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AIBU?

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Original poster

Cakes and Treats at Work

494 replies

WhatTheFlipToDo · 14/07/2023 00:19

I have worked at my current work place for about a year. I have been consistently a size 12 in clothes for two decades yet I have put on over a stone in that time and size 14 clothes are getting tight. The only variable between this job and my last one is a permanently well stocked table of ‘treats’. So, biscuits, those little M&S tubs of cake bites, donuts, Rocky bars. You name it.

It is a job where you end up incredibly tired sometimes and I have little will power around chocolate at the best of times but when I'm tired it’s a million times worse. Essentially, I eat far more sweet things now due to this bloody table of junk food. Obviously, as I eat things I replace them but then I just eat them again. I don’t know what to do. I’d like to ask the team to save treats for an actual occasional treat but, simultaneously, if I’m the only one who has no will power, is it fair to request they adapt their behaviour for me?

I feel the views in this article sum up my own well. https://amp.theguardian.com/society/2023/jan/17/people-should-not-take-cakes-in-to-the-office-suggests-food-watchdog-chief

Am I being unreasonable to want the team to cut back on the treats so I don’t get even fatter or is this my problem to manage? Genuinely contemplating leaving as I just will not be able to manage my weight without a change in workplace culture.

People should not take cake into the office, suggests food watchdog chief | Health | The Guardian

Food Standards Agency chairwoman likened culture to passive smoking, and said offices should be a ‘supportive environment’

https://amp.theguardian.com/society/2023/jan/17/people-should-not-take-cakes-in-to-the-office-suggests-food-watchdog-chief

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 15/07/2023 13:27

This is a you problem, not an everybody else problem.

I get that it probably would be better all round if your workplace didn't have this culture, but it is what it is and you can't expect to dictate the terms for everyone else.

Moonlightdancing · 15/07/2023 13:33

I mean, i saw this post and i had to comment because i can't believe its actually real. You want to ask people not to bring treats because YOU have no self control???? So, stop everyone having a snack or a sweet treat because you cant stop yourself? Thats the most ridiculous thing i ever heard. Just dont eat it. You are not a child. I have no words...really..whats going on with people? And how much do you eat anyway? I mean you wouldnt gain that much weight from a sweet portion a day. I wouldn't want to work with you.

Moonlightdancing · 15/07/2023 13:50

Hyggesaurus · 14/07/2023 22:35

Would a salt&vinegar crisp do?

Show quote history

Only if you wash it with a fizzy drink😂😂😂

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 15/07/2023 14:08

This thread has now appeared on Facebook

Mirabai · 15/07/2023 14:58

TheKeatingFive · 15/07/2023 13:27

This is a you problem, not an everybody else problem.

I get that it probably would be better all round if your workplace didn't have this culture, but it is what it is and you can't expect to dictate the terms for everyone else.

I mean is it - given that the majority of the population is overweight?

That’s a most people problem.

DrSbaitso · 15/07/2023 15:36

Mirabai · 15/07/2023 14:58

I mean is it - given that the majority of the population is overweight?

That’s a most people problem.

Show quote history

All the more reason to accept that you'll have to do it without help and without expecting other people to change for you.

It's hard and this workplace makes it harder, but OP can't expect them to change this culture that clearly has a consensus. She has to find a way to control it herself.

Mirabai · 15/07/2023 15:44

DrSbaitso · 15/07/2023 15:36

All the more reason to accept that you'll have to do it without help and without expecting other people to change for you.

It's hard and this workplace makes it harder, but OP can't expect them to change this culture that clearly has a consensus. She has to find a way to control it herself.

Show quote history

What consensus? Others may have the same problem as OP.

I don’t need to change as I’m not overweight, but I can understand OP’s issue.
I also don’t think junk food is necessary in the workplace.

LolaSmiles · 15/07/2023 15:47

I mean is it - given that the majority of the population is overweight?
That’s a most people problem
It's an issue of ever growing portion sizes, increased highly processed foods, noticeable culture of endless snacking but without people adjusting their intakes elsewhere, poor understanding of nutrition, increased sedentary living, too many people who don't do exercise and people always looking for someone else to blame for their own decisions and choices.

Nobody forces anyone to eat from the office treats on a daily basis, let a long multiple times a day.

It takes a bit of agency to say "I'll have something today, but not tomorrow, or I'll have something this morning and that's it for the day". Why should my colleagues have to not have something nice on a Tuesday when they want something because I've decided I'm incapable of saying no?

DrSbaitso · 15/07/2023 15:52

Mirabai · 15/07/2023 15:44

What consensus? Others may have the same problem as OP.

I don’t need to change as I’m not overweight, but I can understand OP’s issue.
I also don’t think junk food is necessary in the workplace.

Show quote history

Well, as long as it continues then I'm assuming there are enough people keeping it going to show there's a consensus of acceptance. If people stopped bringing and eating the stuff, it would stop.

If enough people don't want it there, I guess they need to say something.

But until OP can find enough people to join her in asking for it to stop, it has to remain her problem. She can't expect it to stop just because she doesn't like it - to expect the others who all agree on it to change and remove it in order to make weight loss/maintenance easy for her.

Mirabai · 15/07/2023 15:52

noticeable culture of endless snacking

Well yeah, supported by this workplace provision of sugary snacks.

Why is everyone so invested in keeping the cookie table? Can you not cope without it?

BrainTumourGirl · 15/07/2023 15:54

There will be chocolate and biscuits available wherever you go. You need to take full responsibility for what you put in your mouth.

ringsaglitter · 15/07/2023 16:07

I'm actually on your side, I've had this problem before too. In other countries you're not allowed food around your desk - have to wait for your lunch break.

LolaSmiles · 15/07/2023 16:08

Well yeah, supported by this workplace provision of sugary snacks.

Why is everyone so invested in keeping the cookie table? Can you not cope without it?
But nobody is making anyone eat it!
That's the point.

Just because food is present doesn't mean I have to eat it.
Just because there's a box of biscuits doesn't mean I have to eat one.
If an adult can't make a coffee in a break room without eating whatever is in sight that's a them problem.

I can't imagine saying to my colleagues "actually I know people have the option of having biscuits or not, but I don't think any of you should have the option because unfortunately I'm incapable of seeing biscuits without shoveling a few in my mouth several times a day".
Or
"Hi everyone, I can't be in the presence of sugary treats without eating it so how about we only have sweet food available on days and frequencies that suit me.You might like having a brownie on a Wednesday when you get out from a site visit or after a weekly review meeting on a Tuesday, but I'm afraid my inability to say no means we should all only have them available on a Friday once a month".

Mirabai · 15/07/2023 16:18

But nobody is making anyone eat it!

No-one’s making anyone put it out either.

If an adult can’t get through the day without a doughnut that’s a “them problem”.

Willmafrockfit · 15/07/2023 16:18

when i first started working in 1985 there was NEVER all these biscuits and cakes available,
perhaps on the occasional friday.

Mirabai · 15/07/2023 16:26

Willmafrockfit · 15/07/2023 16:18

when i first started working in 1985 there was NEVER all these biscuits and cakes available,
perhaps on the occasional friday.

Quite.

DrSbaitso · 15/07/2023 16:27

Mirabai · 15/07/2023 16:18

But nobody is making anyone eat it!

No-one’s making anyone put it out either.

If an adult can’t get through the day without a doughnut that’s a “them problem”.

That's the point.

You need to be able to get through the day without a doughnut even if it's available for you. Because you can't control what other people do. You can only control what you do.

Mirabai · 15/07/2023 16:34

DrSbaitso · 15/07/2023 16:27

That's the point.

You need to be able to get through the day without a doughnut even if it's available for you. Because you can't control what other people do. You can only control what you do.

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I don’t eat doughnuts, but OP says she’s struggling, we know other people do so why not consider them? Take collective responsibility for the societal obesity crisis. I don’t need this stuff so I don’t see why anyone else does.

Peacoffee · 15/07/2023 16:40

How do all these people make it around a supermarket without seeing something junky and feeling pressured to eat it??

DrSbaitso · 15/07/2023 16:41

Mirabai · 15/07/2023 16:34

I don’t eat doughnuts, but OP says she’s struggling, we know other people do so why not consider them? Take collective responsibility for the societal obesity crisis. I don’t need this stuff so I don’t see why anyone else does.

Show quote history

I don’t need this stuff so I don’t see why anyone else does.

There comes a point, quite early on, where this line of reasoning falls down. Don't rely on it too much.

But anyway. I suppose OP can put in a request to ask people how they feel about stopping the permanent sweet station and if enough people want that, problem solved. But it's an existing institution, so it may be that a lot of them want to keep it. OP can't control that. She can only control herself.

What you're saying is that they objectively shouldn't have the sweet station. Maybe you're right, but you don't work there, so it's up to the people who do. They aren't obliged to stop it because one person doesn't trust herself not to overeat there, even if they objectively should.

OP can push to get rid of it, but she'd also do well to learn her own resistance techniques because at the end of the day, they aren't going to change the environment for her just because they perhaps objectively should. Temptation is everywhere.

BiancaBlank · 15/07/2023 16:42

No workplace needs a permanently available treat table! Nobody would have this at home. Presumably the op is not trying to prevent anyone bringing in their own personal chocolate/snacks to eat as desired.

Peacoffee · 15/07/2023 16:43

@Mirabai Take collective responsibility for the societal obesity crisis. I don’t need this stuff so I don’t see why anyone else does.

That’s ridiculous, why should I take any responsibility for someone else’s weight? By your own logic I don’t need to eat 5 biscuits I can stop at one, or I don’t need to eat a cake every day just because I can I just have one every now and then…I don’t see why everyone else can’t.

Peacoffee · 15/07/2023 16:44

BiancaBlank · 15/07/2023 16:42

No workplace needs a permanently available treat table! Nobody would have this at home. Presumably the op is not trying to prevent anyone bringing in their own personal chocolate/snacks to eat as desired.

Nobody would have it at home? Oh come on most people have biscuits in their cupboards.

MazzaMooza · 15/07/2023 16:47

You seriously cannot expect everyone else to miss out, just because you have no willpower, why not take some fruit to work or suggest some fruit on the “treat” table instead of all chocolate..

LolaSmiles · 15/07/2023 17:01

No-one’s making anyone put it out either.

If an adult can’t get through the day without a doughnut that’s a “them problem”.
Having it available doesn't equal eating it.

That's literally my point.

Nobody is making anyone eat a doughnut every day!

Just because it's there doesn't mean anyone is forced to eat it.

No workplace needs a permanently available treat table! Nobody would have this at home.
Actually I do have a snack cupboard and a biscuit tin and they're permanently available. Many people do because we're perfectly capable of having sweet food in moderation and taking responsibility for our own eating behaviours.