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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cakes and Treats at Work

494 replies

WhatTheFlipToDo · 14/07/2023 00:19

I have worked at my current work place for about a year. I have been consistently a size 12 in clothes for two decades yet I have put on over a stone in that time and size 14 clothes are getting tight. The only variable between this job and my last one is a permanently well stocked table of ‘treats’. So, biscuits, those little M&S tubs of cake bites, donuts, Rocky bars. You name it.

It is a job where you end up incredibly tired sometimes and I have little will power around chocolate at the best of times but when I'm tired it’s a million times worse. Essentially, I eat far more sweet things now due to this bloody table of junk food. Obviously, as I eat things I replace them but then I just eat them again. I don’t know what to do. I’d like to ask the team to save treats for an actual occasional treat but, simultaneously, if I’m the only one who has no will power, is it fair to request they adapt their behaviour for me?

I feel the views in this article sum up my own well. https://amp.theguardian.com/society/2023/jan/17/people-should-not-take-cakes-in-to-the-office-suggests-food-watchdog-chief

Am I being unreasonable to want the team to cut back on the treats so I don’t get even fatter or is this my problem to manage? Genuinely contemplating leaving as I just will not be able to manage my weight without a change in workplace culture.

People should not take cake into the office, suggests food watchdog chief | Health | The Guardian

Food Standards Agency chairwoman likened culture to passive smoking, and said offices should be a ‘supportive environment’

https://amp.theguardian.com/society/2023/jan/17/people-should-not-take-cakes-in-to-the-office-suggests-food-watchdog-chief

OP posts:
Original poster
WhatTheFlipToDo · 14/07/2023 01:07

@Sunsetandsunrise Thank you. I feel you understand the point I was trying to make. And we work in a loosely connected field so you are right, there is definitely an element of being mentally drained at times and that making it challenging to ignore the comfort being offered by a Cadburys Mini Roll!

OP posts:
Summerscoming23 · 14/07/2023 01:10

blueshoes · 14/07/2023 00:31

Take a teaspoon of vinegar diluted with water before you eat those tasty sugary treats. Apparently helps to prevent sugar spikes.

Any idea how much water to vinegar?

PoseyFlump · 14/07/2023 01:11

I think some people are being a bit harsh on the OP. Yeah, people are free to do what they want but OP is free to find it frustrating too. It's so much harder to resist when you're hungry, tired and stressed.

YeahIsaidit · 14/07/2023 01:13

So, you want to ask your workplace to stop doing something they've presumably always done because you've put on a stone being unable to stop yourself from munching on the available snacks, yeah YABU. Just say no, don't shuffle towards the table with the snacks, chew gum... Its not fair to everyone else to do without because of your lack of willpower regardless of how many articles agree with your views

PoseyFlump · 14/07/2023 01:18

The OP didn't say 'stop'. They said 'cut back'. It all does get too much and out of hand sometimes. Especially when some workers try to outgo the goodies brought in by someone else the day before.

TimesRwo · 14/07/2023 01:20

So because you have no self control, you want everyone else to miss out on something they presumably enjoy?

Yeah, YABU.

PoseyFlump · 14/07/2023 01:23

There's no grey area on MN. Black or white all the way 😂

ButterflyOil · 14/07/2023 01:30

Could you try bringing in more snacks that are healthier?

YeahIsaidit · 14/07/2023 01:38

PoseyFlump · 14/07/2023 01:18

The OP didn't say 'stop'. They said 'cut back'. It all does get too much and out of hand sometimes. Especially when some workers try to outgo the goodies brought in by someone else the day before.

If bringing in munchies every day is the norm, then yeah she is asking them to stop doing it. It doesn't matter if others try to out do one another with the snack assortment, if Bob brings in cupcakes on a Monday and Helen one ups him on Tuesday with an entire handmade gateau, it doesn't mean OP has to tuck in to either

Seashor · 14/07/2023 01:46

I’ve heard it all now.

No willpower myself so I’ll impact everyone! You’re an adult, just say NO and control yourself! I’d be giving myself a good talking to if I had so little willpower.

Bootsandbooks · 14/07/2023 01:59

OP I’m completely on your side here. I find it absurd that the culture in the UK is so blasé and relaxed about constantly snacking on these ridiculously unhealthy treats and having them constantly available, and I think offices should be a supportive environment for colleagues to live as healthily as possible (this is why offices invest in things like sit-stand desk and cycle to work schemes). The ultra-processed treats, baked goods and sweets like the ones you describe are designed by food manufacturers to be as addictive as possible, so please don’t blame yourself or a lack of willpower on your behalf. I think most people would also find it very difficult in a situation like that to resist!

People would be much more sympathetic if you were an alcoholic surrounded by booze, but to think about people day drinking is the office is absurd - despite the fact that all those junky, sugary, ultra-processed treats are, if not worse, at least as unhealthy and awful for your body as alcohol!

Some practical suggestions for you:

  1. is this a situation where you can work from home more to avoid the sweets?
  2. can you work in a different room/part of the office to where the treat table is located? Or at the very least, have your back turned to it and be away from it as far as possible so that you don’t have to see it constantly?
  3. can you suggest the treats be locked away in a cupboard/tin? Offices can have awful problems with mice of food is left out, so can you use that as an excuse to keep the food stowed away and further out of reach?
  4. can you suggest one day a week of themed cakes/home baking rather than just a constant supply of snacks, to make it feel more “special” and for the purposes of “driving office culture”?
  5. can you suggest that people switch to bringing in home-baked goods only from now on? That might reduce the amount of treats available, given that people would find it much more effort to constantly bake things like this, instead of buy them on the way in to work.
  6. most workplaces have some sort of healthy eating initiative, and if they don’t, can you start one? And suggest replacing the treats with fruit? Or would this be hugely unpopular?
TimesRwo · 14/07/2023 02:02

Bootsandbooks · 14/07/2023 01:59

OP I’m completely on your side here. I find it absurd that the culture in the UK is so blasé and relaxed about constantly snacking on these ridiculously unhealthy treats and having them constantly available, and I think offices should be a supportive environment for colleagues to live as healthily as possible (this is why offices invest in things like sit-stand desk and cycle to work schemes). The ultra-processed treats, baked goods and sweets like the ones you describe are designed by food manufacturers to be as addictive as possible, so please don’t blame yourself or a lack of willpower on your behalf. I think most people would also find it very difficult in a situation like that to resist!

People would be much more sympathetic if you were an alcoholic surrounded by booze, but to think about people day drinking is the office is absurd - despite the fact that all those junky, sugary, ultra-processed treats are, if not worse, at least as unhealthy and awful for your body as alcohol!

Some practical suggestions for you:

  1. is this a situation where you can work from home more to avoid the sweets?
  2. can you work in a different room/part of the office to where the treat table is located? Or at the very least, have your back turned to it and be away from it as far as possible so that you don’t have to see it constantly?
  3. can you suggest the treats be locked away in a cupboard/tin? Offices can have awful problems with mice of food is left out, so can you use that as an excuse to keep the food stowed away and further out of reach?
  4. can you suggest one day a week of themed cakes/home baking rather than just a constant supply of snacks, to make it feel more “special” and for the purposes of “driving office culture”?
  5. can you suggest that people switch to bringing in home-baked goods only from now on? That might reduce the amount of treats available, given that people would find it much more effort to constantly bake things like this, instead of buy them on the way in to work.
  6. most workplaces have some sort of healthy eating initiative, and if they don’t, can you start one? And suggest replacing the treats with fruit? Or would this be hugely unpopular?

What happened to be being a grown up and taking responsibility for your own lifestyle, including what you eat, rather than blaming others for it?

olympicsrock · 14/07/2023 02:07

I totally get your point. I work in a stressful job where I crave carbs/ treats for the dopamine.

At home I manage my lack of willpower by removing temptation ie not buying them. I would be exactly the same as you.
I had an eating disorder. Those saying ‘be an adult’ control yourself have NO iDEA how this feels to have these things tempting you.

FloofCloud · 14/07/2023 02:17

Just take alternatives i to work and avoid. You can't dictate what others do. It pisses me off the way others spoil things for the masses because of their views ... just avoid and eat a banana etc and letbothers do the same or eat the junk

LemonsOnTheMelons · 14/07/2023 02:22

YABVU. Why should everyone else have to miss out because you lack willpower and self control?

Take some responsibility for your poor choices and do something about it.

WandaWonder · 14/07/2023 02:27

It is your responsibility not there's

Does anyone take personal responsibility anymore?

Bootsandbooks · 14/07/2023 02:27

@TimesRwo
The problem with statements like yours implies that we treat food addiction like a willpower issue, when it should be treated exactly as an alcohol/drug/gambling addiction - which are taken much more seriously and are seen as mental health issues. (OP - I’m not saying that you have a food addiction, but just answering @TimesRwo question in more general terms). Alcohol, drugs and gambling are also significantly more regulated than the food industry, despite the fact that: 1) we typically encounter food significantly more in our day-to-day lives than alcohol/drugs/gambling and 2) that excess salt, sugar, preservatives and additives have terribly negative consequences for health.

The incredibly high rate of obesity in the UK is evidence enough that telling people to take responsibility for what they put in their bodies and “just eat less” & “just avoid this” or “just don’t eat that” & “restrict this” doesn’t work. Moreover, as I alluded to in my earlier post, food manufacturers pump out ultra-processed junk specifically designed to foster an addiction to their products.

I’m offering OP coping techniques and ways in which her environment could be adapted, not only for her benefit, but frankly for the benefit of all. Nobody needs a constant supply of cake in their office. If she has a colleague that can’t get through the day without a slice of cake (which, in itself, is concerning - again, if this was something like alcohol, alarms would be raised), then what’s wrong with suggesting that said colleague bring in a personal slice for her own personal consumption?

Berklilly · 14/07/2023 02:28

@WhatTheFlipToDo I agree with you and it would be a very sensible suggestion to make to the management team.
I know via my work that a few NHS team we work with have taken that approach. They would get the treats out once a week only for instance, and the rest of the time it would be in a cupboard out of sight or not have any in the common kitchen.

But the majority of reactions you see in this thread turning the blaming on you and your lack of "willpower" is exactly why it's so hard to do if the rest of the team isn't on board. People in this country seem determined to ignore the last decade of scientific evidence of obesity to protect their right to eat crap...
I'd be careful in how you approach it, you could alienate quite a few colleagues.

Moredarkchocolateplease · 14/07/2023 03:04

OP i know what you mean
I used to work in a state school and there was a treat table in the office kitchen. But I have a 'no shop bought cake' policy in my head, because in general shop bought cake always leaves a nasty aftertaste in your mouth.

So I stick to my very dark chocolate, unless I'm having a super stressful day and then I have a couple of biscuits (again I don't like the chocolate ones, so I mean two digestives or rich teas).

You need develop a new rule. Only on Friday. Or only homemade on friday.

You'll soon be able to resist.

Moredarkchocolateplease · 14/07/2023 03:05

*Squares of very dark chocolate, that should have read.

DysonSpheres · 14/07/2023 03:10

Ribena used to be my favourite treat to drink. I used to particularly love it hot in wintertime.

They completely ruined the formula when the government sugar tax came in (I haven't touched it since) and it's because people like yourself have no ability to be moderate in your habits, so the government is asked to step in and legislate for everyone like we're all children.

It's ridiculous and I think you haven't even tried strategies to moderate your own behaviour but you expect everyone else at work to do without because you refuse to?

As an aside, what do you eat for breakfast?

ArcticSkewer · 14/07/2023 03:15

I hate offices with this kind of culture. If it's not too disruptive, I would consider leaving because you'll never change that culture alone.
It's rife in 'caring' professions where everyone is a feeder/cake pusher.

Jongleterre · 14/07/2023 03:36

Start bringing in healthy snacks and I bet you'll find others will join in and all the sugary crap can be replaced by fruit and carrot sticks etc.

picnicbasketandblanket · 14/07/2023 03:54

I agree, all these sugary treats at work are bad for you.

People are just in denial of how human psychology works to suggest otherwise.

Workplace culture shouldn't be actively encouraging bad health like this, I don't know why so many do.

WasJuliaRight · 14/07/2023 04:16

Bootsandbooks · 14/07/2023 01:59

OP I’m completely on your side here. I find it absurd that the culture in the UK is so blasé and relaxed about constantly snacking on these ridiculously unhealthy treats and having them constantly available, and I think offices should be a supportive environment for colleagues to live as healthily as possible (this is why offices invest in things like sit-stand desk and cycle to work schemes). The ultra-processed treats, baked goods and sweets like the ones you describe are designed by food manufacturers to be as addictive as possible, so please don’t blame yourself or a lack of willpower on your behalf. I think most people would also find it very difficult in a situation like that to resist!

People would be much more sympathetic if you were an alcoholic surrounded by booze, but to think about people day drinking is the office is absurd - despite the fact that all those junky, sugary, ultra-processed treats are, if not worse, at least as unhealthy and awful for your body as alcohol!

Some practical suggestions for you:

  1. is this a situation where you can work from home more to avoid the sweets?
  2. can you work in a different room/part of the office to where the treat table is located? Or at the very least, have your back turned to it and be away from it as far as possible so that you don’t have to see it constantly?
  3. can you suggest the treats be locked away in a cupboard/tin? Offices can have awful problems with mice of food is left out, so can you use that as an excuse to keep the food stowed away and further out of reach?
  4. can you suggest one day a week of themed cakes/home baking rather than just a constant supply of snacks, to make it feel more “special” and for the purposes of “driving office culture”?
  5. can you suggest that people switch to bringing in home-baked goods only from now on? That might reduce the amount of treats available, given that people would find it much more effort to constantly bake things like this, instead of buy them on the way in to work.
  6. most workplaces have some sort of healthy eating initiative, and if they don’t, can you start one? And suggest replacing the treats with fruit? Or would this be hugely unpopular?

….or don’t pick up the mini roll.

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