I've been thinking about this, @Bobski123, in the context of Transactional Analysis which was mentioned in the article I linked above.
We all have life scripts, or core beliefs about ourselves. These can colour our interactions with other people. Once we notice what our 'scripts' and beliefs are, we can look at ways of changing any that seem to be a little too rigid, causing our interactions to go wrong in the same sort of way.
Hoping you're with me so far: you've said people 'always' seem to be bossing you around, and you think there 'must be' something about you that invites overbearing behaviour. This is clearly one of your life scripts: I'm always getting bossed around; and a core belief about yourself: I give off the air of a compliant subordinate.
Well done for making this post! It shows you've started thinking about this script, even if you didn't have the language to describe it at first, and it means you're on the way to changing what's unhelpful about it.
A Transactional Analyst would suggest that your colleague's got a script that goes something like: I always have to tell others what to do. She is in what TA calls Parent Mode. Perhaps, somewhere inside, she feels like the world will collapse if she ever fails to direct other people. Parents often have to direct children so they don't kill themselves or someone else: Don't eat the food in the bin; don't touch the knives; wait for me on the kerb, etc, etc. Some people get stuck in Parent Mode a lot of the time.
The reason these exchanges piss you off so much is that you're going into Child Mode. Like the kid who already knows to wait at the kerb, part of you might be going 'Stop giving me instructions! Look, I am waiting! Not fair.'
An actual child might get very stroppy at this point. You aren't that stuck in Child Mode, but something interesting's happening here. Every time a Parent triggers your Child, it's setting off a chain reaction with your core belief: Look, it's happening again! People are always telling me what to do! It's so unfair!
No surprise, this reinforces your core belief and so you keep playing out the same script.
OK, so what to do? There's a whole bunch of options. You could Parent back to the Parent (will cause arguments, even if you 'win' many of them). You could go full Child and either throw a strop or meekly submit. And there are several more Adult approaches, many of which have been suggested already.
What do you think?