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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel depressed about this?

83 replies

Stressful00 · 09/07/2023 21:18

I work at a nursery. Not through choice but not having much luck finding nanny work. I live quite rurally and before anyone says move, I'm not in a financial position to do that.
I feel really down tonight. On my FB feed there are people on benefits who are off on yet another mini break or who have bought a new car etc. I'm just living day to day. Working, going to appointments ( I have chronic conditions) and just being careful with money due to COL.
I sometimes wish I could pack it all in and go on the dole.

OP posts:
5128gap · 09/07/2023 21:29

Well if you have chronic health conditions you probably could. I think you'll find though that the people on benefits affording new cars and holidays tend to be urban myths or have special circumstances such as multiple children on DLA, and are very rare. Most people on benefits are on the breadline. If you're single, have no children and are on benefits it's even worse than that. There are on line benefit calculators that will tell you if you'd be better off (spoiler: you won't!) but might flag up entitlements you have that you're not claiming so worth a look anyway.

RightOnTheEdge · 09/07/2023 21:33

Pack it all up and go on the dole then OP!
Then you can have a new car and lots of holidays! Big tv, new phone and a goat in the garden.
What's stopping you?

Blossomtoes · 09/07/2023 21:34

RightOnTheEdge · 09/07/2023 21:33

Pack it all up and go on the dole then OP!
Then you can have a new car and lots of holidays! Big tv, new phone and a goat in the garden.
What's stopping you?

This. If you think life on benefits is one of luxury, just do it. Come back and tell us how you find it.

vodkaredbullgirl · 09/07/2023 21:36

Not had one of these posts for awhile.

Original poster
Stressful00 · 09/07/2023 21:36

I can only go by what I am seeing on FB. The truth is both of them have been able to do that where as I can only dream of it. Not saying it's a life of luxury but they are certainly fortunate to have the spare funds to do that.

OP posts:
AndTheSurveySays · 09/07/2023 21:40

If you truly believe people are better off on benefits then why are you not claiming?

riotlady · 09/07/2023 21:42

Stressful00 · 09/07/2023 21:36

I can only go by what I am seeing on FB. The truth is both of them have been able to do that where as I can only dream of it. Not saying it's a life of luxury but they are certainly fortunate to have the spare funds to do that.

Well I’m not sure people’s FB posts are famous for accurately representing their lives or financial situations

NorthWestThree · 09/07/2023 21:43

What is stopping you going on benefits and living the high life yourself OP? Quit your job and claim away, enjoy all those holidays eh!

YourSpleenIsDamp · 09/07/2023 21:47

My kids and I all receive disability benefits. We have no housing costs. We went to the Canaries at Easter this year, and I'm not worried about money. I'd give ANYTHING to be able to work again. I'd do ANYTHING for my children to not have to live with lifelong disabilities. I can't remember what it's like to be free of pain - right now I can't even turn my head. You're very welcome to our benefits if you take on our disabilities too. I'd swap with you in a heartbeat, OP. Check your privilege.

Swrigh1234 · 09/07/2023 21:48

You are not wrong OP. But this is MN. People on benefits are virtuous and good and must not be questioned on anything. Everyone else is just unreasonable.

Blossomtoes · 09/07/2023 21:52

Swrigh1234 · 09/07/2023 21:48

You are not wrong OP. But this is MN. People on benefits are virtuous and good and must not be questioned on anything. Everyone else is just unreasonable.

Well it’s pretty unreasonable to think people on benefits can live an enviably luxurious life.

WonderfulUsername · 09/07/2023 21:55

Go on the dole then if it makes you less bitter.

Life is too short for that shit 🤷‍♂️

WonderfulUsername · 09/07/2023 21:57

vodkaredbullgirl · 09/07/2023 21:36

Not had one of these posts for awhile.

It's been a few weeks hasn't it? 👀

I was getting a bit worried to be honest, but all is now right in the MN world 😁

Restinggoddess · 09/07/2023 22:38

I understand where you are coming from

I worked in the public sector and regularly had families who were on benefits driving better cars than me, having more holidays than me … it was galling
Some of these families were very adept at claiming for all sorts of things. There was almost a market in sharing tips and ideas for how to claim for things that were not true - including falsifying signatures from school staff
I also know qualified nursery staff who gave up their jobs to work in cafes - because the money was the same and the stress was less. None of this makes sense
and is a sad reflection on the attitude we have towards some jobs

What you need to remember is that you are doing a good job and be proud of yourself - don’t let the buggers get you down

Annaishere · 09/07/2023 22:40

Why don’t you try it then

Babyroobs · 09/07/2023 22:53

Restinggoddess · 09/07/2023 22:38

I understand where you are coming from

I worked in the public sector and regularly had families who were on benefits driving better cars than me, having more holidays than me … it was galling
Some of these families were very adept at claiming for all sorts of things. There was almost a market in sharing tips and ideas for how to claim for things that were not true - including falsifying signatures from school staff
I also know qualified nursery staff who gave up their jobs to work in cafes - because the money was the same and the stress was less. None of this makes sense
and is a sad reflection on the attitude we have towards some jobs

What you need to remember is that you are doing a good job and be proud of yourself - don’t let the buggers get you down

Same here. I will second this especially the sharing of tips ! I hear it all the time.

DyslexicPoster · 09/07/2023 23:02

Forging school staff signatures on what? DLA? My kids get dla and I never have anyone fill in the witness part. I do however have years of hospital appointments. My dd gets middle rate care dla only and has a paed report, clinical physc, OT, speach therapy reports. Her DLA wouldn't get us a car or holiday. Unless you mean a weekend in Pontins and a 15 year old fiesta.

I don't currently work but my house, my car, my holidays was possible because I had a great job before becoming a carer. When I bought all these things.

FrogsWormsandCaterpillars · 09/07/2023 23:05

I work AND receive benefits. I’m obviously doing something wrong as I can’t even afford a weekend at Butlins

TeenLifeMum · 09/07/2023 23:11

The only person I know who was living well in benefits was a friend who had very good csm from her ex. They didn’t count towards her entitlement but he was very wealthy so paid about 2500 per month for his dc with her. I don’t think that’s normal but it was what she was entitled to. She’s actually worked extremely hard to train to be a teacher from being a TA so she won’t have to rely on her ex forever.

Moreorlessmentallystable · 10/07/2023 16:35

People on Mumsnet will always tell you to go on benefits if you think it's so good. Truth is most people on benefits have been on benefits for generations and know all the tricks to squeeze as much as possible off the system. If you are an actual honest person that goes on benefits you won't have enough to live on probably. I agree with you , so many people on benefits still go on holiday every year, get help with uniforms, food vouchers, help with rent etc . I think if you are in . Low wage and have kids, you'd definitely better off on benefits...

Curtains70 · 10/07/2023 16:37

If you genuinely believe you will be better off on the dole then just do it.

Or do you actually know that's bullshit?

Annaishere · 10/07/2023 20:17

Moreorlessmentallystable · 10/07/2023 16:35

People on Mumsnet will always tell you to go on benefits if you think it's so good. Truth is most people on benefits have been on benefits for generations and know all the tricks to squeeze as much as possible off the system. If you are an actual honest person that goes on benefits you won't have enough to live on probably. I agree with you , so many people on benefits still go on holiday every year, get help with uniforms, food vouchers, help with rent etc . I think if you are in . Low wage and have kids, you'd definitely better off on benefits...

The only way I can see it being like that is if someone claims disability benefit on top of universal credit. Which isn’t easy to get these days

pristinequeen · 10/07/2023 20:20

Quit work then. Why be jealous of those on the dole when you can be on the dole. Think you'll find it's not all you see on social media

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 10/07/2023 20:24

Moreorlessmentallystable · 10/07/2023 16:35

People on Mumsnet will always tell you to go on benefits if you think it's so good. Truth is most people on benefits have been on benefits for generations and know all the tricks to squeeze as much as possible off the system. If you are an actual honest person that goes on benefits you won't have enough to live on probably. I agree with you , so many people on benefits still go on holiday every year, get help with uniforms, food vouchers, help with rent etc . I think if you are in . Low wage and have kids, you'd definitely better off on benefits...

This is true. If people believe it’s not, they either don’t know many people on benefits or they’re on them themselves and don’t know how to play the system.

Annaishere · 10/07/2023 20:30

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 10/07/2023 20:24

This is true. If people believe it’s not, they either don’t know many people on benefits or they’re on them themselves and don’t know how to play the system.

Show quote history

I’m on UC with extra sickness element. If I take off my DC allowance I get rent (£440) and then about 600 a month. I can’t afford holidays. I can’t think of any ways to play the system for more unless I got my doctor to say I was disabled when I wasn’t ? Maybe I could pretend to be a cater I suppose but I don’t think that pays much