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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask when your children were potty trained?

206 replies

Chickensoupandbread · 08/07/2023 17:35

Starting to stress a bit and I know you shouldn’t but can’t even make the smallest steps as my toddler won’t even sit on the potty, just refuses to. 2 ys 8 months, and most other children we know are either trained or well on the way!

OP posts:
FMW · 08/07/2023 19:02

2y 9m and 2y 3m. I waited too long with the older one. He had a good sense of ‘self’ and used potty training as control. I didn’t wait as long with the younger one and it worked out much better.

FlounderingFruitcake · 08/07/2023 19:03

Re the other children you know, what does ‘well on the way’ even mean? Something like the child sits on the potty whilst the bath is being run, or can wee in it sometimes but insists on a nappy to poo? As the Oh Crap lady says there’s no such thing as sort-of potty trained. Don’t feel pressured.

40friedfish · 08/07/2023 19:04

When they were ready. It's not a competition.

Roselilly36 · 08/07/2023 19:26

Boys often take longer. DS1 was just over 2.5years, DS2 about the same.

AngeloMysterioso · 08/07/2023 19:27

Only done it with DS1 so far and he was nearly 3 1/2, so a bit later than most but he had delayed speech development and we wanted to wait until he was able to tell us when he needed a wee or a poo. Hoping to do it a bit earlier with DS2.

noglow · 08/07/2023 19:29

Gpnever · 08/07/2023 17:42

I did the oh crap method with both of mine at about 2.5 and it worked first time. I would recommend to anyone , 5-10 days of work and all done for us x

I heard that was cruel but someone else said it was good. How do I find out what it actually is?

Clevs · 08/07/2023 19:31

3 years 9 months. We tried before that but he wasn't interested. So left it for when he was ready and it was really easy. Hardly any accidents.

2chocolateoranges · 08/07/2023 19:31

Son dry in the day 2.2yrs old dry night 6months later

Daughter dry in the day and night at 2.4 yrs old.

Ladychatterly86 · 08/07/2023 19:33

Boy. 2 years 3 months. I had Covid so had to isolate for two weeks and took the opportunity to be productive and not leave the house. First three days nothing but accidents. And was ready to give up. Fourth day he started using potty. He was consistently using by day 9 or 10. We used a sticker reward chart and chocolate buttons.

SallyWD · 08/07/2023 19:34

My daughter was potty trained at 2.5 and did really well. Took less than a week.
It took longer with my son abd we had a couple of attempts. I think he finally nailed it at 3.

Gpnever · 08/07/2023 19:36

noglow · 08/07/2023 19:29

I heard that was cruel but someone else said it was good. How do I find out what it actually is?

Show quote history

You can buy the book

it’s not cruel at all. It’s just a way of doing it x

Brainfogmcfogface · 08/07/2023 19:37

Eldest just after turned 2, youngest around 3, but I give full credit to my eldest (4 year age gap) who would take youngest to the loo and explain it all, and youngest adores eldest so pretty much did as was told! Eldest is a natural teacher (bossy boots! 😬)

Pottedpalm · 08/07/2023 19:38

mynameiscalypso · 08/07/2023 17:41

Just over 3.5. Wouldn't entertain it before and cracked it in a day. Now has the least accidents of any of the children in his nursery class.

How do you know this? Are you counting?

Original poster
Chickensoupandbread · 08/07/2023 19:39

Unsure whether to just put the potty away and revisit in a few months, or whether to keep it out and try to chat about it in a ‘no pressure ‘ way. Nursery try to encourage potty use.

OP posts:
Thelastofbus · 08/07/2023 19:39

Eldest was 2 years 2 months, then dry at night just before they turned 4. Youngest was dry day and night at 2 years 8 months ish. Plenty of kids aren’t ready until 3 plus though. I wouldn’t be stressing out at this point. I tried and stopped several
times with my youngest as they just weren’t ready. I couldn’t be doing with accidents all the time, so didn’t want them out of nappies until they were ready. Some people I know said their kids were potty trained, when in reality they were wetting themselves most days.

StressedToDeathhhh · 08/07/2023 19:39

Eldest was just turned 2 (but wet the bed for years after)
Middle was 18 months day and night
Youngest is 2 years 7 months and still very hit and miss with it

So stressful at the time but doesn't matter one bit in the long run

Sidking · 08/07/2023 19:40

My youngest was about 2.5, but my eldest wasn't dry until a week before his 4th birthday, literally zero interest in/ability to hold it until he woke up one day and decided it was time for pants. He was then dry day and night from that moment with no 'training' or reminders needed. My youngest took a bit longer to be dry at night (he is now at 3) and does have the odd accident still where he's not made it in time

Thepowerhouseofthecell · 08/07/2023 19:43

My son's birthday is September and I potty trained him in the August just before he turned 3. We spent a lot of time at home to begin with, him naked from the waist down while I followed him around with a potty.

By the time he started nursery the following January he was dry during the day with very occasional accidents at nursery but none at home. (Think I was just better at knowing when he needed the loo and making him go compared to nursery staff.)

He still wore nappies overnight until the age of 5. It just took him ages to be dry at night and I tried a few times to get rid of them but we just had a few days of constantly washing bedding so I kept giving up. Then one day his pull ups were just dry in the mornings and that was that!

My niece took a weekend to potty train allegedly! They are all different.

Door12345 · 08/07/2023 19:43

My only child and it has taken to 3.5 years old for accidents in the home and just in the last few months for outdoors
I spent so much time worrying about this and I really wish I hadn't as it helped nothing
I believe they need the guidance obviously but they do it in their own time
My daughter used to get really upset even at 3 so we just left it a few more months then tried again and this time she has been great

We initially had the odd accident but now none at all
Starts school in September and I will tackle the night time then

BurningBenches · 08/07/2023 19:44

5 kids here.

Dd1. 2yrs 4m after a uti she was more aware and got it.
Dd2. Was dry bottomless from 22m, 100% but utterly incontinent in pants until 2yrs 4m.
Dd3. 3yrs 1m. Dry day and night from this point. No accidents
DS 2yrs 3m but still has accidents at 3ys 11m unlike sisters.
Dd5 18m she started regularly asking to go, put it off til Feb half term when she was about 19m. She is now just turned 2 and has fewer accidents than her brother.

All different, but I've let them take the lead really.

Wertie · 08/07/2023 19:44

2.2 years
2.6 years
3.1 years
4.2 years
2.4 years

All treated the same. One nearly broke me…

FlounderingFruitcake · 08/07/2023 19:46

I wouldn’t keep a potty out in the living space unless you’re going to crack on with training. It just reinforces that it’s optional, confuses the message and encourages chucking toy cars and the like in it which is a pretty gross habit considering it’s supposed to be a toilet. I think you want to bring it out when you feel he’s ready and you’re committed to giving training a proper bash and be clear about what’s expected. I would however leave it in the bathroom, since he likes to go with you, and ask if he’d like to try whilst you go. If he says no then fine but he might surprise you one day. And that way keeps the message very clear about what it’s for.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 08/07/2023 19:47

Daytime, shortly after 2 - it took just a week both times. But then I was at home with them all day, and we were in a warm climate so they could wear just pants or nothing.

mynameiscalypso · 08/07/2023 19:48

@Pottedpalm His room leader told me.

Poppy160 · 08/07/2023 19:48

I’m potty training my 5 year old right now! He is autistic and delayed. With the weather being warm he has been wondering around naked and I noticed he was able to hold it and take himself to the toilet. Trying to put pants on him had been a nightmare as we think its the change in routine but today he woke and just put them on. I think we did the right thing by just following his lead and not forcing as that has failed miserably in the past.