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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To throw in the towel ... ?

3 replies

KeysUnlocked · 12/07/2023 21:11

Men... ConfusedSad

AIBU to just resign myself to the fact I will never meet anyone and have a relationship again?

Just turned 40, widow, 3 amazing DC but men, ugh.

A guy at work (not who works there but came in to fit stuff) took my number, seemed v keen, messaged a few times and then nothing Sad

I KEEP getting stuck at this stage, exchange numbers, few txts etc and then nothing Sad

Should I give up, seriously? I'd consider myself not too bad looking, look much younger than my age, good job, car, independent etc. Sad

Has anybody met their partner after 40?

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/07/2023 21:21

You have to kiss a lot of frogs and remember you only need one for it to work out with!

Think of dating as a night out in a nightclub when you were young. You might show interest in a few guys, think of all the men you exchange glances with, have a chat at the bar with or dance with or even snog/take home/agree to see again. It's probably 1 in about 200 of these micro interactions that results in a compatibile boyfriend and a relationship. Those little flirtations with men that you describe are similar to these. You just need to keep meeting people and not get obsessed with each one. Look at Matthew hussey on YouTube to stay calm and cool about this.

Original poster
KeysUnlocked · 12/07/2023 21:24

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/07/2023 21:21

You have to kiss a lot of frogs and remember you only need one for it to work out with!

Think of dating as a night out in a nightclub when you were young. You might show interest in a few guys, think of all the men you exchange glances with, have a chat at the bar with or dance with or even snog/take home/agree to see again. It's probably 1 in about 200 of these micro interactions that results in a compatibile boyfriend and a relationship. Those little flirtations with men that you describe are similar to these. You just need to keep meeting people and not get obsessed with each one. Look at Matthew hussey on YouTube to stay calm and cool about this.

Thank you 🙏 I will look him up now x

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/07/2023 21:24

Ps I say this as a single mum to a baby who was engaged to baby's dad last year and thought no more dating for me ever again. I know when I start dating again it will be harder with a baby, but the pro is that I will only go out with a good guy who loves kids isn't selfish and will be the kind of guy I want around my son being a role model- so I'll either be single or with a great guy. I'm very prepared to put in the effort of weeding through lots that it doesn't work out with first and aware it could take ten years or it could take 10 swipes before I meet my next bf - what I'm focusing on now is getting myself in the best shape imaginable so that I have extreme confidence when I do start dating?

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