To look into rehoming my cats

[Mummypigisalwaysright]

Ok so please read before judging!

We have two cats that are 14 years old this year, we had them before we had children and we do really love them.

DS7 is autistic, he has limited verbal skills but communicates effectively using learnt/repetitive words and phrases. He has an official diagnosis and attends a sen school.

Over the past three/four months he has become completely adverse to the presence of the cats in the house. This means that the cats are outside permanently and we feed them outside. If they come in the house he chases them out and will scream and cry (actual tears/sad crying) if he can't get them out. He will also not go outside. We have a lovely garden that I would love to take him out in but he simply refuses and melts down. Also I can't have the back door open even two minutes, my son will come and shut it.

The situation is becoming stressful as I don't want my cats to spend winter nighttime outside, I think that's not fair on them, particularly as they are used to coming inside. It's not so bad in summer, but snowy and icy weather, not great.

So I'm thinking of rehoming them, or failing that take them to a shelter. The current situation is just not good for anyone and I don't know if there is anything else I can do.

AIBU? Any advice or tips?

honestly - I used to support someone to volunteer at our shelter. I was an enabler ad went with them to the rescue centre every week for 2 years - your cats will more than likely be PTS 😢

is there anywhere in the house that the cars can be, but that DS doesn’t go.
eg, get comfy beds for the kitchen, or your bedroom or something He doesn’t have to be there but he cannot chase them.

Unpleasant.

Hardly "batshit" to be considering strategies for the welfare of animals where the OP has undertaken a commitment.

Would it be feasible to build a catio? Or an outdoor building for them with warmth and shelter. If not, definitely contact a local rescue. It's not a sustainable situation. I feel for you but I do feels sorry for the cats. At 14, they are elderly and it's all they've known.

Hi , I have two dc with autism and I understand how impossible this is , sadly I think that as both cats are 14 , maybe pts is the best option, although I appreciate this will be heartbreaking.

I hope you saw this post, @Mummypigisalwaysright .

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it sounds to me like you just don’t want the hassle of the cat/your son combo any longer and aren’t willing to put in the work. There are huge periods of time when your son isn’t even around - school/sleeping, where the cat should have free roam of its home, and comparatively few waking hours, many of which the cat will spend sleeping.

He clearly didn’t develop an intolerable aversion to them overnight, so you’ve had 7yrs to teach gentle behaviour or to at least ignore. Unkind behaviour towards animals needs correcting every single time.

No child should be allowed to chase animals and you should stop your son doing it. I do understand how challenging life with ASD children can be, I’m solo raising 2 ASD boys (and an elderly cat) myself. But there are still boundaries that need to be enforced and this is one of them.

If you’re not going to change your son’s behaviour towards the cat, it would be kinder to let him see out his final days with someone else, but you owe it to the cat to find him a good home.

I was thinking that at their age they'd be very unsettled if they were rehomed, but they're probably unsettled anyway because they can feel the rejection. Your son screams at them and you keep shutting them out. It's a big change to their lives and they must be confused.

If you do decide to rehome them please pm me with your location. Like a PP I would take them on. We have no other pets in the house, a big garden, the kids are at university and the whole family loves cats.

Ah yes it's so batshit to not treat animals as disposable toys and be responsible.

I hope you don't have pets.

The reality is that even if you can find a rescue space, finding a home for two bonding 14yo cats is going to be almost impossible. We have senior cats in our local rescue who have been there since before COVID.

Personally I would build them a heated/insulted shelter outside for during the day, and have them in the house while DS is out and in bed. Or you could have a room for the cats where DS isn't allowed in? We've only got a small house but we've managed to separate it up so the cats have their own space away from the dog - it's a pain but it's certainly possible.

Yes a local rescue in my area say that they are having to turn away 50 cats a week because there are so many living on the streets.

People who think that rescues have unlimited capacity to rehome their unwanted pets are deluded. Many will have long waiting lists.

Sadly there are many, many more cats that need rehoming than there are people wanting to rehome.

Surely this is only an issue for a few hours a day. The cats can be in when he's at school, and when he's in bed. For the rest if the time, they could either be confined to specific rooms or kept outside (with heated shelter).