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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I witnessed a retail employee being absolutely vile to an elderly man today

389 replies

Greenfinc · 06/07/2023 14:54

This afternoon in a small branch of Lidl at the self service checkouts. Nobody was on the actual tills so no option to use them instead.

An elderly man needed some help scanning his shopping and was explaining to the employee overseeing the checkouts that he was partially sighted and was struggling to find the bar codes.

The employee was absolutely horrible to him saying being partially sighted doesn't mean he can't see and that there's a difference between being partially sighted and blind. Her attitude was vile.

She begrudgingly scanned his remaining items, as though he'd asked her to pay for them herself, and as he was collecting his change from the machine she sarcastically said "oh you managed to see that well enough did you"

I asked him if he needed any help and if he was ok and he explained that he'd had two surgeries on his eyes and couldn't see very well, and that he was only able to get about to the shop on his own as he knew and was used to it but struggled with the bar codes.

I told him I'd heard everything that woman had said to him and that I'm going to contact the head office about her and report exactly what I'd heard. He said he didn't want to make a fuss and that she was clearly just looking for an argument.

WIBU to report her to her employer regardless? I feel really sad about it and don't think somebody like that should be in a customer facing role working with members of the public. Horrible bully.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
danceyourselfdizzy1 · 06/07/2023 18:11

Gosh this makes my heart break and I'd hate to think of someone treating my elderly dad like this. I would both go back to the store and speak to the manager but also email head office. I'll bet there's plenty of people would love to have this woman's job.

danceyourselfdizzy1 · 06/07/2023 18:12

Yeah I'd report them. I know it's Lidl so you have to make allowances for the attitude of the staff (and in my local branch, of many of the customers), but that's out of order.

Sorry but wtf is this bull??

hotpotlover · 06/07/2023 18:18

Report her. She needs sacking.

hotpotlover · 06/07/2023 18:18

At least then she can't victimise people anymore

Ibloodymissgluten · 06/07/2023 18:18

Report her.

When my dad first had dementia, I would take him shopping but he would want net to hang behind so he could still be independent.

Some of the things people would say about him broke my heart.

WhatsitWiggle · 06/07/2023 18:20

Report her. Her attitude was discriminatory, and having done some training on this today, the fact it is you not the victim raising it doesn't matter. I'd expect disciplinary action to be taken.

Gagaandgag · 06/07/2023 18:21

Absolutely report. Disgusting

3AndStopping · 06/07/2023 18:21

Good for you OP! I’m so glad you witnessed it otherwise this man would probably never have complained and she might of treated him like this frequently. So what if her photo is on twitter… if you want to act like an arsehole you deserve public shaming frankly.

ikno · 06/07/2023 18:27

Discrimination is awful however it’s essentially your word against hers here, as she might say she didn’t use those phrases verbatim. What you have described could be read subjectively - as in she hasn’t outright said or done something abusive, but something subject to interpretation of tone perhaps. It’s a bit much for you to take photos of her to splash on social media.

Ultimately each employer has their own disciplinary processes - next steps might be a management investigation where she’ll have the opportunity to present her side of events. They might not even act - they may not take your complaint as the whole truth because there’s no refutable evidence in a “he said, she said” situation. You won’t find out the HR outcome due to data protection which is why they sent you a generic email in response.

Being horrid to customers and discriminatory is not acceptable at all and if true, I hope she gets sacked. However I have also worked in retail and in public sector roles. Sometimes I have witnessed conversations between colleagues and members of the public, where a complaint would come through afterwards that I knew was exaggerated or untrue as I was a witness so I’m not sure much would come of this.

MMUmum · 06/07/2023 18:29

I witnessed a manager berating an employee at a shop till area, and she carried on despite the queue. I reported to head office as she obviously had no insight into her behaviour, and they needed to make sure she didn't do it again. They wrote a very nice reply saying this was not acceptable and that the area manager would pay a visit.

Verystressedsenmum · 06/07/2023 18:31

Oh this makes me so angry I have a disabled adult son and it gives me the rage that anyone is like this with the vulnerable.
I personally would of called her out at the time but I can see op why you didn’t and I’m glad we have people like you in the world op I’m glad you’ve complained it was the right thing to do .

loverrr · 06/07/2023 18:31

Yes but report to the store manager, not Head Office

Buggersticks · 06/07/2023 18:36

Wow. I'd have said something no matter who was with me. That is shocking. I hope he's ok.

Nanny0gg · 06/07/2023 18:38

Togiveandtoreceive · 06/07/2023 16:02

But what can they do?

I mean the victim in this scenario didn’t want to pursue it.

So it’s someone who overheard treatment of someone that they didn’t like but the person who endured it shrugged and walked away.

But it was witnessed.

So they can speak to the employee, warn if necessary and give her some more training.

And hopefully keep an eye on her

Lifeomars · 06/07/2023 18:39

Report her, it won't be the first time she will have behaved like this I'd guess. Poor man, what a horrible experience and well done to you for helping.

Changeshappenwhateverwedo · 06/07/2023 18:41

Greenfinc · 06/07/2023 14:54

This afternoon in a small branch of Lidl at the self service checkouts. Nobody was on the actual tills so no option to use them instead.

An elderly man needed some help scanning his shopping and was explaining to the employee overseeing the checkouts that he was partially sighted and was struggling to find the bar codes.

The employee was absolutely horrible to him saying being partially sighted doesn't mean he can't see and that there's a difference between being partially sighted and blind. Her attitude was vile.

She begrudgingly scanned his remaining items, as though he'd asked her to pay for them herself, and as he was collecting his change from the machine she sarcastically said "oh you managed to see that well enough did you"

I asked him if he needed any help and if he was ok and he explained that he'd had two surgeries on his eyes and couldn't see very well, and that he was only able to get about to the shop on his own as he knew and was used to it but struggled with the bar codes.

I told him I'd heard everything that woman had said to him and that I'm going to contact the head office about her and report exactly what I'd heard. He said he didn't want to make a fuss and that she was clearly just looking for an argument.

WIBU to report her to her employer regardless? I feel really sad about it and don't think somebody like that should be in a customer facing role working with members of the public. Horrible bully.

Please, please report her; it almost made me cry - my DF is partially blind and I would swing for anyone that spoke to him in that way!!!!!

Justme68 · 06/07/2023 18:46

I'd report her theys no need to be so rude !!

DarkDarkNight · 06/07/2023 18:49

Terrible behaviour. I’m so glad you’ve reported it through various channels.

she had no empathy whatsoever. Those self service machines are not always the easiest to use. It is going to be a real problem for some people as they get rid of more and more manned tills. I’m so sad to think of that poor man being treat like a nuisance.

Jumpingthruhoops · 06/07/2023 18:49

I'm seeing this sort of attitude more than ever now. Not sure where it's come from but people seem to be so entitled these days and have NO idea how to interact with other people.

CD2 · 06/07/2023 18:50

I would have reported her tbh. I'd have even asked to see the manager there and then.

Email/social media is just as good however. Vile woman she is

Mmhmmn · 06/07/2023 18:54

This makes me feel utterly sick to the stomach.

Mmhmmn · 06/07/2023 18:55

Definitely, please report her.

loveandpoprockz · 06/07/2023 18:55

Greenfinc · 06/07/2023 15:54

Well that was quick, I've had an email reply from Lidl customer services already. See attached

Their response is a bit lacklustre. I bet no action is taken.

Mmhmmn · 06/07/2023 18:56

Pop it on social media, then they'll quickly begin to care

LaDeeDa123 · 06/07/2023 18:59

I hate how budget supermarkets treat their customers. I’ve seen awful behaviour from Aldi staff. On one occasion a member of staff was slagging off an elderly gentleman for doing something wrong at the checkout. She was most surprised when I told her how out of order she was and how she should understand how elderly people have to do things in their own time. If elderly people’s own family aren’t around to protect them from this sort of thing we should always step in for them.