!)

So chances are you will at least get much better sleep, even if she's not actually sleeping through as a toddler.

Are you spending time with people with babies the same age? If not, join a baby massage group etc - these are the people you need to hear right now - who are at exactly the same stage and you can support each other. We mostly talked about sleep deprivation but it helped being in it together. It does get better and you are also at the point when you can still remember your old life of sleep, are still recovering from the birth and are getting used to your whole life being turned upside down. I couldn’t love my DD more but those first weeks were so tough.

One of my biggest hates is people who act like their child developing is a major inconvenience to them. At best it's just a boring cliche people say to sound witty. It's the parenting equivalent of "if it does scan, is it free?" to someone on the checkout. At worst, it's a spiteful thing to say to a struggling parent.

The immobile baby stage was the worst time of my life. We had a purple crier who just would never be content unless I was constantly taking him places or pushing the pram.

Every single stage after that has been better. Crawling made him so much happier when he could show us what he wanted to play with. Walking is an exciting activity in itself, we just open the front door and he's thrilled to go anywhere. He's currently just under 2 and I adore everything about this stage. He's so adorable, funny and interested in everything. Yes, it's tiring keeping up with him but in the same way any enjoyable physical activity is.