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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off and infuriated with DP this morning?

70 replies

OneLittleFinger · 12/07/2023 07:10

Having a particularly tough week at work this week. It's only the one week, but I know I'm going to be stuck in a room with non-stop screaming kids for 8 hours.

Last night I cooked dinner. Thai curry for us and pesto pasta for dd. I'm fed up with pasta and so went to the effort of making p8a curry, with leftovers of both so all I have to do is throw it in bowls tonight and m8crowave. I left then out for dp to choose what he wanted last night.

Wake up this morning to find it all thrown in one pot, making the whole thing inedible. I am crying. Am shattered and have a long day ahead and know I'm going to have to think about dinner. As usual. Whilst he's hungover in bed, won't emerge til half 8 and as soon as work is over will start drinking again with his mates, whilst I have to entertain dd until she goes to bed and won't be able to.relax until probably 9 tonight, if not later.

(Yes, I know the answer to the question is "Because he was drunk," it was rhetorical. He's don't manynshitty things whilst in such a state but this is the hair that broke the camel's back.)

OP posts:
CheshireCats · 12/07/2023 07:11

Ltb

Pawpatrolsucks · 12/07/2023 07:12

I think you should make toast for dinner. Stuff cooking.

NerrSnerr · 12/07/2023 07:13

He can make dinner tonight then.

cushioncovers · 12/07/2023 07:14

His drinking is the real problem op. How often does he stay out drinking?

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 12/07/2023 07:14

From the sounds of it this is just how it is so you will just have to crack on tonight and do it all over again. Just leave one dish out so he can't mix it.

Jigslaw · 12/07/2023 07:15

I'd find it hugely appealing if my DH was drunk on a Tuesday night and did this. Does he drink every night?

RichardsGear · 12/07/2023 07:15

Do an omelette for you and dd and fuck him. When you're less knackered start a discussion about the shit way things are.

SavedbytheBe11 · 12/07/2023 07:17

Can he not sort dinner? Is he an alcoholic? If so, leave.

FinallyHere · 12/07/2023 07:17

RichardsGear · 12/07/2023 07:15

Do an omelette for you and dd and fuck him. When you're less knackered start a discussion about the shit way things are.

This

Do you have anywhere else to go for a break from his drinking ?

frazzledasarock · 12/07/2023 07:20

Do something easy for you and dd tonight. Omelette oven pizza anything that’s quick and easy for you.

and I would honestly LTB.

WilkinsonM · 12/07/2023 07:23

Why are you putting up with living with this drunk useless twat?

loverofbono · 12/07/2023 07:23

Is it usual for him to drink so much on a Tuesday evening? And you're expecting him to do the same tonight? I honestly couldn't live with that. Beans on toast for dinner tonight. And LTB.

burntshortbread · 12/07/2023 07:26

You have far bigger problems than dinner.
He sounds like an absolute dead weight. Just make something simple for you and dc. Have a serious think about whether you, and they, would be better off without him.

SunRainStorm · 12/07/2023 07:26

He sounds like he's an alcoholic.

Dinner is the least of your problems.

Can you access support through AA or similar?

rainbowstardrops · 12/07/2023 07:28

I'd be seriously losing my shit with him and I wouldn't be doing a single thing for him.

Nordicrain · 12/07/2023 07:28

So he goes out drinking every night? When do you see him?

I would leave, it doesnt' seem like he adds anything to your life?

Fatat40 · 12/07/2023 07:28

Go to M&S or out for dinner.

Reflect on why a man who gets so drunk so regularly is your choice of life party

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 12/07/2023 07:30

Get yourself a nice ready meal for tonight and he can sort himself out

Babsexxx · 12/07/2023 07:30

What a silly c*! I’d be livid how pissed was he exactly?! Fool! He must’ve bin pretty hammered to put a pasta dish and a curry dish together! I’d be readdressing the entire relationship tbh with him permanently being pissed or at work? What does he bring to you!?

And fwiw I’m very all for people having a glass of wine or beer after work but someone permanently pissed around me would be a massive problem.

caffelattetogo · 12/07/2023 07:32

Why are you living with this man?

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 12/07/2023 07:33

What a depressing existence, OP. Kick him the fuck to the kerb. You're not even married - don't let him drag you down.

Xrays · 12/07/2023 07:35

Honestly don’t make anything fancy for dinner if you’ve had a long day- beans on toast or even an egg sandwich or whatever is fine. But that’s not the point - he’s an arsehole. Your life would be better without him surely?!

StopMindlesslyScrolling · 12/07/2023 07:36

This man isn't acting like an equal partner in your relationship or in parenting your child, so why are you letting him be your "partner" in life?

The sooner you leave him, the sooner your life will improve.

Cinnamope · 12/07/2023 07:40

He needs to shape up or leave I’m afraid

BogRollBOGOF · 12/07/2023 07:41

He's sounding like a problem/ selfish/ habitual/ alcoholic drinker who adds little to your life other than problems.
Is this the path where you want your life to be and continue on?

This type rarely changes because they don't want to. There's nothing in it for them to grow up, dry out and become responsible, functional adults. So what choices do you need to make in the long run.

In the short term, do something easy for you and DD tonight. Let him sort out his own food.