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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Roll your eyes at the drama!

1000 replies

MondayblueFridayyellow · 14/07/2023 12:44

Some of the parents in our children's class have very kindly organised a surprise leaving party for the year 6 children.
The 'surprise' has unfortunately been leaked by one of the children. One of the mothers has sent a message to the whatsapp group (please see below. I have changed the names)
Do you think this message is a bit over the top? I feel for whoever's child it is as they will now be picked on.

The Message:

Evening all I have some very upsetting and heartbreaking news to share with you. 😢💔

It’s come to my attention there a couple of children who have access to this and the other PARENT group chat and have spoiled the surprise. Especially one child in particular I know who the child is and feel like naming and shaming!
They have shared all the information from the day of the party, time, what’s happening there and the hoodies.
They have even shared the sizes and colours to the children and that is sensitive information.

Myself, Parent 1, Parent 2, Parent 3 have all worked incredibly hard over the past few months from calling venues, DJ’s booking things and surprises.
We also all work full time have so much going on in our personal lives and it hasn’t been easy.
To say the least I’m extremely hurt by this as we have even kept all of this away from our own children. It really feels like a kick in the stomach. It’s been so stressful and now I personally am fuming all hard work has been wasted.
Parent groups are for parents and there are other conversations on the groups that aren’t for children’s eyes or ears.
We have expressed time after time this is a surprise and that our children do not know.

The jumpers have been a nightmare amongst other things going backwards and forwards to suppliers etc.

I really really hope the person that has done this is ashamed of themselves and comes clean to the parents and apologises!

For me the excitement has gone and if this information had come out even a week ago no would have cancelled the whole thing.

The school haven’t taken on the stress of organising any of it and we stepped up if it wasn’t for us the kids would just be having that one last thing together at flip out and nothing else.

I’m sorry to rant but I hope you can all understand how hurt we are feeling.

💔💔💔

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
tunbridgeoutrage · 14/07/2023 14:26

Superdupes · 14/07/2023 14:23

God OP, I think I'd be going into hiding round about now.
Let's hope adults keep secrets better than kids huh!

I hope OP is right and someone did report this thread because this poor mum will now know that she is being mocked on here. I wish she would make an appearance. If she does I want her to know that some of us are on her side.

blankittyblank · 14/07/2023 14:27

PurpleWisteria1 · 14/07/2023 14:25

Have you actually been directly involved in organising this party OP? Have you been directly involved in organising anythjng large for the y6 class?
Its bloody hard work and a thankless task.
I would also be fuming and crushed if I had gone to all the hard work to have the surprise spoiled.
Similar to those parents who make a song and dance to their kids in reception that santas not real and how stupid all the other kids are for believing in a silly lie- yeah cheers for that.
The mistake the woman made was trying to keep it all secret in the first place. That was doomed from the start as you can’t make all the parents not mention it- never going to happen.
But yeah- I would be really disappointed.

Disappointed - yes. Upsetting and heartbreaking? Come on.

Codlingmoths · 14/07/2023 14:27

I can only hope that a number of parents
have responded I understand how disappointing this is, and we appreciate all your and others efforts, but this is a child you are talking about.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 14/07/2023 14:28

It's over the top but it's fucking annoying when a surprise gets ruined. She probably feels like all her hard work has been wasted. Obviously it hasn't because the party is still happening, but it's still shit for her and the other parents that have tried to do something nice.

MondayblueFridayyellow · 14/07/2023 14:28

PurpleWisteria1 · 14/07/2023 14:25

Have you actually been directly involved in organising this party OP? Have you been directly involved in organising anythjng large for the y6 class?
Its bloody hard work and a thankless task.
I would also be fuming and crushed if I had gone to all the hard work to have the surprise spoiled.
Similar to those parents who make a song and dance to their kids in reception that santas not real and how stupid all the other kids are for believing in a silly lie- yeah cheers for that.
The mistake the woman made was trying to keep it all secret in the first place. That was doomed from the start as you can’t make all the parents not mention it- never going to happen.
But yeah- I would be really disappointed.

I appreciate everything she has done and I understand her disappointment
I just think her message was a bit over the top. The message she sent also made me worried for the child.

OP posts:
Twyford · 14/07/2023 14:30

I'm quite concerned that she says she'd have called the whole thing off if she had found out about this earlier. What a miserable sort of reaction to have.

Loopylooni · 14/07/2023 14:30

Should I go against the grain here but I'm a class rep and it always seems to be me and a few others who do all the work for school stuff. I'm also working full time. Now if myself and others had gone to a ton of effort only to have it spoiled by someone else, id be fuming too. Its also not just the party, its all the details too. I actually think whomever did that, was pretty mean really.

Pipsquiggle · 14/07/2023 14:30

FFS - this is a completely OTT WhatsApp.

I would respond if someone wrote something nuts in our class group.

Something like:
'Thanks so much for what you have organised already. We really appreciate it. The 'surprise' element has gone but all the DC will still have a wonderful time. What a great end to their primary school stage'

blankittyblank · 14/07/2023 14:30

Codlingmoths · 14/07/2023 14:27

I can only hope that a number of parents
have responded I understand how disappointing this is, and we appreciate all your and others efforts, but this is a child you are talking about.

It's so self involved though to be THAT angry about it. of course it's annoying - but you know, some of us have genuinely heartbreaking news.
Using those dramatic words for something which is annoying at best, is over the top, and insensitive.

Mikimoto · 14/07/2023 14:30

Well, personally, I think it's upsetting AND heartbreaking...

Chocolatelabradorsarethebest · 14/07/2023 14:31

With this amount of drama over the simplest things I do wonder how some people get through a day!

If you do know the parents of the children that 'leaked' the info I'd be sending them a reply to say not to worry about any of this. I'd also make sure your kids don't make a big deal out of it to them, as it's horrible to be blaming young kids in this way.

LlynTegid · 14/07/2023 14:31

Exaggerated language has become far too common, and this is another example. As is the number of 'big' events that are overblown.

GoodChat · 14/07/2023 14:33

OhNoYouDidnnt · 14/07/2023 14:15

Name changed for this post....but I am in this same whats app group!!

Was it your child? Grin

MondayblueFridayyellow · 14/07/2023 14:33

Loopylooni · 14/07/2023 14:30

Should I go against the grain here but I'm a class rep and it always seems to be me and a few others who do all the work for school stuff. I'm also working full time. Now if myself and others had gone to a ton of effort only to have it spoiled by someone else, id be fuming too. Its also not just the party, its all the details too. I actually think whomever did that, was pretty mean really.

The child who has revealed it is only 11 years old. I do not know who has done it. But I am sure there intention was not to be mean. It was very likely out of excitement.

OP posts:
Superdupes · 14/07/2023 14:33

Oh god it's starting to feel like #shitshop all over again.

Maybe this will get the party some media coverage and 'upset and heartbroken' will get 5 minutes of fame and forgive the OP for posting her woes on MN?

And yeah I've been on the PTA and been one of four people that did everything. We never pulled shit like this though.

tunbridgeoutrage · 14/07/2023 14:34

blankittyblank · 14/07/2023 14:27

Disappointed - yes. Upsetting and heartbreaking? Come on.

It's just language. You know what she means. Is she sat there crying? I doubt it, but when you put your heart into organising stuff - whatever it is - it is crushing when it goes awry.

OP herself has said that this woman has done amazing things for the kids. That sounds pretty selfless while people on here are making out that she is some kind of cretinous diva.

Tophy124 · 14/07/2023 14:34

I also don’t understand why the children couldn’t have just done the flip or whatever it is? Sounds like a trampoline park? She wanted to make the fuss, so it’s her problem.

PurpleWisteria1 · 14/07/2023 14:34

MondayblueFridayyellow · 14/07/2023 14:28

I appreciate everything she has done and I understand her disappointment
I just think her message was a bit over the top. The message she sent also made me worried for the child.

It’s a bit over the top yes- but she’s obviously really angry and hurt which is where the heartbreaking bit has come from.
The part about the child I don’t agree with. Shouldn’t be blaming a child. It’s the parents who have been slack with letting the child see the what’s app. If she named and shamed a kid then all bets are off and my sympathy’s would vanish for her.

FuckOffTom · 14/07/2023 14:34

I’m sorry but this is tantamount to genocide. Alert the elders.

shropshirewitch · 14/07/2023 14:34

omg the person needs a hobby hahaha. Glorious dramatics.

tunbridgeoutrage · 14/07/2023 14:35

when she talked about naming and shaming the child I read that as naming and shaming the parents.

1987syderrs · 14/07/2023 14:35

tunbridgeoutrage · 14/07/2023 14:26

I hope OP is right and someone did report this thread because this poor mum will now know that she is being mocked on here. I wish she would make an appearance. If she does I want her to know that some of us are on her side.

@tunbridgeoutrage …are you the class rep at my child’s primary school in Tunbridge Wells? 😂

YoureOnMute · 14/07/2023 14:36

Eeeeeeeesh!
I'm confused about the "access" to the WhatsApp chat - does she mean that the child has been added to the group by their parent (which is a bit weird) or that the child got hold of/borrowed/used their parent's phone, read the messages about the party and then told their friends?

tattygrl · 14/07/2023 14:37

YoureOnMute · 14/07/2023 14:36

Eeeeeeeesh!
I'm confused about the "access" to the WhatsApp chat - does she mean that the child has been added to the group by their parent (which is a bit weird) or that the child got hold of/borrowed/used their parent's phone, read the messages about the party and then told their friends?

Almost certainly not that a child has been added to the chat. People would have noticed when a new person was added to the group, anyway - it shows up in the chat stream that someone new has joined.

Dymaxion · 14/07/2023 14:38

The children will still enjoy the event though which is surely what it is all about ?

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