Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should have been told this first?

66 replies

brushed · 07/07/2023 12:28

My DD10 has just got back from a few days at her dads. She's told me her younger sibling there (who she shares a room with) has just got chicken pox. DD has not had chicken pox before and we go on holiday at the end of next week.

AIBU in thinking I should have been told about the chicken pox before she went so we could have had the option of her staying at home until her sibling was no longer contagious?

OP posts:
Notahugger2023 · 07/07/2023 12:29

Yes and you shouldn’t have had to hear it from your DD.

Ponoka7 · 07/07/2023 12:31

So was the other child contagious before they knew (by the spots appearing)? You should have been told and she should have been sent home when the spots appeared.

Original poster
brushed · 07/07/2023 12:32

Just to clarify - the spots first appeared the day before DD arrived.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 07/07/2023 12:35

Well out of order then. They've exposed her to what is a unpleasant virus at best, at worst it can have complications. You should be able to still go on holiday, because it will have been ten days.

Kitkatcatflap · 07/07/2023 12:37

Irresponsible - you should have been given the choice even if you were on your way there

Summer2424 · 07/07/2023 12:39

Hi @brushed YANBU they should have told you.

CatsSnore · 07/07/2023 12:40

I'd be so annoyed. Are there any antivirals she could take?

Can you speak to ex about not sending or taking dc if there are contagious illnesses like this or d&v etc so it doesn't happen again.

Original poster
brushed · 07/07/2023 12:43

@CatsSnore I could try but not sure how well it would go down. DD has been there on numerous occasions when the sibling has been poorly (including D&V), but is not allowed over there when ill herself!

OP posts:
Frogpond · 07/07/2023 12:46

I hope you send her when she is sick after this.

CatsSnore · 07/07/2023 12:49

brushed · 07/07/2023 12:43

@CatsSnore I could try but not sure how well it would go down. DD has been there on numerous occasions when the sibling has been poorly (including D&V), but is not allowed over there when ill herself!

That is awful! I'd send her over with bugs on purpose 😫 if we share yours then you can share ours!

Definitely worth a phone call and an ask 🤞 and a phone call to the gp to see if there's any type of antiviral dd can have. Also, she might not get it, or she might get like two spots and be perfectly fine. See what happens before getting stressed.

ZekeZeke · 07/07/2023 12:57

Of course you should have been told.

Also, don't understand the venom, of course you should not send your DD off when she is ill. If a child is ill, travelling to the other parents house wouldn't do their illness any good, now would it? It would make them miserable, and would you want your child to be miserable? No of course you wouldn't.

OhhhhhhhhBiscuits · 07/07/2023 12:59

You could try and get the chicken pox vaccine as a matter of urgency. They do say it can help prevent an outbreak. You need to get it within a certain amount of days of exposure though.

Original poster
brushed · 07/07/2023 13:14

@ZekeZeke I wouldn't send her if she felt rotten, no

OP posts:
CC4712 · 07/07/2023 13:18

Get her vaccinated. Yes, you should have been told.

caringcarer · 07/07/2023 13:23

Notahugger2023 · 07/07/2023 12:29

Yes and you shouldn’t have had to hear it from your DD.

We went on holiday and our child got chicken pox on the third day of our holiday. It was miserable because our child wanted to go into the pool as he had on the first 2 days of our holiday. DH used to take him into the sea at 6am in the morning before anyone else was there. Then one of us had to stay home with him whilst the other took our other child out. We had planned to eat out every night but had to find a supermarket instead. The child recovered the day after we got home and cried most days because he wanted to go into the pool. I hope your child does not get it OP.

Original poster
brushed · 07/07/2023 13:59

@OhhhhhhhhBiscuits I did look at this but nowhere has any appointments until the week after next!

OP posts:
CatsSnore · 07/07/2023 14:13

Ring 111 and ask them if it's available in a nearby county this afternoon!

dementedpixie · 07/07/2023 14:15

Why ring 111?
It would need to be done privately. Boots, superdrug, etc often offer it

dementedpixie · 07/07/2023 14:16

Incubation period is 10-21 days so you wouldn't know if she has caught it for a wee while yet

CatsSnore · 07/07/2023 14:23

I just assumed 111 could book her in somewhere or let her know the nearest available place 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
brushed · 07/07/2023 14:25

So from what you've all said, we're not likely to know whether she's caught it or not until we're on holiday!

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 07/07/2023 14:25

But how would they know? They're an NHS service and the OP would need to source it privately.

CatsSnore · 07/07/2023 14:34

I don't think it's a huge leap to expect 111 to have a list of pharmacies/private clinics of where the vaccines would be given. The vaccination is available for children for free on the nhs if they're around vulnerable adults. Not sure why you're seemingly nitpicking at me demented?

Astromelia · 07/07/2023 14:55

Definitely try to find somewhere that can vaccinate her asap, if given very soon after exposure it can still work. Boots, Superdrug, pharmacies, travel clinics. If she doesn’t have the vaccine she will get chickenpox - 15 minutes in the same room is what would be considered significant exposure.

Would certainly need to be private, this is not covered in the NHS.

Her dad was certainly being unreasonable. If his daughter has to miss her holiday it will be her fault, it’s very unkind of him.

ZekeZeke · 07/07/2023 15:05

brushed · 07/07/2023 13:14

@ZekeZeke I wouldn't send her if she felt rotten, no

I had a feeling by your posts that its not something you would do.

Shame on the others for even suggesting it.

Hope your DS is okay and doesn't catch them, they are bloody awful yokes, highly contagious and would be an awful risk to others on the flight.