Cakes and Treats at Work

[WhatTheFlipToDo]

I have worked at my current work place for about a year. I have been consistently a size 12 in clothes for two decades yet I have put on over a stone in that time and size 14 clothes are getting tight. The only variable between this job and my last one is a permanently well stocked table of ‘treats’. So, biscuits, those little M&S tubs of cake bites, donuts, Rocky bars. You name it.

It is a job where you end up incredibly tired sometimes and I have little will power around chocolate at the best of times but when I'm tired it’s a million times worse. Essentially, I eat far more sweet things now due to this bloody table of junk food. Obviously, as I eat things I replace them but then I just eat them again. I don’t know what to do. I’d like to ask the team to save treats for an actual occasional treat but, simultaneously, if I’m the only one who has no will power, is it fair to request they adapt their behaviour for me?

I feel the views in this article sum up my own well. https://amp.theguardian.com/society/2023/jan/17/people-should-not-take-cakes-in-to-the-office-suggests-food-watchdog-chief

Am I being unreasonable to want the team to cut back on the treats so I don’t get even fatter or is this my problem to manage? Genuinely contemplating leaving as I just will not be able to manage my weight without a change in workplace culture.

Yep sorry, I totally get it but it is on you. I don't have a sweet tooth but used to work in a lovely office with constant homemade samosas, pakoras, cheese scones, quiches. Much of it was utterly delicious and lovingly made rather than just packets of crisps and biscuits which made it extra hard to turn down. There was quite a competitive home cooking/ baking crew which would have been amazing say, once a month but all the bloody time was disastrous!

I found a will of iron was the only way. That and some healthy snacks, fruit etc. I did my fitness pal and was able to fit in the odd samosa etc but within my calories. Even if you're not doing a super strict 1200 cals a day, it's quite a good way to see how quickly these things add up.

Alternatively maybe you could suggest and promote a healthy snacks week? Dunno how well this would go down but I doubt you're the only one thinking these things?

As much or as little water as you can stand to down the vinegar down. Some people drink the vinegar neat but I need it diluted at least 1:1 otherwise my throat will burn and I will start choking.

Google The Glucose Goddess. I don't read it myself but my colleague does and told me. The (pseudo-)science is there.

I am totally with you, I don't buy this stuff, don't eat it at joke but will eat all day in the office if the stuff is there. You can't tell other people to stop but you can do things like, bring an office fruit bowl in, start a lunchtime walking group etc. Thrn the culture might start to change.

@notanicepersonapparently this used to happen in an office where I worked but I was one of those doing all the baking because people liked it. I liked making food that made them happy! I didn't eat it myself.

Wow. Lots of blame here on the individual.
Well done to those who have never had an issue with their self-control.

Treats for special occasions/end of week maybe in the office are perfectly acceptable, and if you have a cake or a biscuit on these occasions, that’s actually great and part of a balanced diet. Allow yourself treats. Deprivation leads to over indulgence and an unhealthy relationship with food.

There is no need for these to be out every day. It is hard for some (a lot) of people to say no when it is there - they have probably kept their own homes free of such things and maybe made their own lunches/healthy snacks to bring in to stop themselves self-sabotaging, but sadly lack of will-power when confronted with the things you like the most is bloody hard.

OP, ignore the competitive virtue signalling rice cake munchers on here and suggest maybe a fruit bowl or maybe even a kitty/snack rota for end of the week/special occasions? People don’t like to be told what to do (understandably!), but you could try and make a positive change that will benefit all without being seen as a party (ring) pooper!

I agree the culture is unhealthy.

I think people saying that you want others to miss out because you lack self control are missing the point that in an average workplace for every one fit/healthy person enjoying a slice of cake there will be 5 others that are overweight, unhealthy, high cholesterol, diabetic or pre-diabetic (I am a bit overweight and concerned about my health so not judging just stating a fact). The food culture is making it harder for the majority.

I used to visit a workplace regularly (once a week) in my 20s. I was into running and healthy at the time. I always took some biscuits or cakes. On one visit I heard one of the staff I worked with had recently had a heart related hospital admission. He was struggling with his weight also. I reflected that I hadn't helped matters and started taking in some fruit if I took anything. No I didn't force him to eat anything but I was contributing to a culture of "let's all treat ourselves to a few biscuits".

I think as some others have said it might be easier to always say no than to let yourself think about it. Maybe birthday cake only. Make sure you are eating lovely, healthy breakfast, snack, lunch that you enjoy. Take in fruit for the table and tell your colleagues you are on a health kick. Tell them your blood sugar has come up pre-diabetic at a health check if you like - that might make then stop pushing sugar and think about their own health. It's very common now to be pre-diabetic or diabetic in my experience.

I hear you OP, my old office was exactly like this with mountains of biscuits/cake/sweets etc. Even worse we had a catering function and all the extra/leftover desserts were brought down for us so regular huge bowls of chocolate mousse, lemon tart, pavlova etc. Christmas was ridiculous.

I 100% accept that I had no willpower in the face of this onslaught of sugar. I don't eat this stuff at home as I simply don't have it in the house, I know myself too well!! It didn't help that the job was pretty boring so I was constantly up and down making tea by way of distraction, standing by the kettle confronted by this huge array of delicious and addictive treats.

I've lost a stone since leaving that job.

The problem isn't the snacks, it's your lack of will power.

I would also be constantly eating them though so no judgement from me.

I used to work somewhere like this when I was teaching. People would buy extra when we had an after school department meeting and every week I wondered why I would have a stomachache that day. Once I worked out it was a direct result of all the processed food I stopped and felt so much better. I found brushing my teeth before the meeting meant I didn't eat any of it.

A lot of it is about your identity. You need to become someone who eats healthily/well. Tell yourself that's who you are and walk past the table.

Oh, and if you are stressed/angry/upset, deal with the emotion. Don't grab chocolate or cake.

@Roundtoedshoes Wow. Lots of blame here on the individual.

It's literally the only person to blame.
It's no one else's fault if someone can't say no.

. I do agree that a little bit of what you fancy does you good but I feel treats are being pushed on us all the time. If someone offers me something they’ve brought in for their birthday or they’ve made themselves and I say no to it I feel awful. It’s like I was saying I don’t give a shit about your birthday and your home baking looks like crap. I don’t know why I feel like this. It’s not logical.
I think this might be part of the issue.

I don't feel "treats" are being pushed on me when other people enjoy them.

I also don't feel awful for politely declining if I don't want any. Nobody has ever fallen out with me in the workplace for politely saying "no thank you", "thank you for the offer, I'm ok right now", "I might get some later".

I'm sure on Mumsnet someone somewhere will take a polite decline from a person as some sort of hidden judgement where the person declining is some sort of virtuous rabbit food nibbler, but most sensible people wouldn't read into it.

@Roundtoedshoes Wow. Lots of blame here on the individual.

Yes… because it’s nobody else’s fault but their own if they can’t not pick up the mini roll just because it’s there

I'm at the shops so I'll give it a go, thanks for the tip. I miss having a hot comforting fruit flavoured drink so much!

And this why half the foods I love taste like shit these days and everything is full of artificial sweeteners.

And if it’s not that they’ve taken the salt out! I still can’t get over what they’ve done to twiglets.
@LolaSmiles Thanks for your post. It does help to know that. I shall try to follow your example in future and not feel guilty.

Agreed! They ruined Volvic flavoured drinks, and there was a lemon drink that was ruined by this too.

If you can’t control your own intake that is your problem to deal with. Nobody else should have to be put out because of your failures.

Having read more of the thread, I really do think OP is getting unfair judgement.

Pps implying that the OP 'can't say no' or can't control themselves! I get what they're saying: it's not that you can't say no, it's resenting being put in the position where you HAVE to all the time. As some have said, colleagues can be really pushy and not take no for an answer - or there's emotional blackmail 'Oh, go on - don't be a party pooper on my birthday etc!' I've had all of this, and then constant digs about what I do or don't eat just because I refused a sugary offering.

I'm not overweight - but that's because I try hard to resist temptation. I don't buy this stuff myself because I know I'd eat it if I did, so like OP, I feel resentful when it's placed in my eyeline every time I want a cup of coffee. I know that's no justification for stopping others, as I've said upthread, but I think there could easily be a compromise so that only those who want to indulge see the stuff which is in a particular location.

It's OK being prim and saying that individuals are totally responsible for their weight and health. Yes, they are responsible, but the modern consumerist world places temptation in our way as never before in history. Manufacturers (whatever hypocrisy they spout about supporting healthy choices) push sugar at us and they know very well it's addictive - like flavour-enhancers (msg) in crisps etc).

Read Bee Wilson (academic specialising in the history of food at Cambridge) on this subject. Until 150 years ago there weren't really 'shops' as we know them. People ate a limited diet of bread, veg they had to grow themselves, a bit of cheese, beans and possibly a bit of meat and fish. The absolute crap which takes up so much of our supermarket shelves just didn't exist, and work was so much more physical that few people had the opportunity to become obese. As Wilson points out, a trip to the shop to buy a loaf of bread and a pint of milk often means walking past shelves of sugary, salty and fatty rubbish being pushed at us at very low prices.

II have no personal axe to grind here - I'm a healthy weight! Of course what we lift to our mouths is our responsibility, but please, those who think it's a black and white situation, acknowledge that we are confronted nowadays with extreme temptation of a kind unknown in human history.

This!

Is it snowing? I see a snowflake 😂

Maybe treat eating snacks like it's consent...

"Do I consent to this mini roll entering my mouth?"

This is actually a very good idea. A healthy eating week or month. And if it's a success maybe people could vote on whether to make it a thing or not, majority wins. Like I said upthread I was taken aback how many people were relieved when my company changed policy. Worth a suggestion anyhow!!

You can't tell them to stop. You need to exert will power. It was the same in the last office. I'd take one treat, wrap it and keep in my drawer all day. Then I'd eat it just before leaving. That stopped me going back for more. If you can't resist then hypnotherapy works.

Pps implying that the OP 'can't say no' or can't control themselves! I get what they're saying: it's not that you can't say no, it's resenting being put in the position where you HAVE to all the time. As some have said, colleagues can be really pushy and not take no for an answer - or there's emotional blackmail 'Oh, go on - don't be a party pooper on my birthday etc!'

but that is all irrelevant as no one is "pushing" the treats. Also, no one is "implying" the PP can't say no or can't control themselves - they said it themselves!

@LolaSmiles Thanks for your post. It does help to know that. I shall try to follow your example in future and not feel guilty.
I find it helpful to think of it as, they're kind for offering because that's polite and I'm also able to kindly and politely decline. They aren't obligated to share food and I'm not obligated to eat it.

Because some people have their own baggage about food/snacks/treats, I find it's good not to make any reference to a reason why because if someone has their own hangups then they'll look to find judgement in whatever personal reason I give.

The issue with giving reasons is if I say "I'm trying to cut back on sweets / I'm watching my nutrition for a sports event I'm training for" someone with food baggage can twist that in their head to "Lola thinks I stuff my face and was judging me", even though there's no judgement at all because it's a personal choice.

Equally as soon as you give a reason, some people with food-related baggage see it as an invitation to discuss further (eg. Oh it's just a biscuit, one brownie won't hurt, I'm sure all the sport you can do you'll burn it off, don't be a spoil sport, there's nothing on you!). That usually boils down to them being insecure in their own eating habits and wanting company for the snacking. Being on the receiving end of this was one of the big factors why I stopped giving a reason. My eating habits and nutrition haven't got anything to do with anyone else.