Cakes and Treats at Work

[WhatTheFlipToDo]

I have worked at my current work place for about a year. I have been consistently a size 12 in clothes for two decades yet I have put on over a stone in that time and size 14 clothes are getting tight. The only variable between this job and my last one is a permanently well stocked table of ‘treats’. So, biscuits, those little M&S tubs of cake bites, donuts, Rocky bars. You name it.

It is a job where you end up incredibly tired sometimes and I have little will power around chocolate at the best of times but when I'm tired it’s a million times worse. Essentially, I eat far more sweet things now due to this bloody table of junk food. Obviously, as I eat things I replace them but then I just eat them again. I don’t know what to do. I’d like to ask the team to save treats for an actual occasional treat but, simultaneously, if I’m the only one who has no will power, is it fair to request they adapt their behaviour for me?

I feel the views in this article sum up my own well. https://amp.theguardian.com/society/2023/jan/17/people-should-not-take-cakes-in-to-the-office-suggests-food-watchdog-chief

Am I being unreasonable to want the team to cut back on the treats so I don’t get even fatter or is this my problem to manage? Genuinely contemplating leaving as I just will not be able to manage my weight without a change in workplace culture.

I’d take the whole willpower thing with a pinch of salt. 60% of women in the UK are overweight or obese and MN seems fairly representative. By that figure 60% of posters’ willpower eludes them.

It’s inappropriate in a workplace.
I never have trouble saying no to sweet things- which is nothing to do with the fabled Mumsnet willpower, I have none when it comes to crisps- because I don’t have a sweet tooth and can’t eat chocolate as it’s my worst migraine trigger. But it’s tedious constantly having sweet things pushed at you and looking like a miserable sod for turning them down. This is one way our society is obesogenic - this situation means that the path of least resistance is to eat the sugar, which is insane in a culture where more people than not are overweight.
I would gently push at trying to change the culture and if that’s a no go consider a different job- doesn’t sound like you are particularly committed to this one.

Another thought OP - can you mentally say “that’s not mine, I’ve not contributed, so I’m not part of the sharing group.” ? If it’s in the kitchen, can you view it as the same as a colleague having brought in the most amazing lunch- even if you really wanted it, you wouldn’t eat someone else’s lunch, this isn’t yours.

Or bring in snacks /grazing foods for yourself, when you get the urge to eat something, you’ve got something to have.

I work somewhere with lots of treats and sweet things- I tell myself I can have sugar, but only sugar I’ve brought from home. Ideally in fruit form. I’ll make an exception for birthday cake for someone I work closely with. There are 8 members of the team I work with, 8 slices of cake over 12 months isn’t going to dramatically change my health.

set rules, reasonable ones, stick to them. Don’t set yourself up to fail by not bringing enough food from home for the day and making yourself have Will power when hungry.

Get some biscuit tins and ask them to keep them in there so it’s out of your line of sight.

You won’t be the only one who finds it hard.

Yeah most likely the posts agreeing with OP and think they should be able to control the eating patterns of others because they can’t say no.

Your will power is down to you and you only. When I am truly determined on a diet you could put anything in front me and I won’t eat it. However I have my bad days (months) too of course. Could you ask to be moved away from the table of food to help you. Could you start bringing in healthy snacks to add to the table?
ultimately though you and only you are responsible for what you eat

For some people it will be a mixture of will power, genes, preferences etc, upf food doesn't get every one

We had a feeder at an office I worked in pre-covid. It was pathological. The only saving grace for me was she used to often bring in things I don't like (I'm fussy).

Yanbu to wish that there wasn't daily temptation but you can't control what other people do, only what you do. As pp said, if you fill up on high protein good-for-you-food you won't be able to stuff all those sweet things. Have a good hearty breakfast, bring a big healthy lunch and nuts and veg sticks and fruit to snack on. Good luck.

we have a colleague that brings in strawberries,
far nicer than cakes and biscuits

I agree it should be inappropriate in the work place, but if the majority are happy with it, what can you do?

Be an adult and exercise some self control.

If you really, genuinely cared about not eating it, you wouldn’t eat it.

YABU

In your opinion, maybe. Not in mine.

I think having the treats in a location you need to specifically choose to visit might help (ie. Not by the kettle). You could make a plea for a change along this lines and if they move, NEVER go to the new treat box home. Draw a line under it. You clearly have issues moderating so a binary approach might work better; no treats at work ever.

Good luck!

In my last job, sweets and cakes etc were around quite a lot with birthdays every day it seemed.

I was always relieved if the birthday person brought in brownies and/or flapjacks as I don't like either so it was really easy to not eat them.

Fortunately, no one ever brought in custard tarts, those I can't resist ... 😋

I’ve also read the book and whilst I can see we don’t all start from the same place (ie some people will naturally find it easier to say no than others) I agree it’s wild to say you have no choice. If someone was holding a gun to your head you could put the cake back down. Like lots of things in life, some people have to work harder to achieve the same goal than others. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still put the effort in to get there if it’s important and very few things are as important as what you put in your mouth.

So you want other people to go without because you can’t say no to yourself @WhatTheFlipToDo ? Totally unreasonable, and I say this as a fatty with no willpower of my own. Your problem, if you want the treat more than you want to be a size 12 them’s the breaks..

fair enough

It's far more sustainable to teach yourself moderation around these things, than to expect they don't exist.

The UK has a serious obesity problem - it's not reasonable to have at work

a permanently well stocked table of ‘treats’. So, biscuits, those little M&S tubs of cake bites, donuts, Rocky bars. You name it.

It's all stuff that is ultra processed very high in sugar. An occasional birthday cake is nice but not available all day, every day.

All very well to talk about willpower but obviously as a nation we are sadly lacking in this. It's not the slippery slope to a Nanny State for employers to encourage/aid a healthy lifestyle.

I assume this is not a private company

Why does it have to be either/or?
There are some useful tips on this thread about how to make it easier to resist and obviously it ultimately the op does have the power and responsibility to make the choice for herself, but why does that mean we have to passively accept a workplace food culture that is harmful in a country with a serious obesity crisis, any more than we should accept workplaces that damage health in other ways?
Relying on willpower is not working. I am willing to bet there are large numbers of overweight people in the op’s workplace.

Sounds like a ‘you’ problem to me. Either exercise some self control or change jobs 🤷🏼‍♀️

The lack of empathy on here is astounding! It’s perfectly normal for sugar addicts to avoid having junk food in the house so that they can’t eat it. So it is a bit rubbish having it available at all times at work.

Would all the harsh mumsnetters say the same thing to an alcoholic if they said that they struggled to remain sober when there was a permanent supply of gin at work?

Is everyone else actually eating it? When I was in my twenties I’d take all my Christmas chocolate to work so that I wouldn’t eat them! Then I’d feel virtuous while everyone else ate them! (I was a bit of a twat.)

Cakes sweets and biscuits always appeared in our Office either due to holidays or just because....I only brought sweets and cakes after a holiday. I didn't provide them at other times so consequently didn't help myself to what others brought in. You need to just use a bit of will power not deprive other people.

@TwoFluffyDogsOnMyBed Christ 🤦‍♀️ Sugar addicts? 😂😂

And yes - I would say the same to an alchie. The “it’s an addiction! I can’t help it!” doesn’t wash with me.

Take some bloody responsibility and grow up.

It’s not the same because a cookie at work is hardly even a tiny bit comparable to having an alcoholic drink at work.

I had a similar situation at work, I love cakes and choc etc and never need to cut back. We were given a stocked staff room and free lunch every day with fridges and cupboards full of treats. I loved it, many did not and continously asked our office manager to remove the snacks. It's ridiculous. Learn to have some self control and let everyone else eat what they want!