To ask how this would be handled in your workplace?

[WhoWants2Know]

Ok, I know it's not the first time I've asked a question like this on Mumsnet. I think my radar for what is normal or acceptable in the workplace is completely skewed at this point in my life. But here is a recent situation:

Employee A started working with the organisation recently. Employee B has been around a while and has a habit of teasing coworkers. For whatever reason, B was curious about A's age. A wasn't forthcoming. B looked for an opportunity, went to A's things and looked at their driver's license. (This was observed by another coworker. B said they were retrieving something at A's request.) Then B revealed to A what they knew and how they had found out, at the same time revealing A's age to a coworker.

A was upset but didn't know how to respond. Coworker responses were very mixed between exasperation and outrage, saying it was a breach of privacy and confidentiality.

Which would it be in your workplace? A prank gone wrong or misconduct?

Misconduct and I think a GDPR breach. This is has no boundaries.

I think it’s too much to ask the new person to raise it with management and you should.

It’s a work place, not an episode of Jackass.

Who the fuck is he, David Brent? Twat.

Honestly? Yeah, pretty much.

I feel for you. He sounds insufferable.

Wtf? That's way over the line I'm so many ways. I wonder if this person is funny or a bully?

Misconduct and a disciplinary

The longest serving man bullies everyone including the newest woman - what else is new. Let me guess: HR doesn't give a shit because man has no ambition to go further up the chain, new woman will likely leave anyway like all the previous women he bullied, and sacking someone would require effort.

I've been there, and I left that workplace.

It sounds like an awful place to work.

Sackable offence where I work. He’d deserve it too. Twat.

Sounds a grim place to work.
I've worked in a company with a bullying/toxic culture and even there this behaviour would have been seen as pretty horrendous.

Honestly it's better to leave sooner rather than later, it definitely have an effect on your MH working in a place like that

He does sound completely insufferable. He needs an absolute bollocking at the very least, and telling to act like a bloody adult not a 10yr old. As it's an ongoing pattern of behaviour I don't think it would be unreasonable for him to be sacked.

There could have been anything in that bag that he would have come across. Medication, used period pants, jewellery or money he could have been accused of trying to take (or that could have been lost in the process of him pawing through everything). Literally anything.

Your poor colleague. I'm not sure I'd be waiting for them to complain, I think I'd be raising it myself. He tried to make you complicit by telling you a lie when you challenged him.

B teases everyone, pretty much constantly. If there's a boundary, B will poke it to see how firm it is. But equally, B wouldn't want to actually upset anyone.

You’re contradicting yourself there OP ⬆️ If B wouldn’t want to upset anyone he wouldn’t be doing what he’s doing.

It’s not teasing, it’s bullying.

You say that you wouldn’t mind somebody going through your bag. This statement shows how you normalised bullying behaviour and outrageous breach of privacy.

Maybe A needs the job and doesn’t say anything but it should be escalated to mangement and HR straight away.

Gross misconduct and disciplinary in my place of work.

Stop condoning this horrible bullying twat’s behaviour.
B should be sacked if he can’t reel it in

Not read the whole thread but Deffo misconduct. If it’s a public sector workplace it’ll be swept under the carpet as bullies are never managed

In fact I worked with someone who would’ve done something like this and thought it funny. Been getting away with it for 35 years. All wrong

Slightly different situation but a coworker went into someone else's locker and borrow an item with asking first. They were given a written warning.

Oh and also, were told often that banter/teasing is judging by how it's received ie if the person being teased doesn't find it okay or funny then it's not banter/teasing.

Bloody hell, that would absolutely result in a disciplinary in my office. It's totally, totally inappropriate behaviour.

(To be honest, in my office it wouldn't be acceptable for someone to constantly demand to know how old someone was if they didn't want to tell you, either. We have a laugh at work, we go out for drinks together etc and enjoy each other's company. My colleagues are great, everyone's got a sense of humour and we make each other laugh, a lot. But we also have respect for each other and our boundaries.)

Gross misconduct surely. B needs to report to their line manager and to HR.

Going through another person's personal belongings is actually upsetting someone and making them feel violated. It's very serious OP. B needs a written warning from HR to make them see how inappropriate it was.

I hope there are HR people on this thread paying attention. Like most professions there are good and bad, but the number of times this sort of behaviour is swept under the carpet is astounding.

I honestly think HR not taking action is worse than B’s behaviour and one day there will be legal proceedings. Being in a position of authority to enforce professional standards yet wilfully doing nothing to allow multiple people to be bullied is beyond reprehensible.

It's gross misconduct and requires a disciplinary and investigation. The information found and then told to others is classed as sensitive information plus going through another persons things is deplorable ! Boundaries have been more than crossed and there needs to be consequences

I probably am contradicting myself by describing the way he pushes boundaries and also saying he doesn't want to upset people.

I think he does actually want to make people laugh. And he's often successful. He does do a lot of nice things for everyone in the team, which is why I think he doesn't actually want to properly upset anyone.

But the constant background "playfulness" has definitely affected my expectations for what should happen in the workplace, and probably everyone else's.

It is apparently being dealt with officially. No idea what that will look like in practice.

Could I ask what sector this is? It sounds pretty unprofessional all round. I work in a very relaxed albeit old school environment and even here that would be misconduct without a doubt.

I feel for the colleague whose bag he went through. Appalling behaviour and to tell the office what he did, not even admitting just to her and apologising, is wrong on so many levels. Is his MO to tell everyone and when no one reacts or someone laughs to tell his victim they're overreacting? He's an utter arse. I would be locking everything away as he's disrespectful and untrustworthy. Should anything ever go missing or be stolen he'll be top of the suspect list.