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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask when your children were potty trained?

206 replies

Chickensoupandbread · 08/07/2023 17:35

Starting to stress a bit and I know you shouldn’t but can’t even make the smallest steps as my toddler won’t even sit on the potty, just refuses to. 2 ys 8 months, and most other children we know are either trained or well on the way!

OP posts:
wingingit1987 · 08/07/2023 20:24

I’ll add- we did the 3 day method. They were immediate dry overnight.

sunnydayhereandnow · 08/07/2023 20:30

Sounds similar to mine. He trained at about 2yrs 10 months. Literally never had any interest in the potty and never did anything in it. Likewise, Oh Crap method was a disaster for us. Naked totally didn't work, he just peed wherever as it didn't bother him, and the whole thing of keeping your eyes on them all day every day was insane.

What did work was putting underpants on (no trousers for the first few days) as then he could feel it go down his leg. I also totally took off the pressure. No rewards and no power games. Just pointed out that he peed and reminded him that it goes in the toilet, and praise when it went in. Also, he stood to pee in the toilet rather than sitting on the potty. It took about 3 days for him to have very few accidents.

Also the week he was training I took him to do some "big boy" things (burger restaurant, chose a toy suitable for older kids) - I didn't mention it was connected to the toilet training but I think it helped him to get the picture that he was going through a milestone and becoming a "big boy".

The only time I used rewards was when he protested at preschool when he went back and started pooping his pants every day. He got a marshmallow every day if he had pooped there in the toilet. It worked fairly quickly :)

Good luck, it's stressful at the time, but when it's the right time they get it.

Original poster
Chickensoupandbread · 08/07/2023 20:35

Thanks@sunnydayhereandnow that does sound similar to us! He will happily wee on the floor - finds it funny Hmm

OP posts:
Penguinandduck · 08/07/2023 20:35
  1. 2y 10 months
  2. 2y 10 months
  3. 3y 8 months, and still insists on nappy for poo 2 months later. Has severe toilet anxiety/ hysteria if we try to push it.
Songbird54321 · 08/07/2023 20:42

I started with my first at 2 years 8 months but it took a few months for her to be consistent with it. I felt pressured to get her out of nappies before she started nursery (about a week after her 3rd birthday) so think I made it more stressful than it needed to be.
My second is only 15 months so not started with her yet although hoping it will be easier as we'll have a downstairs toilet this time

IHateLegDay · 08/07/2023 20:44

Eldest was 3y1m
Second was 2y

NatalieH2220 · 08/07/2023 20:48

My eldest trained at 2.5.

My youngest is the same age as your toddler and haven't tried yet. Planning to try in a couple of weeks but he's stubborn so I'm not expecting much. If he doesn't pick it up we'll just try again in a few months.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 08/07/2023 20:49

DS, 2y8m - success after a failed attempt a month or 2 earlier.

DD - 2y3m - declared "pants today" one morning, we cracked on, and we were done in a few days.

Golaz · 08/07/2023 20:50

DC1: 16 months
DC2: 18 months

Shopper727 · 08/07/2023 20:52

4 boys all were 3 just after birthdays had false starts before that but trained in a few days after waiting. Youngest trained then went right back but has asd and still isn’t totally clean, wet at night etc

Heatherbell1978 · 08/07/2023 20:55

Honestly the later the better...both mine were 3.5. After realising with DS that it was a complete waste of time trying when he was 2, I just waited. Ended up cracking it in 2 days, dry at night instantly, never had an accident. So didn't even bother with DD until she was 3.5 and practically did it herself. Same outcome.

Friends who 'trained' earlier seemed to have countless accidents and kids wetting the bed for years.

DramaAlpaca · 08/07/2023 21:03

DS1 2 years 2 months
DS2 2 years 4 months
DS3 2 years 6 months

My DC are in their mid to late 20s but what we did back then was just basically stay at home for a week and got it done. Between 2 and 2.5 is the ideal age because toddlers that age tend to be eager to please. A child of three still in nappies was almost unheard of 25 years ago.

DS3 was dry at night immediately, but it took much longer with the older two.

mondaytosunday · 08/07/2023 21:08

First about two and a half. Second just after two.
Both learned quite quickly - dry night and day after a couple weeks.

Rosebel · 08/07/2023 21:11

DD1 was 2 and 1/2
DD2 was just before she turned 2.
DS is 3 and will sit on the potty with his clothes on but refuses as soon as his nappy is off. Screams and cries. He is pretty much non verbal too so it's hard.
I was hoping moving in to preschool would encourage him to start using the potty but so far he's not interested.

AppropriateAdult · 08/07/2023 21:14

We tried to train our almost 3yo at the beginning of May and after 2 weeks we were getting nowhere. We took a complete break from it for a month or so, tried again in mid-June and he got it in 48 hours. Sometimes it's just a case of waiting until they're ready.

username10382 · 08/07/2023 21:36

My first was more or less as soon as they turn 3 and my second was 3 years 5months! I tried much earlier especially with my first but they just had accidents all the time. With both I found it suddenly just clicked.

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 08/07/2023 21:56

This is mumsnet. You will get loads of lies. Waiting for the “ I trained mine from birth brigade”!

Brk · 08/07/2023 21:57

Just after 3. I waited til summer then took the daytime nappies away and stayed at home wearing t shirt with naked bottom half, until it was sorted. Took a week. Continued night nappies but she stopped using them.

It was weird, she had absolutely no idea how to control the wee for the first few days and then suddenly got it.

YorkshireIndie · 08/07/2023 22:12

2.5yrs. Was going to do it over jubilee weekend and causally mentioned it to nursery who said they liked to do toilet training in pairs so did we want to send him in the next day in pants.

Started on the Tuesday and on Thursday night announced he was no longer a baby and therefore did not wear nappies at night 😅

Looking back he was ready at Easter but we were going away and it was one less thing to throw into the mix

EvenLess · 08/07/2023 22:18

We've just done it at 3.5. I felt a lot of pressure to do it earlier but didn't feel in the right place- stressful time with my DF having cancer and passing away earlier this year. Tried last summer but she just wasn't ready.

We started a couple of weeks ago and she's just done it herself, with only a couple of accidents. Not dry at night yet but not too worried about that at the moment.

Untrusting · 08/07/2023 22:19

Eldest was 2,9 months only took 5 days.
Middle was around 3 and was accident prone for a couple of months after.
Last child was 2.5 she just decided she was ready and off she went.

Asparagus1 · 08/07/2023 22:20

2 years 8 months
3 and a half
a couple of weeks before 3rd birthday

don’t stress!

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 08/07/2023 22:21

I'm starting to get a bit worried with mine as she's almost 3.5 and like the OP's child, won't even sit on the potty most of the time. She just doesn't care if she's in a wet nappy or if it's leaked etc.

I delayed potty training while I was pregnant with my second as I'd read it causes regression. Wish I'd just done it while I was on maternity leave. I can honestly see me having to do both kids together.

My mum had no issues with me and my brother. I was dry day and night at 13mths and my brother at 15mths.
Last time I took my DD to my mum's, she did a wee on the toilet when my mum took her, then no interest since 🙄.

Ambi · 08/07/2023 22:22

Just after they both turned 3. Took about a week, solidly training at home with no bottoms on, a potty downstairs, a big bag of maltesers for bribery and pull ups if we absolutely had to leave the house.

Circe7 · 08/07/2023 22:27

3yrs and he got it within a couple of days. He was very challenging as a two year old and struggled with new brother arriving so I left it for a while. He was physically ready before then but I knew it would be a battle and had enough other battles with him at that time.