To pay school for accidental damage

[Mumofboys2023]

my DS is 14 and today I have received a phone call from his head of year. They have viewed cctv of my DS lining up for class with his form group, another boy (apparently a friend “messing about”) has grabbed DS from behind and in response my DS has grabbed him back, the other child has then kicked out and smashed a glass panel in a door- accidentally. School have put DS in isolation and are asking myself and the other child’s parents to pay for any damage caused. AIBU to to state my son did not kick the door so should not pay for these damages or should I pay as he was involved in the incident? Should school not claim on their insurance?

Firstly, adult supervisors can't be everywhere. Secondly, I have seen kids do this in front of adults. Frequently.

I wouldn’t pay, particularly if the other child made the first move and grabbed from behind. Your son wouldn’t have known the friend was messing around simply that someone had grabbed him and he was defending h8mself

the other child’s parents should pay

@noblegiraffe I'm not sure all the posters are getting your humour here! "But the door...!"

"But the school duty of care..." (hence the rules, guys!)
"but they have insurance..." (and nothing better they could spend that money on?)
"But he started it!"
"why weren't they being supervised?"

Parents take responsibility to show their kids about taking responsibility for their actions. Don't join in with the messing about.

Both are responsible. Both should pay.

You can tell the posters who work in schools

FFS. I had two pairs of glasses destroyed by pupils (with severe and complex learning difficulties...it happens...not their fault). Even that wasn't covered by the school insurance.

It's the other kid who decided to kick the window through. Unless they were in some kind of chokehold it doesn't sound like your child is responsible.

I was teaching in a computer room today in which there are now not enough computers because a child was "just messing" at lunchtime and threw his water bottle at his mate, hitting and breaking a monitor beyond repair.

We used to lock computer rooms at lunch but so many parents complained that we backed down. We cannot afford to keep replacing things broken by "just messing".

Unless they were in some kind of chokehold

Entirely possible, given how these things usually go. Walk past a boy putting another boy in a headlock and tell them off "miss we're only messing".

So tedious.

Should defo pay half

You need to pay half. Show your son what it looks like to take responsibility.

How many times a day do we hear "miss I'm just messing" or "miss it's just banter" I wonder?
My mum always warned us it would end in tears, and it often does.

@SummerBunn

why should he 'take responsibility' for the mate that started messing about & why should either of the 'take responsibility' for the kid that accidentally kicked the door & broke it

& frankly why should the kids take responsibility for the school having non safety glass in a door that breaks with an accidental Kick??

the school is lucky none of them were hurt.

@SoSadForCav Even safety glass with crack so is broken but it doesn't shatter.

My guess is the cctv shows the reason why the school think they should pay up.
Can't believe why so many people won't support schools and their first instinct is to push back. Schools need parental help to enforce discipline .

Op, start with believing your son is likely to be at fault and work with the school see the footage

Maybe all the posters on here who say schools should have glass that doesn't break would like to fund it (schools will have some form of safety glass or safety film on windows, doesn't stop them breaking but stops them shattering and potential injuries). If you want ultra strengthened glass then someone needs to pay for that

There were TWO boys. Amazed how many people can't grasp that.

I was thinking about this, with some framing it as the boy “attacking” and the innocent DS involuntarily going into self-defence mode like some well-trained marine where teachers would recognise it as two boys throwing each other around the corridor as happens with tedious regularity.

you should not pay anything - they should have insurance for this.

Why didn’t a teacher throw themselves between the kid’s foot and the window?

Does duty of care not mean anything these days?

I know @noblegiraffe, completely slacking. Someone needs to go to the press, with sad face, and don't forget Ofsted