To pay school for accidental damage

[Mumofboys2023]

my DS is 14 and today I have received a phone call from his head of year. They have viewed cctv of my DS lining up for class with his form group, another boy (apparently a friend “messing about”) has grabbed DS from behind and in response my DS has grabbed him back, the other child has then kicked out and smashed a glass panel in a door- accidentally. School have put DS in isolation and are asking myself and the other child’s parents to pay for any damage caused. AIBU to to state my son did not kick the door so should not pay for these damages or should I pay as he was involved in the incident? Should school not claim on their insurance?

@YeCannaeChangeTheLawsOfPhysics

how is lining up with his form 'mucking about'??

the third boy kicked & broke the door - nothing to do with the OP's DS.

His behaviour was a significant factor in the accident. So yes, I'd pay up.

The school's insurance won't cover this. The only way for a school to have affordable insurance is for the excess to be large. The buildings insurance will be to cover things like floods and large scale damage. Not replacing a pane of glass.

I think you should ask for the footage. And also talk to your son once he is home. Before rushing to agreeing to pay I think you need the facts and not just the schools version of events .

What on earth was the school doing having glass at low level that was breakable with a kick? Surely it should have been safety glass for this very reason.

@noblegiraffe

it was another kid who kicked & broke the door. Why isn't he paying?

more importantly, why does the school have single lane glass in a door?

Looking at it from the other side, if my child had kicked the glass and broken it, i would expect to pay- particularly as my child started the fooling around.

If not, what's it saying to the other child- you can start something, kick and break glass (even accidently) but you dont have to pay?

It was the initial boy that kicked the door, SosadforCav

Consequences have actions. They are both responsible and I would pay half if it was my DC

Where on earth are people getting the idea schools can afford insurance policies that cover 'accidental' damage! They can barely afford electricity. It'll be bare minimum buildings insurance only, no accidental cover whatsoever, would cover the pipes bursting or roof having something like a tree fall on it or from a plane.

No harm in asking if the schools insurance will cover this. The teacher may have to look into it but many schools are members of the RPA (Risk Protection Arrangement).
The RPA covered in full when children smashed a window with a football at the school I work at. Parents were initially asked to cover it but the teacher only looked into insurance once the parent queried this.

The responses here make me wonder how many people have any idea what teenage boys are like. Jumping straight to "it's an attack" etc.

In my experience if you have more than one teenage boy in a space for 15+ minutes with nothing going on there's going to be some sort of ruck.

My memories of school are that lining up outside classrooms always had some level of mucking around, shoving etc.

@SoSadForCav

The OP says

both the teacher said from watching the cctv and my son has admitted they were playing around

This is a ridiculous comment. Schools aren't institutions that require strengthened glass. People of ALL ages should be able to act responsibly and not break things. And, when things are broken, it's because something happened.

Split the bill. Both kids messing about, both get punished. Take it from his pocket money/don't give him any for a while. If he doesn't get pocket money, don't buy him treats for a while!

I would want to see the footage for myself before agreeing to pay anything.

I was on a school ski trip as a helper and a kid threw a frisbee through an internal glass door. Accidentally but shouldn't have been doing it.

The school got invoices by the hotel and the school invoices the parents.

You should both pay half.

As I read it, there was no third boy involved, it was just the two of them.

There is no “third kid”. The OP’s DS grabbed the kid back and he broke the window.

These sorts of corridor tussles between boys are common, fucking annoying, and they are both at fault. Both should pay.

I would first speak to ds for his version of events and whether he thought he was equally at fault.

If he agreed he was I'd pay. If not, I'd want to see the footage before agreeing.

I have a lot of respect for many teachers but I don't think they're some kind of magical class of people who are incapable of mistakes or bias. So I'd want to check myself. If they declined my request, I'd politely decline to pay.

I wouldn’t be paying tbh.

A child grabbed my child from behind, they automatically react by grabbing back. That child smashed a window. It’s a that child’s parents issue.

Also I’d be wanting to know how the hell a quick kick broke what should be heavy duty safety glass tbh.

If the door was broken during a mates mucking around tussle, then they are both responsible, regardless of who's leg went through the glass.

If the door was broken because your son was attacked, and he acted in self defence because he genuinely feared that he was in danger/at risk of harm, then it's a different situation, and worth raising (for far bigger reasons than the glass - Police involvement would be needed etc too if a child was really being viciously attacked to the point he feared real physical harm and he felt he had to counter attack physically in self defence).

I strongly suspect its the former though - so yes, pay half. If the roles had been reversed between your son and his mate, I expect you'd want them to pay half.

What does your DS think, he is old enough to think about consequences?

I’d ask to see cctv then decide.
I’d also ask if it’s a like for like replacement, a glass panel door that breaks with a kick probably can’t be fitted these days for safety reasons so a replacement may be expensive.

Years ago when my son was at school he leapt in the air and touched the ceiling with his hand. He dislodged a small piece of plaster which fell to the floor of the elderly, soon to be demolished school building.
Head master informed me he would have to pay for the damage. I responded that they should pay my son as he has helped with the demolition.
Never heard from them again 🤣🤣🤣

If the door didn't have strengthen glass it should have had a covering of some sort on the glass