To pay school for accidental damage

[Mumofboys2023]

my DS is 14 and today I have received a phone call from his head of year. They have viewed cctv of my DS lining up for class with his form group, another boy (apparently a friend “messing about”) has grabbed DS from behind and in response my DS has grabbed him back, the other child has then kicked out and smashed a glass panel in a door- accidentally. School have put DS in isolation and are asking myself and the other child’s parents to pay for any damage caused. AIBU to to state my son did not kick the door so should not pay for these damages or should I pay as he was involved in the incident? Should school not claim on their insurance?

I wouldn't pay in those circumstances

I think it should be split between the both of you.

I would pay half and then ask DS to make it up to me by paying me back or doing chores.

Whether it's fair or not wouldn't enter into it to me. If the school asked me to pay, I'd pay. I want to have a good relationship with my child's school.

If they claim on insurance it might make their premiums go up.

If it was a friend, split it.

If it wasnt a friend messing around I'd refuse to pay, challenge the isolation and raise as a potential incident of bullying and ask what action school will be taking to prevent it. CCTV doesn't protect a child.

To be clear, as it was a friend, I'd split the cost.

He shouldn’t have retaliated - they’re both responsible. I’d pay half but take some out of his pocket money if he has it.

So CCTV shows.yoir son being attacked, trying to defend himself and the attacker kicking out a pane of glass.. and now they are punishing him and want you to pay!!

They should be reviewing their health and safety.

Pay if you like but I'd be arguing about it myself

School should have insurance?

My ds was once assaulted via a brick thrown through a classroom window. School invoiced the lad's parents. Didn't even ask after ds. Nor did they administer any sort of first aid. Ds had multiple stitches in A&E. School didn't when give ds a cloth...
School have weird priorities ime.
Pay not a jot op.

They're both responsible. I would offer to pay half and make it a life lesson to your ds to keep his hands to himself and stop messing about.

What sort of glass panel is this in a door? I would be going back and suggesting their doors are not strong enough for a school environment and pointing out that they may pose a significant health and safety risk.

Schools have a budget for repairs, I suggest they use it.

Your son defended himself and has been asked to pay because the acts he was defending himself from resulted in a broken door?

No way would I pay.

They were both mucking about and therefore both are responsible.

However I would expect school insurance to pay.

I wouldn't pay for this. It wasn't your DS who kicked it, and presumably he didn't dare the other lad to do it or whatever.
"Friends mucking about" - did DS tell you that? It could be a cover for getting bullied and being too embarrassed or worried about being a grass to admit it. :(

The excess in the insurance means the school will have to pay for it.

Sounds like health and safety issue to me! A school has glass low enough to be smashed by one kick? I’d just pay half if they were fooling around but accidents happen when youngsters play. Horrible how schools treat kids with isolation though and not see how easily something like kids not out to cause trouble end up in such predicament. Understanding goes a long way to good communication in future.

I was worried about could it be bullying, but both the teacher said from watching the cctv and my son has admitted they were playing around- this is making me think my son should probably pay partly for the damages

@Dacadactyl

why? Her DS. Was just standing in line until the other kid pulled him about. Then a different kid kicked & broke the door. Why should the OP pay??

@Mumofboys2023 why on Earth was your DS put in isolation??

Have you seen the video?

He wasn't attacked 😂

This is fair. Pay up.

@fireflyloo

What???

DS was standing in line, minding his own business, some kid pulls him about, a different kid kicks & breaks the door!

why on Earth should the OP pay??

Two kids pissing around broke a window.

Fair to charge both of them.

If they were both mucking around (rather than it being bullying/attacking), I’d pay half (and expect DS to pay it back), even if he wasn’t the instigator.

Id also be having words with school about the safety of glass that can smash from an accidental kick.

@Nicetiesandwhatnot i have not seen the cctv. I was only contacted by the school today but this is something I was thinking of asking to see in order to ascertain if he is at fault- I can imagine them declining though due to DPA