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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend was a bit of an arsehole?

74 replies

ek20 · 13/07/2023 16:44

I'm not getting involved, just curious what other people think about this. Also details removed as potentially identifiable.

So I have a friend (we'll call her B) who is part of an activity group. They go away for weekends, do the activity, stay normally in a hostel/bunkhouse. Car-sharing is quite normal and this particular weekend B got a lift with another lady (we'll call her F). B doesn't drive. F has three young children and it was a logistical nightmare to organise getting away but she particularly wanted to do the activity on this weekend.

So on the first morning B manages to lock F's car keys in the car. B was warned not to do this and managed to do it anyway. F then had to wait for hours (in the middle of nowhere) for the RAC.

I asked B afterwards what they did for the day instead and it turns out B simply got a lift with somebody else and went on the activity anyway. Left F alone for the day. I was horrified but B can't see anything wrong with this. Just shrugged and said she couldn't do anything as it was F who needed to be there for the RAC. Said F was a bit cold with her on the drive home but B is mystified as to why.

Am I being unreasonable to think B should have waited with F, especially when B was responsible for locking the keys in the car? Just to add there is no financial penalty for either of them missing the activity, it's more the accommodation they all pay for.

OP posts:
SunshineLollipopsRainbow · 13/07/2023 16:46

Your friend is a selfish idiot

orangeleavesinautumn · 13/07/2023 16:46

If I was F I would have wanted B as far away from me as possible

Amispringy · 13/07/2023 16:47

I wouldn't be offering B a lift again

Selfish and rude

Icandothis1970 · 13/07/2023 16:48

Oo that's bad. I would have been mortified at having locked F's keys in car so would have definitely stayed with F until sorted. And B wonders why F was cold towards her?!?! If I was F, I doubt I'd have given B a lift back home after activity was done! CF!

PuppyMonkey · 13/07/2023 16:49

F was cold with B on the drive home? She actually gave her a lift home? Shock

TokyoSushi · 13/07/2023 16:51

Oh no! That's really bad!

Daffodildilys · 13/07/2023 16:51

If I was F I’d have made B walk home.

wholivesondrurylane · 13/07/2023 16:52

Said F was a bit cold with her on the drive home but B is mystified as to why.

F is a saint. B is unbelievably lucky. And a bitch, obviously.

LisaD1 · 13/07/2023 16:53

B is a class a twat. I wouldn’t have taken her home. Sure accidents happen but she had been told and to then just piss off is so rude.

Kingsparkle · 13/07/2023 16:54

Not sure I would have been so gracious as to take B home. The least B could do was keep F company whilst waiting for the RAC. Poor F!

Hadalifeonce · 13/07/2023 16:55

Appalling, I think I might have told B to arrange her own way home.

KarmaStar · 13/07/2023 16:57

B is a selfish Bitch and totally self absorbed.

Original poster
ek20 · 13/07/2023 17:04

Ok phew, your comments are coming in fast and I'm glad that I'm not going totally mad! I do tend to have a bit of a 'British' (self flagellation?) attitude, not sure how else to describe it. And I get on a totally logical front it seems useless both missing out. But I never would have been able to leave somebody like that if I had been responsible.

OP posts:
WildUnchartedWaters · 13/07/2023 17:06

B is a self absorbed buffoon.

Hibiscrubbed · 13/07/2023 17:31

B is a selfish twat. She’s lucky she got a lift home at all.

OhComeOnFFS · 13/07/2023 17:33

I agree with others - I wouldn't have given her a lift home.

AliceOlive · 13/07/2023 17:33

ek20 · 13/07/2023 17:04

Ok phew, your comments are coming in fast and I'm glad that I'm not going totally mad! I do tend to have a bit of a 'British' (self flagellation?) attitude, not sure how else to describe it. And I get on a totally logical front it seems useless both missing out. But I never would have been able to leave somebody like that if I had been responsible.

Then expecting a ride home!

Tinkerbyebye · 13/07/2023 17:43

B is awful and selfish, F is a saint, I wouldn’t have given B a lift home if she pissed off to do the activity when she locked the keys in the care after being told not to.

Op you need to tell B exactly why F was off with her and that as a minimum she owes F an apology

ArseMenagerie · 13/07/2023 17:44

B is a twat.

Original poster
ek20 · 13/07/2023 17:52

Tinkerbyebye · 13/07/2023 17:43

B is awful and selfish, F is a saint, I wouldn’t have given B a lift home if she pissed off to do the activity when she locked the keys in the care after being told not to.

Op you need to tell B exactly why F was off with her and that as a minimum she owes F an apology

Honestly I tried the other day after she told me. She genuinely thinks that she apologised at the time and that was that. Nothing more she could/should have done. Doesn't see why they should both have missed out when she couldn't really help.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 13/07/2023 17:55

'B' should be making her own way to and from events in future - and I'd say the same to 'F' who is indeed a saint.

You don't treat friends like this.

OhhhhhhhhBiscuits · 13/07/2023 17:57

B is a selfish, entitled cunt and I would never give her a lift or do anything for her again. Poor F.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 13/07/2023 18:00

She genuinely thinks that she apologised at the time and that was that. Nothing more she could/should have done

You know when there are threads on here where a child has accidentally broken something/hurt someone, and there's always hordes of folk saying apologies are not required when it's an accident?

This is how you end up with adults like this, who are completely oblivious as to why people are upset and frustrated with them.

YANBU.

latetothefisting · 13/07/2023 18:03

B should absolutely have waited with F, paid for any out of pocket expenses (is getting locked out covered by car insurance?), apologised sincerely and bought F a huge bouquet of flowers/nice bottle of wine/taken her out for a meal to say sorry.

Even if the fault had been Fs, if I was B I would have offered to wait with her given that she'd given me a lift rather than let a friend (and a woman on their own) wait around in the middle of nowhere for hours.

Thepeopleversuswork · 13/07/2023 18:04

That's really shit. Yes she was an arsehole of the highest order and no doubt F won't want to have anything to do with her in future.