Being bossed around by colleagues

[Bobski123]

It's happened to me a couple of times and I've realised I'm some sort of easy target, but I need to stop it happening. Would be interested in hearing any tips.
I'm a very non confrontational person and find it hard, but for instance yesterday it happened again, from somebody who isn't my superior, and I've been there for 2 years versus her 2 months.
She tried to do it again and I said in a non-threatening way 'That's ok, I know what to do, I've been here 2 years now haven't I?' to our client.
She just said 'ok'.
I try to do the same back, not in a rude way but I'll try to ask them to do things in the same way they're asking me.
It's not that they're simply asking me for help. It's stating obvious things as if I have no idea what to do or have never done them before.
Like we will arrive at client Xs house and she will say, "You can start to undress Mrs Smith."
Well obviously, that's the whole point of us being here.
Or, she will say to me "Did you make sure that Mr S had all his medication.?"
No, I thought I just wouldn't give him any tonight.
It's like every shift is your first.
I'm really not comfortable with bossing people around.
But I've figured it must be something in my personality or body language that gives off an easy target vibe. A lot of people seem to wish they were management when they aren't and think they can practice on colleagues.
It's making me want to move further and further away from people.
Would really appreciate any tips in this situation.

I would say “I know my routine backwards thanks, how are you holding up? are you getting the hang of things? Just give me a shout if you need help!”

I think this is a good idea. Maybe say it when travelling between clients, so there's not awkwardness when you're entering someone's home.

Don't challenge her in front of them. That's not fair.

Is your natural pace slower than theirs? If you pause by a door, or pause before undressing a client, they may be instintively prompting you because time is in short supply if you are carers.

Just a guess. I know some carers who are super almost hyper speedy and efficient and others who are very slow paced and calm. Put them together and there is a bit of friction.

This is at least the third time you have posted about this particular issue, if I recall you actually said you were leaving the company in two months?

Thanks, I'm just going to talk to management if it continues because what I'm doing isn't working.
I don't think my pace is slower from what I've seen, if anything hers is a little. Yesterday she was choosing a top for somebody and the client kept saying 'just choose any I'm really not bothered?' but she took almost 10 minutes looking at every single top, not caring that it was making me or the client wait. I should've said something then, but she just said to the client 'But I just want you to look gooood!' it's nice but the client didn't have any preference, she asked for any top as she wasn't bothered, the colleague was just wasting time.

This is not the 3rd time, and I'm asking as unfortunately my previous advice hasn't worked yet, so I'm looking at what else I can do.

But you’ve said it’s happened a few times with different people, and you feel like you’re an easy target.

If you speak to management every time with each person they might come to the conclusion it’s not an issue with them but you?

Are you slower than everyone else?
That could be a reason for it, they're trying to rush you along.

Are you proactive?

Sorry this is happening to you.

I tend to say, in a mild manner, "I'm aware" or even "thank you" or something similar and it tends to stop people doing this. She might think she is being incredibly helpful rather than attempting to undermine you. Some people are just really bossy and the last thing you want to do is get into a battle around this as you will also end up looking ridiculous.

It's not in the same job, this was in previous companies.
I am not slower than anyone, I finish on time.

I agree. I think you're really overthinking this. Just relax a bit and get on with the job.

This would annoy me massively and I'm afraid I would have told her where ro get of by now.
Can you ask your manager if you can pair up with a different staff member?

If you think she would pick up on subtle messages and you want to avoid confrontation, then liberal use of one words is an option.
”Indeed”
”Quite”
”For sure”

You could try the humorous route if you could pull it off: “nah I’ll hammer down the door instead; aren’t you hilarious?”

Failing that talk to your manager about how condescending she is.

@Bobski123 I thought maybe you meant telling you to do their work etc.

It does sound annoying I definitely agree, I have worked as a carer and you get into a routine with regular clients and all the little things like where to put stuff, chair positions, curtains/blinds up down , open or closed just becomes automatic. You don't need a newbie stating the obvious.

However she sounds odd telling you to take the key out! If she is really stating the obvious I would just ignore her, she will soon get a reputation for this. the risk of going to your manager is that, especially if you are a quiet get on with it person (im the same) is that you will end up with the reputation .

When she says stuff just inwardly roll your eyes and carry on what you were doing anyway. You know what you are doing and for some reason she feels the need to prove herself, stand back and let her crack on.

Another q - could she be intellectually challenged and this verbal running order is keeping it straight in her head?

I only mention it as a relative of mine - also a carer by profession- once walked me through paying my bills in huge detail, something I’d been doing for years at that point!! She didn’t pick up that it was a) unneeded and b) boring!

Sounds a bit defensive also.

Maybe I'm a 'pain' to work with,but at least I can spell :)

Yep, well observed, I do defend myself :)

But she is just asking not a questions so don’t see the problem, you will probably find that if you was to say no you haven’t she will do it to help out/do her job. She is just checking if the jobs done or if she should do it. I don’t see what’s wrong with her asking, surly you need communication in a two person job.

OP, sorry you are in this situation. Have you tried giving them an instruction before they give you (i.e. to start undressing the client, bring water etc), then they might get a hint, feel what you feel and hopefully stop doing that? Basically, treat them exactly or worse as they treat you, not better.

Have no idea why my comment has been deleted, but I stand by it. And my spelling mistake (because if that's your response, I'm starting to see the bigger picture).

Nothing wrong with what is being asked and sounds like you don't co-work well.

Your comment was deleted because you were rude for no reason. The end :) see you

Disagree, but I'm happy to acknowledge that adults have tantrums when they don't get their own way.

No. You were rude and nasty for no reason. You were called out and you don't like it. Grow up.

Oh deary me. Good luck with your issue. I suspect it'll follow you.