Sad about DMs 'work' done to face

[Spottypineapple]

Preface by saying her body her choice , of course.

DM is mid 60s. Lives several hours away so don't see her frequently.

Seen her recently and she was keeping her sunglasses on a lot..odd. But then I noticed terrible bruising and stitches in her hairline, and bruises under her chin as well. Clearly something very surgical and explains the sunglasses!

Anyway, she looks totally different. She doesn't have a warm smile and kind eyes anymore. She looks stern and angry, and a bit like she's just found a hair in her food. It's hard to describe.

AIBU to feel a bit sad about this? Or is it just because she's my mum and other people wouldn't notice. I haven't and won't say this to her btw, as obviously it's her choice and if she feels good about it herself I suppose that's what matters.

@bellac11 - I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean. I guess from reading your earlier posts you're being sarcastic? Caring for my appearance is not the same as being frightened of visually appearing to be the middle aged woman I am.

My DM had a facelift 7/8 years ago. I was shocked too and she had a similarly stern look because of swelling. It took about a six months to a year to settle in I reckon. She looked great after that. Now I always forget she’s had it down. Anyway, I hear you but don’t despair. Promise it will get better.

its not about judging or whether it looks good or not. The op just knows her mum’s face.. you remember your mum by HER warm eyes. Now they’re different. No longer the same eyes you associated with your mother. Of course it’s normal to feel sad at that changing. I’m sure everyone’s right though. The swelling will go down and personality will return

Fantastic post, absolutely spot on.

*What did she have out of interest

The few searches Ive done to try and look at what one can have, have been utterly overwhelming, all different names for similar procedures so I cant tell whats what

I wouldnt know how to go about choosing a surgeon, presumably all the ones where it doesnt look so good, the patient carefully chose the surgeon?*

I can't answer that.

All I know was she went to Harley Street - top private surgeon. Cost over £20k she said all in with travel, hospital stays, post care etc.

Reading between the lines, in HS the costs quoted and what you end up spending can be very different eg they quote for the procedure but the pre-post consultations/care and hospital stats are all on top.

She said it was a full FL and not a "mini" though I'm not sure of the difference.

YANBU. For the reasons you give but I'd also be gutted that she felt she needed it. I'm not a fan of cosmetic surgery personally.

Thanks, you said it was a rolls royce procedure so I assumed it was some fandangly thing they do

The problem with 'Harley Street' is that it doesnt mean anything, its just a street with offices that anyone can set up a business from. It doesnt mean someone working a business out of there has some sort of fantastic reputation/history/knowledge and skill

Ive been looking at thread lifts which are not surgery but which still cost a bomb

I literally only want my jowls sorting and my new turkey neck, theres nothing wrong with anything else on my face, I dont have lines much round my eyes or anywhere else as such.

Perhaps its cheaper to invest in a load of roll neck jumpers.

It’s her body OP.

Threads are dodgy as hell, avoid!

Yep agree re threads, save up for a lower facelift, there is a thread on here somewhere where the poster posted pictures of her lower facelift procedure, she looked great and I think she didn’t have to have a general either just sedation.