To think this isn’t rude?

[Barbarawindsor1]

MIL has corrected me a couple of times now for saying this so wanted to get wider views… when talking directly to DH I have referred to her as ‘your mum’ e.g. ‘Your mum and I were just saying if the weather’s bad tomorrow we should go to XYZ’ - she then corrects me and says ‘Linda’. It feels artificial to say that to me and I don’t think I’m being rude? She doesn’t have a problem with me referring to her as ‘Grandma’ to DC. Obviously when I’m addressing her directly I use her name.

It's a bit odd yes, if she's standing beside you. Which she must be if she's correcting you on it. I don't see why you wouldn't use her name. Calling her Your Mum sounds more artificial to me.

I think it's fine I wouldn't be bothered by it at all

I personally wouldn't mind it. It's better than 'she', which I do find rude.
However I would just go with her preference. Maybe she doesn't want to be defined as someone's mum, who knows.

No it’s not rude. Both my DIL do this and I have never thought anything of it.

Dont think it's rudes per se. I mean it wouldn't bother me if I was in her position. However, if she's asked you not to and you continue to do it, then that's rude.

She has made her preference known so I think it’s rude to ignore her request

To me saying 'Linda' would be more rude! I know neither are, i'm just saying that for me I would have been told that to use the first name was ruder than saying yer mam.

This!

It doesn't matter whether you think it's rude to say her name instead of 'your mum' - she has asked that you use her name so juts use it going forward

I wouldn’t do it deliberately just to make the point that I’m right, it just feels very artificial to say ‘Linda’ when I’m actually addressing DH, as we always say mum/your mum when talking about her, so it’s just slipped out. It’s more it makes me feel like she’s telling me off for breaching some etiquette rule! Which I’m glad to hear people don’t think I am.

It would feel odd to call her by her first name to DH? It's his mum, so that's how I'd refer to her. If I said "Jenny wants a lift to the hospital." He'd ask who I was talking about!

I don't think it's inherently rude but she's been clear that she wants to be addressed by her first name when in adult company (even if that's her son).

Just have to make an effort to remember.

She probably uses your name rather than saying "your wife and I..." So wants the same respect. Seems absolutely fine to request this.

Even if she's standing beside you at the time?

I don't think it's rude, but actually if it was reversed and mil said 'your wife and I' I would probably find it rude.

Why doesn’t he realise his Mum has a proper name too?

She sounds bizarre. But those are her wishes, maybe just keep the peace and try and get into the habit of it for her. What does your husband think.

Bizarre because she likes being referred to by her name?

Yes but DH doesn’t call me ‘wife’

@user1471517900 well yes because it's to her own child. I do call dp's mums name her name to her of course but if it was in conversation to him I would say "your Mum" ie "Your Mum was just saying then xyz".
I can't imagine someone calling me my name to my son but each to their own 😂

I’m not asking if I should/shouldn’t say it going forward, I’ll do as she wishes, I just wanted to check there wasn’t some social rule I wasn’t aware of!

Even if she's in the same room? You wouldn't say that you and Linda went out for lunch (say)? It also sounds more friendly too, and more importantly is what she wants!

I’m with you op. I’d naturally say ‘your mum’.

just like I’d say to the kids that ‘dad said xyz’ Or ‘Your Nan is making apple pie tonight’.

No of course not if she was in the same room?! Right in front of me right next to me which ever, what difference does it make?! Both dp and his Mum would probably look at me like I was crazy if I called his mum by her first name to him. Wonder if this is a cultural or class thing?!
I'm in the NW, and were pretty working class so wonder if it's to do with that 😂

To be fair, in our area, I've just realised we do it with other family members too.
My brother routinely says "Me sister" instead of calling me by my name. Doesn't bother me. I normally say "My brother" or "Our James".

@user1471517900

It doesn't actually sound more friendly to me. It sounds overly formal and stiff.
But where I live we say "mate" and "love" alot