To ask for the most inappropriate unsolicited advice you received from a random person about your child?

[Adviceagains]

I’m feeling sensitive today. Stood in a queue and dd asleep in her pram. Women behind me starts talking to her husband/partner saying that baby looks too hot, how ridiculous she is in a hat indoors in this weather… obviously I could hear. I didn’t say anything. She then taps me on the shoulder and shows me an NHS page on clothing/temperatures for babies and said I might need it. What the fuck? I am a new mum and already stressing over making the right decisions. Am I alone in this? I actually cried when I got in the car.

My friend was told not to let her baby crawl (in case it damaged her knees) - sorry don't babies start crawling when they are ready? She was throwing herself headfirst down a slide shortly after!
I was harrassed for not piercing my daughter's ears (living in Spain - it's offered even in NICU). Ugh, I hate this practice. Just said nah sorry don't want my baby looking like a decorated gypsy doll, she's cute as she is.

When my daughter was 3-4 weeks old, I was told that "people like you shouldn't be allowed to keep their babies."

When I asked what she was talking about, she said "well how does a little baby get two broken legs?"

My daughter was born with clicky hips, and the treatment was six weeks with her legs in plaster from ankle to hip, with a pole between the ankles to keep the legs in a "frog" shape.

I was too shocked and upset to respond, but I didn't take my daughter out again until the plaster came off.

A man came over when I was breastfeeding DS (now 23) in McDonalds in Milan.
He stood over me for ten minutes explaining how I should be carrying around a tiny mattress to lay DS on to feed. Always. His wife stood behind him nodding.

I was having to translate it all to SIL who was also breastfeeding my now hulking huge nephew.

That was the first and last time I breastfed in public for months. I didn’t believe him about the mattress, it certainly wasn’t one of the million Italian things I was “doing all wrong Signora!”. But being a new mother in a cultural soup that wasn’t my own was just too damn stressful.

I think he was 4 before I wasn’t worried about being mistaken for the “the foreign babysitter” and anther round of “Does his mother know you have no idea what you are doing?”

Big fat hug. It sucks that the occasional person has a lot to say about stuff that really isn’t their business. And they get to occupy our thoughts and chip away at our confidence in a way the many thousands who don’t stick their oar in … don’t.

But there really are a teeny tiny minority. All the other people milling around thought you were managing perfectly well. You can tell from their silence. And their vote in your favour STRENUOUSLY outnumbers the PolicePeople On Infant hood Doing It Right Patrol.

Lived in Italy when my children were little,the local prostitutes were always telling me off about various things to do with clothing.I used to try and avoid them,was difficult as my friend lived next door to a house that was a brothel.Provided hours of fun for us as we sat in her lounge watching it all.

I met up with one of my best friends for a coffee, she lives an hour away and I hadn't seen her for ages due to Covid. I went onto buy DD, then a very loud two year old, a big cookie and let her watch Baby Bum on her tablet. Not the norm but I figured it was the only way we could have a good catch up.

My friend told me she had a friend with an immaculately behaved baby who was given no sugar or screens, wasn't that amazing, should she ask her to pass on any tips?

A few years on and my friend has a toddler who loves a good kick off. He loves white chocolate Magnums I've noticed and has a tablet. She says she can't take him to coffee shops or restaurants as he won't sit still!

"Breastmilk is best for baby, you know" said (judgily) why I was feeding DD expressed breastmilk in a bottle. I gleefully put her right.

"An only child? She WILL be VERY LONELY" cheers, you have NO IDEA why I only have one.

"Selective Mutism? That's just shyness/awkwardness/rudeness" - this didn't even warrant a response

while*

Just now on MN, rather than managing my own childcare I should apparently be letting my kids go home with randoms from school, just so I'm not impeding their social development 🙄

Random woman in supermarket around 9 yelrs ago .aaah he needs socks on poor love,don't you you need socks on don't you? To 5 month old ds.

No he doesn't its red hot outside and we've come in here for the aircon thanks

Oh god fucking “colpo d’aria” was the bane of my existence. 🤣

My father telling me I needed to give my 8 year old (autistic and nowhere near ready to go out alone) DS some 'freedom' - he will never learn how to be normal of you don't let him out to play.

I am still to form a reply and it was over 10 years ago 🤦🏻‍♀️

Also a wee mention for my Nanna who cut the broccoli article mentioned upthread out of the Daily Mail so she could give it to me and help cure DS!

DS is a grown adult now and oddly; he is still autistic. Although tbf I didn't let him play out alone at 8 and he would not eat broccoli so maybe they were onto something 🤣

3rd DD had both a stammer and other speech difficulties. She was also tall for her age so looked older.
I paid for speech therapy and did it daily with her faithfully from 3 til 6. At the end of it, she had overcome the stammer and could be understood. I stuck to never drawing attention to it.
I had "you should talk directly to her more"
"Do stammers run in the family"
"Have you thought about taking her to a doctor"
And finally "I told you she would grow out it"
She is now 15. Looking back I really wish I had just said "oh do fuck off" to every one of them.

Just to clarify, 3 to 6 years! Not 3 to 6 everyday!

I was on my phone on the postnatal ward and some woman who had just arrived into the bay announced loudly that she couldn't believe some women were more interested in making phone calls than holding their baby.

Baby was in NICU and I had left while they sorted out new feeding tubes etc. I was calling the unit to see if they were done so I could go back. I couldn't walk as if they weren't done there were not seats outside and I'd had an emergency c section a few hours earlier.

I honestly could have lynched her! I made sure I was really loud on the phone & then when the midwife came I announced loudly that I was leaving to go to NICU to see my baby as the procedure was finished could they fetch me my pain tablets now.

She looked embarrassed and avoided my gaze. I hope she learnt not to be so fucking judgemental!

Also someone else who said 'why can't they just look at their baby' when I was scrolling on my phone.... baby was asleep 🙄

Our nanas and that fecking article!!! They were convinced it would work 😂😂
Really annoys me that I like brocoli, even now!

I was just so shocked and blindsided and it was my first baby so I kind of mumbled I hope so and scurried off! It's always after the event when you get home that you think of the good responses in those scenarios isn't it?!

Random woman has clearly missed the baby pulls the socks off and throws them out of the pram/buggie stage. 🙄

Autistic DS's favorite food was broccoli 🥦 (trees), he's still autistic.

Not necessarily a jab at me personally but it pissed me off. Distant relative commended me at a family bbq, when my first was about 6 months old, for talking to my daughter because apparently mums my age (I was very early 20s at the time) don't do anything but sit on their phones or plonk the kids in front of the tv. It's always the ones who haven't had an actual baby for 20 years that love to berate young mums, yet all the young mums I know are doing a brilliant job

One of my sons was dashing about in a slighly inappropriate way in a supermarket. (None of us are perfect all the time)

A man in all seriousness suggest that in his day kids had less food and had less energy as a result and i should not give him lunch anymore to calm him down.

Someone shouted at me to get out of the road with my buggy as I'll get my baby killed. I was crossing the road and there were no cars.

That's the only one that really annoyed me. I smile and ignore for everything else.

I was told numerous times my baby was cold and needed more clothes. He was happy, giggling and waving his arms about but no - they knew my baby better. This same baby who grew to be a child who wore shorts all year and when walking to school in the snow and me insisting on a jacket had stripped down to his polo top by the time we got there.
'I think I know my baby's needs better than you thank you' is what you need to say.

You'll always get nosy busybodies. Maybe for future ones try something along the lines of this. After whatever comment they've made look at them with a really puzzled expression. Then say "I'm so sorry I must have had a total brain fart there! Remind me..at what point did I ask for your opinion/advice?" They will obviously say "well you didn't " at which point you say "no...I didn't did I..." then blank them 😁

I had a woman grab my baby's feet because she 'knew they were cold'. He was in a sling with socks and bootees on under my coat. She quite literally shoved her hand up my coat to find his feet.
That was weird. I find it laughable to be honest but I have 4 kiddos so I'm probably immune now 😂

Newborn dd (i was a first time mum and 19 years old)

'If she cries,just slap her to shut her up'

'Don't pick her up and cuddle her!you'll spoil her'

'Drop a tot of whiskey into her bottle to make her sleep'

'Don't drink diet coke/water/tea/juice while pregnant-just drink coffee' (can't stand coffee)

'Get proper boots for her feet or they wont grow properly and she'll never learn to walk' (she was 3 days old)

'Don't use pampers-you HAVE to use Terry towelling-and wash them by hand-the machine is cheating'

'She needs a happy meal' (she was 6 weeks old)

'Get her weaned!' (She was 5 weeks old)

Don't breadtfeed-youll be useless at it and won't have enough milk' (fed her for 3 months)

'Leave her outside the front of the house,in her pram,in a heatwave,with no shade and unsupervised' (was was a few days old)

Everything I did-'ohhhhh,your making a rod for your own back there!'

'You don't need a car seat-just shove her on your lap'

'A chocolate button won't hurt'-at 2 weeks old

All gems from my own mother

How I survived her parenting,I do not know