To think reading to pre school aged dc isn’t that important

[TeenLifeMum]

I was led to believe that reading was the most important thing (I love reading and my job involves writing in different styles for different audiences so I’m not anti reading). Dd1 would sit for hours looking at books. Dd2 would only engage in a book it it had pop ups or something tactile. As she got a bit older we tried introducing reading before bed and she wasn’t interested. By age 8 she saw reading as a punishment.

She’s currently predicted a 9 at gcse. Dd1 (the one who reads at every opportunity) is predicted an 8.

I’m not saying don’t read to dc but I’m saying, to anyone with young dc struggling to be the perfect mum… chill. Love them, have fun with them and let them be them.

One of my kids massively preferred reference , recipes and books at the preschool age. Let's of kids atleses and encyclopaedias and the like. Then joke books. Later it was ninjago magazines and pokemon books.

Reading with your kids doesn't have to mean stories and it can be active - following recipes and instructions. Looking at pictures in atlases. Let's face it Biff, Chip and Kipper are pretty dull, although they're are better kids books available these days.

Reading isn't just about books. I read 3 little pigs to mine and then followed it up with a masterpiece (I think) of a story which I made up. '3 little pigs and Kevin McCloud.' Just telling that story elicited responses about how it was similar to the previous book. Literacy isn't just physical books, it's the talking and the articulation of ideas. I am a teacher and nothing brings more satisfaction than a previously reluctant reader being engrossed by a new story.

Ooh, YABVU.
Reading with your child not only supports reading skills and academic development, but also, and more importantly, promoting and ensuring emotional development through:
A sense of togetherness,
A sense of well-being and safety - which will be more accessible throughout life,
Benefitting from your closeness, your voice, your heartbeat,
Sharing and enjoying together,
Learning other skills and benefits alongside ie the joy of taking turns to say words or turn pages, to get things right, to notice and experience the benefits of finding rhythm in the reading, rhyming words and sounds, onomatopoeia, just the stories! Please don't encourage parents not to bother reading with their child! I'm sure your DC did benefit from any time you did spent reading with them. And your experience of their academic development as a whole is not enough to justify your post 😔

Most children enjoy all those things. OPs DD2 did not. OP doesn’t have to justify her post to say her DD has done really well academically despite this aversion. It might reassure some other parents with similar small children.

I don't think that either of the activities you have described (looking at books for hours or only engaging with pop ups) has much to do with being READ TO, which is mostly an aural activity even with a picture book.

That's the part that's very important, I think. We have so many opportunities through screens to learn by looking and very few to learn through hearing. My DC find it far harder to memorise a short poem or lines for assembly than people of my generation did, and I think it's important to practise that. Not least because some of us get to the point in middle age where our eyesight is poor and audiobooks can be a great pleasure.

But the OP didn't make a reassuring post for parents of children who are like her dc2, she made a sweeping statement that reading to preschool dc isn't that important.
Which is both inaccurate and unhelpful.

It's incredibly important.

In fact most of a child's life chances are set for them in the first 1,000 days of life. Things like reading for widened vocabulary and understanding how language works is a huge part of that.

YABU.

I think it is well documented that being read to is as important as the child reading themselves. Sounds like you have done that even though your DC were interested in different types of books.

I will never forget DD's teacher saying to me that teachers can just tell the children that have been read to from a young age.

When DC were little snuggling up and reading was (and still is when we have time due to clubs) my favourite time of day. Both love to read and I feel it's such an important thing to nurture, it opens up whole new worlds.

YANBU

My 2 DS's were read to when they were little but have grown up to be fairly disinterested in reading.

There seems to be rather an obsession about reading at especially primary school and IMO there are so many other things for children to do if they are not particularly interested in reading.

Obviously they are able to read and DS1 passed both English papers at GCSE with DS2 predicted to do the same.

@Esmereldapawpatrol I will never forget DD's teacher saying to me that teachers can just tell the children that have been read to from a young age.

That is the thing though, you wouldn’t look at dd1 and dd2 and be able to identify dd2 hasn’t read much. She has a photographic memory and absorbs information from museums, theatre performances and TV (horrible histories has featured heavily) but not books. I guess I should really say that reading skills come in many forms and it’s more important to know your dc and work to their interests than sit and read. Even then, many posters are saying I should have sat and read and that dd2 works have liked that… I tried, she didn’t, yet I’m not believed.

Oh and as I said - I loved snuggling and reading with dd1 - totally get that, but it’s not the same with a dc who doesn’t want to. That idyllic picture becomes a source of upset because it was not achievable.

DD1 got amazing GCSE and A Level results. I put down a lot of her success to love of reading. Obviously it's not the mountain to die on but IMHO it is worth putting effort into fostering a love of reading from birth onwards.

DS2 doesn’t like to read and though I tried many many books his spelling and vocabulary is nowhere near as good as his brothers who loved reading . Neither of them are predicted high grades for English (6 I think ) ( they are very science/ maths kids ) . Would have been a whole lot worse if I’d not kept trying !

I literally don't know what I would have done to fill the time with a small child if I didn't read to them regularly.

This feels like such a ego-boasting post.

Reading is more than just a grade. It's bonding with your child. It's about using your imagination. It's an activity to keep busy. It's an opportunity for quiet time. It can develop into a passion.

We read two books to our son every night and have done since he was about 8 months old. It's part of his bed time routine and he loves it.

I read to all my three every night before bed - the eldest was an avid reader of fiction until he went to high school then only read when he had to during English. He never reads now. Middle child preferred factual books to fiction, never read during his teens but now an avid reader of all sorts of books in his 20s. Youngest really struggled with reading, possibly dyslexic but never tested - refused to get tested when older - would only read books about ponies until well into high school. Now an avid reader of all sorts of romance and detective stories.

They are all so different - the reading together gave us a bond that their dad never had - he wouldn't read to them as it was a waste of his time apparently.

Forcing children to read is entirely different to not reading to them. Reading to babies and children is a key feature of language development and many other things. As I'm sure you know...

It's not just about the reading - it's the shared time between you and your child, the shared jokes and cultural side of the whole experience. You can read a story to a child at a much higher level than they can read themselves.

My DD and I still have the occasional snigger at the stories we read together - about little owls falling off their perches, penguins being 3 years old and interminable Peter Pan books. Please don't regret the time you spent with your children

@Dinoswearunderpants there’s no ego involved. I worried and stressed that compared to dd1, dd2’s aversion to books meant I was failing her. Now I realise that stress was unnecessary. I regularly felt like such a failure letting my younger dc down and would try to read with them but dd2 made it a battle. No lovely snuggly reading cuddles like described here. (I had that with dd1)

no idea why you think I’m boasting I just don’t think sitting with a book is the single most important thing and for some dc it’s doesn’t work (although many posters think I’m lying.)

It’s more than the reading, if that makes sense. It’s that quiet, relaxing time spent with a small child be it at bedtime or on the sofa with a beer after neighbours.

Brew, not beer.

My mum was a teacher and always said the most important thing parents could do to help their children, was to read to and with them.
My loved reading is bedtime stories. It's his favourite memories of our childhoods.

Reading to a child every day is very important

This can help, but this isn't enough to make someone love reading. As you've seen just from the OP, you can do the same for another child but it doesn't make them an avid reader. I have two DC, read to both from a very young age, but only one is a bookworm now. It's personality type too.

It's still highly likely to have improved early language development compared to if you hadn't done it.