To think reading to pre school aged dc isn’t that important

[TeenLifeMum]

I was led to believe that reading was the most important thing (I love reading and my job involves writing in different styles for different audiences so I’m not anti reading). Dd1 would sit for hours looking at books. Dd2 would only engage in a book it it had pop ups or something tactile. As she got a bit older we tried introducing reading before bed and she wasn’t interested. By age 8 she saw reading as a punishment.

She’s currently predicted a 9 at gcse. Dd1 (the one who reads at every opportunity) is predicted an 8.

I’m not saying don’t read to dc but I’m saying, to anyone with young dc struggling to be the perfect mum… chill. Love them, have fun with them and let them be them.

FFS
Fat fingers! YABVVVU

Reading to children isn't just about learning to read. It exposes them to complex vocabulary, sentence structure and different styles if language. Audio books, comics, non-fiction books are all valid ways to enjoy reading and influence and improve children's writing too.

Reading aside- being able to sit and listen to a story from a young age is a great skill to develop in young children. As a teacher I am yet to meet a child who doesn't enjoy being read to.

@Blackbyrd you could have tried to explain that to dd2 when she was age 2-10 because she really didn’t see it that way. I’ve explained I did this with dd1 so I’m not anti reading… dd2 was and I stopped fighting it and stopped letting the peer pressure get to me and I’m happy I did. I have a confident, articulate daughter.

OP

It really shouldn’t be this hard to understand that an evidence base of numerous generations of population level data on attainment, enjoyment, and an array of benefits does not get even close to wiped out by your anecdote of 1.

it’s embarrassing really. Please think? It’s like saying “Me Nan never ate a single veg and smoked like a chimney and never got cancer and died happy ay 117, so… just don’t stress lol about vegetables or cigarettes”.

This

Getting a 9 at GCSE is not the sole reason reading to children early is recommended.

It's not the end of the world if they refuse.

But it is important.

@LWTW i wish I could remember where dd2’s primary reports are because her teachers noted it. Why is it so hard to read a mum saying her dc hated being read to and you assume I’m lying. I have 3 dc and they are all very very different.

No it’s not a fluke. She liked books that involved some kind of activity. She built vocabulary by talking and listening. She’s obviously bright and had no difficulty learning to read at school. But the fiction for pleasure thing just wasn’t for her!

But you did read to both your daughters when they were pre-school age so how can you say it's not important? Maybe if you hadn't read to your youngest when she was a toddler she wouldn't be predicted a 9 now, who knows?

We didn’t not read and then do nothing to fill that gap. We visited museums, went to the theatre from age 4, travelled. We found ways to engage Dd because all dc are different.

It's about spending time together. It helps early language development. It shows your child perspectives from lives different to their own, helping making them more open minded and empathetic from a young age by showing other people's experiences and thoughts.

Hello.

you didn’t just post saying your DC hated reading.

you drew a causal relationship between reading and future attainment that absolutely defies evidence, and rigour, based on a sample of 1. My example Of 117 year old chain smoking Nan explains this clearly . People are quite rightly disputing your inference.

I disagree. It’s nothing like that.

But you also read to her. You say she didn't like it as much as her siblings but you still read to her so it's silly think she's got to where she is without being read to.

If you hadn't actually read to her she may well have done just as well but evidence supports that she would probably not have done as well and that she did better because you did read to her.

It's not all about the gcse Grades though is it. If they can read they learn so much and it can bring them so much joy

Some children start school and they don’t even know which way to hold a book and turn the pages. They have no books at home, are never read to.
Sharing books with your children (in any form) has been shown to be massively beneficial to children’s learning and language development. So you don’t need to sit and read a story they aren’t interested in, but any sharing of books and stories helps!

There is absolutely no need to feel bad about it; he sound very active but will get there in his own time!

I think the research says it is actually the single most important thing you can do for your child in terms of educational attainment through the early/primary years.

It's also one of the absolute easiest things you can do to achieve 'perfect mum' status.

Op it's part of a wider picture and the guidance to read with your children is especially important for children from a lower socio-economic background who also miss out on other opportunities and encouragment.

There are numerous studies which show the relationship between reading and educational outcomes. It's great that your dd has done well despite not wanting to read or being read. This is because she has been raised in a home where many of the other positive influences will likely have been in place, for example you mention music lessons, maybe you have a positive view of education or have a degree. When parents from poor backgrounds read with their children and view school and education positively children do well. When they don't and parents have a suspicious, negative or disrespecful attitude towards education children have worse outcomes. I'll post some screen grabs from a report by the Joseph Rowntree Foundation which illustrate what I am trying to explain.

Reading is pushed so hard because it's very easy for parents on a lower income to do. Reading to your child teaches them to love books so that when the struggle to begin to read they will have the resilience to persevere.

I teach a large number of teenagers who are taking gcse with reading ages still at primary level. They cannot access the exam questions and will have poor outcomes, please don't think that reading isn't important.

@YourNameGoesHere okay, I didn’t explain fully. She’d lift flaps briefly but not engage in the story and saw reading as a punishment eg. Me: “oooh shall we choose a book to read?” Dd2 - lays on floor crying nooooo like I’d suggested the worst imaginable thing.

Summary - I had a toddler/primary age Dd who disliked reading and I felt like I was failing her due to pressure re the importance of reading but with hindsight I wish I hadn’t stressed it because there are other ways to give Dd enriched learning that suited her.

I have just had her school report and that triggered me thinking “why was I so worried?!”Society makes us stress and feel like failures when our dc don’t fit the guide book. Even on this thread people are saying “all dc love being read to!” Yet I know this isn’t true, but just my Dd.

Clickbait title that has very little to do with the OP's actual point that it doesn't matter what you do to nurture pre-schoolers, so long as you do nurture the little individuals.

Reading to your children and with them is really really important

@Kitcaterpillar not the easiest thing if the dc throws a tantrum at the thought. In the same way a dc might hate the slide in the park because it’s high, dd2 had no desire to look at books. She generally destroyed them.

🤣.

exactly - one anecdotal account does not balance off the actual evidence that reading with and to children is one of, if not the
most beneficial thing you can do for them (I mean outside of keeping them safe, clean and fed!)

I agree with your sentiment OP but we shouldn’t be telling parents “if your DC doesn’t want to do this important thing then just don’t stress about it bc it’ll all be fine and won’t matter long term” - because a lot of things will matter if you don’t do them