Atm I'm doing alot of work in my counselling on boundaries because tbh I've never had any or if I did I let people trample on them. This has resulted in me having previous abusive relationships etc. I've done so much work on myself over the 6 years since I left my DC dad.
This brings us to yesterday. In my counselling session I said I felt angry that people try to blame me when I set a boundary and try to put myself first for once.
I had spoken to DP on the phone earlier and we only get 1 night together every other weekend. However this weekend I need to do a carboot for money and declutter purposes. I said I wouldn't be able to stay this weekend as need to be up early to be there for 6am. We live 40 mins apart and I'd have to travel there with all my stuff in the car and wake up before 5am to get there if I stayed at DP.
She didn't like the fact I said this and told me I was being selfish and not putting them first. However last Friday DP had a child free night and I'd excitedly asked if they wanted to come to an event with me and DC. She said no and went out with her friend. I was supportive and said yea sure you're friend needs you atm.
Today after the first carboot chat she sent me some holiday date messages. I was just about to go in to my counselling appointment and then I went food shopping so in all about 2 hours I didn't text back. She deleted the messages and said she felt I didn't care about her. I explained I had been busy. She then said she didn't like it when I got annoyed about the not staying at hers chat earlier. I told her that she had made me feel selfish for doing a carboot and I said I'm fed up of always being made to feel bad when I put myself first. She replied do what you want, this isn't working and hasn't spoken to me since.
Aibu to think this is abusive? Even though I've done the work I worry I still don't recognise the signs.