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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for the most inappropriate unsolicited advice you received from a random person about your child?

207 replies

Adviceagains · 14/07/2023 13:52

I’m feeling sensitive today. Stood in a queue and dd asleep in her pram. Women behind me starts talking to her husband/partner saying that baby looks too hot, how ridiculous she is in a hat indoors in this weather… obviously I could hear. I didn’t say anything. She then taps me on the shoulder and shows me an NHS page on clothing/temperatures for babies and said I might need it. What the fuck? I am a new mum and already stressing over making the right decisions. Am I alone in this? I actually cried when I got in the car.

OP posts:
Tempone · 14/07/2023 14:16

My son was being a shit, and I was telling him off and a woman berated me for it!! She said he was probably just tired, he was seven and had just walloped someone, so I was putting him sitting down and telling him how bad his behaviour was and making him.apologise.

GrandmasMeatloaf · 14/07/2023 14:19

If I let me daughter try to play with boys, it is inevitable that they might get violent, hit her and pull her by her clothes - hurting her in the process and rip the clothes.

advice from mums of precious, perfect boys. My DD was 3 years old, they boys were about 6-7 🙄

Daftasabroom · 14/07/2023 14:24

My Dad, he'll always be very small. No dad he's just the youngest in our extended family. He's now 6'2" and towers over his grandad.

tothesea · 14/07/2023 14:26

‘He’s too big to be in a buggy’ from random dude. Ok random dude how do you suggest I get my just turned 3 year old from his nursery to school pick up in the 10 minute gap between pick ups I have when I don’t drive. Hmmmm HMMM??

Bananas1350 · 14/07/2023 14:26

Not advice. But not nice. Was at work pregnant. First ( and only ) baby. Was told by a temp worker that if u poked the baby though my stomach it would give them a birth mark. She then leaned over and jabbed my stomach.

I didn’t do anything then as I was young but by god now I would have smack her right in the face.

tothesea · 14/07/2023 14:28

Jeez @Bananas1350 what is WRONG with some people. What a weird thing to do.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 14/07/2023 14:28

I used to be overweight (not morbidly obese but clearly an unhealthy weight. And I definitely knew it).

I had had a difficult day, hadn’t eaten all day and decided to buy some sort of cheese pastry thingy on the station before taking the train home.

So I was standing on the escalator, sort of self-conscious about eating something like that in public but also too tired and hungry to wait until home… when this middle aged man tapped me on the shoulder, told me that I simply had to “eat vegetables, no sugar, no bread” and that “everything will be okay”.

no, it did not improve my day. Not at all…

YallaYallaaa · 14/07/2023 14:30

I got told off by a random in Asda for looking at my phone when I should have been talking to my baby.

I was looking at my shopping list on my phone, and my baby was fast asleep.

Pinkflamingopants · 14/07/2023 14:31

I was in Sainsbury’s with my 3 year old twins who were whinging (hot and tired). The cashier loudly spoke to the woman she was serving and said ‘they shouldn’t be out in this heat.’ I was bringing them home from nursery, and it was 24 degrees ffs. I said ‘what was that? Did you say something?’ And she went bright red and shut up.

BoohooWoohoo · 14/07/2023 14:31

I have a dd who is blonde and the same age as Madeline McCann. An old woman came up to me, bent down and studied my DD's face. She then told me not to take my dd on holiday to Portugal because she'd be abducted like Madeline.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 14/07/2023 14:31

As for OP:

yanbu. It is really shitty.

we would probably all be better off if we stopped caring about these thing…

I will definitely share my solutions if I ever find out how.

Random789 · 14/07/2023 14:32

Put my 10-month-old baby down at the foot of a rope climbing frame in the park, so that he could hold himself in a standing position and cruise.

A very small boy approached looking concerned. "He won't climb it you know," he told me sagely.

Keepyournoseout · 14/07/2023 14:33

Oh loads, so glad my kids are older now. No one ever says anything to me now because they are both brilliant kids and have clearly grown into decent, healthy young people.

Was told my ds would get fat because he ate half a cheese sandwich once as a snack. He's a 6 foot 2 slim sporty teen now.

Same person told me I shouldn't have his hair cut so short as it looks disgusting.

Same person utterly berated me for waiting until 6 months to wean him.

Was told by a different family member that I need to just get on and get my other ds walking now, at 12 months old.

Same person berated me for weaning youngest ds at 6 months.

Had several people berate me for not potty training them both sooner. Funnily enough they can both use the toilet fine now.

Pregnant with ds1 random people "are you sure you're 8 months, your bump is really small, have you been checked at the hospital you're going to have a small baby. Baby was born nearly 9lbs.

BlueberryElderberry · 14/07/2023 14:33

PrittStix · 14/07/2023 14:09

“oh he’s a boy?

You need to cut your son’s hair… it’s not fair on him that people think he’s a girl”

i mean, WTF? 🙄

I had similar from a relative.
I loved my boys longer hair (he was 3) and so did he. She told me I was selfish and it wasn’t about what I wanted (Evidently it was only about what SHE wanted).

Vinvertebrate · 14/07/2023 14:35

Like a PP:

”sorry about my son’s behaviour. He’s autistic and he’s struggling with the crowds and noise”

<eye roll> “I knew you’d tell me that. Autistic my eye. <to husband> They’re all autistic these days. He just wants a damn good hiding”.

I called her a rancid old bitch and told her to get fucked. Quite surprised myself (and DH) tbh. I definitely felt better as a result.

<flowers> for OP

LakeTiticaca · 14/07/2023 14:36

Not from from strangers and never from my own mother but my ex inlaws. First baby, exSIL: have you got some formula ready for when baby comes?. I said well I'm planning on breastfeeding. Ex SIL: ooh you don't want to be doing that!!
I had been a smoker but gave up when pregnancy was confirmed. However, I still sneaked the odd one when the cravings hit. (yes I know!! Big taboo!!)
Always made me feel sick though!!
Same exSIL: you shouldn't give up smoking because it will harm.the baby because it will get withdrawal symptoms from nicotine!! Her midwife told her this, apparently

MrsMoastyToasty · 14/07/2023 14:38

DS was in his pram and bawling his head off because he needed a nap but was fighting it. I had one more shop to visit to pick up some new clothes for him.
An old lady came up to me and said "when my kids were crying like that I would give them a bit of toast".
I was in a branch of Matalan at the time and no cafe nearby.

TheaBrandt · 14/07/2023 14:40

Dd1 used to scream and scream from 4-6 months was at my wits end sometimes walking round in the pram helped. Builders would call out useful suggestions as to what I should do to stop her crying. That was a dark stage of my life!

YouveCatToBeKittenMe · 14/07/2023 14:40

Dont let a dog jump up at you when youre pregnant, the baby will come out with scars!
well i worked at a dog rescue centre so that was a bit tricky

Jongleterre · 14/07/2023 14:46

Not a random person but ex mother in law who was mother in law at the time didn't like my breastfeeding as she had been unsuccessful at doing so and thought I should bottle feed my first born so that she could have baby overnight.

Not that I would ever have given up breastfeeding for this to happen but she shot herself in the foot when she said she would add a drop brandy to the bottle as it 'kills germs in the stomach' and 'helps baby sleep'!

AnxiousShep · 14/07/2023 14:47

Random789 · 14/07/2023 14:32

Put my 10-month-old baby down at the foot of a rope climbing frame in the park, so that he could hold himself in a standing position and cruise.

A very small boy approached looking concerned. "He won't climb it you know," he told me sagely.

That sounds really sweet.

takealettermsjones · 14/07/2023 14:47

Keepyournoseout · 14/07/2023 14:33

Oh loads, so glad my kids are older now. No one ever says anything to me now because they are both brilliant kids and have clearly grown into decent, healthy young people.

Was told my ds would get fat because he ate half a cheese sandwich once as a snack. He's a 6 foot 2 slim sporty teen now.

Same person told me I shouldn't have his hair cut so short as it looks disgusting.

Same person utterly berated me for waiting until 6 months to wean him.

Was told by a different family member that I need to just get on and get my other ds walking now, at 12 months old.

Same person berated me for weaning youngest ds at 6 months.

Had several people berate me for not potty training them both sooner. Funnily enough they can both use the toilet fine now.

Pregnant with ds1 random people "are you sure you're 8 months, your bump is really small, have you been checked at the hospital you're going to have a small baby. Baby was born nearly 9lbs.

Get on and get him walking 😆😆😆
Aye just send him to walking boot camp, why on earth hadn't you done that already??
Jeez some people!

justme2022 · 14/07/2023 14:48

Well it's up to you if you don't want to have her christened. I just thought as her supposed (WTF?) mother you would care about her soul.

Cheers FIL. I'll keep that in mind.

TheModHatter · 14/07/2023 14:49

I was approached and lectured in a playground about my one year old child wearing shoes rather than the soft leather ‘Daisy Roots’ type toddler shoes. Apparently feet do not grow properly in supportive leather shoes and I would cause foot and back issues for life by lacing my child into ankle boots.

Evidently this ‘expert’ did not recognise Piedro boots (special footwear for kids with mobility issues) or notice the splints that were the only way my child could learn to walk at all.

People talk shit, OP.

CrustyWingshield · 14/07/2023 14:50

An old childminder suggested we carry our baby facing outwards so he wasn't so attached to us so it would make things easier for her.

She then suggested giving him a dummy at 14 months to stop him crying when he had never had a dummy.

She was insistent the we were dehydrating him and had a tongue tie when he literally jumped out of the womb born to breastfeed and I confimed with a doctor he didnt have one. No issues feeding whatsoever he just has sensory issues and likes to play with food and drink.

And then she reported US to social services for dehydrating him.

Nutter.