What's the funniest misunderstanding you've had?

[CuriousLadyBird]

Do you have a funny story about a misunderstanding where it be you've misunderstood something or another person has misunderstood you?

I'm just starting this thread because I thought about something that happened last week and giggled to myself.

I'm currently under the community mental health team as my mental health is not where I want it to be but next year I've been accepted on to a mental health nursing course and can start If my mental health is stable enough (just a bit of background).

So I had a home visit off someone from the CMHT and we were chatting and discussing my future etc and they asked what my goal was and I said "I think my long term goal is to be sitting where you are" and I meant like becoming qualified as a mental health nurse and helping people but this person must not have understood what I meant and said "Well you live here so you can sit here anytime you want".

I was a bit like what? But didn't say anything and carried on with the conversation so I don't know, I think maybe this person thinks my long term goal is to sit on the other side of the sofa (and I appreciate people with other mental health conditions may have issues sitting in certain places so maybe that's where we've got mixed up) but thinking back to it has really made me giggle.

Next time they come I might sit on that side of the sofa and they'll think I've reached my long term goal

When I was about 7 I overheard my dad talking about his salary - I was very perplexed as to why the school he taught at would be giving him celery - it didn’t seem like a fair thing to pay him!

At a similar age, we were doing the Romans, in school, and were all told to draw a picture of a Roman villa, not forgetting all the pillars used in Roman buildings. A girl in my class turned in a sheet of paper with loads of rectangles drawn on it, and nothing else. When the teacher asked her what she had drawn, she said “That’s all the pillows, Miss”.

Brilliant.

My sister, a teenager at the time, cleaned for a lovely elderly couple once a fortnight. The one day she turned up and the lady was upset and my sister asked why and she said "Well you see, I've lost my husband."
Cue my sister asking "Oh dear, where did you last see him? Come on, let's look around for him he can't have gone far." And started calling his name while walking through the house. Thankfully the lady found it funny, and it got her laughing while she corrected herself to my embarrassed and confused sister.

I was once asked to contribute a recipe to a charity recipe book. The final instruction was ‘cool for an hour or two before serving’. Unfortunately this was mistyped as ‘cook for an hour or two before serving’. I dread to think want kind of overcooked mess anyone following that recipe would have ended up with - and blamed me

My dad's friend, who I hadn't met before, was fixing an oil leak on my car. He held his hand out, to take my keys, but I half shook it half leant in for a friendly kiss on the cheek!!! God knows what I was thinking kissing a stranger but he found it very amusing.

Bookmarking this thread. Got to have a rest as my ribs are aching from laughing 😂

My friend saw a sign saying ‘bill posters will be prosecuted’ meaning you will be fined if you put posters up on the building. She asked who Bill Posters was.

My dh was talking about his cousin’s new husband. English isn’t his first language and so he often gestures with this hands before he speaks. He was telling me that the new husband was Italian, 32, then paused and gestured “yae high” about 1 metre from the ground

Me: “he’s a dwarf?”

<blank stare followed by tears>

DH: “no, he’s a paediatric consultant!”

This had me howling! I'll have to show it to my DH who just had surgery (no knickers on his head, as far as I know).

I went to the optician recently

English may not have been his first language.

He asked me, how is your sight?

I answered, shite

He replied, oh terribly sorry how is your shite? He then quickly realised what he had said and said no, not your shite your sight?

I said my sight is shite and spent the rest of my appointment trying to disguise my giggles as coughs

Me and my older brother - several years apart and independently as we only realised we both thought so when we grew up and were discussing things we thought when we were wee - thought the Wombles were common because they picked up rubbish.

Yes, we heard the "The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we" as "The Wombles of Wimbledon - Common are we"

Not that funny but DH thought he was going to a uni open day about the new paramedic degree and had a lovely chat with a bloke.

Turns out it was an applicant day he'd wandered in to and had also found himself in an interview with the course director. Got offered a place and was too embarrassed to tell them he hadn't meant to apply- been a senior paramedic nearly 10 years now 😂🤦‍♀️

There used to often be lots of dog poo in the garden bed next to one of the paths near my children's school, so when they were much younger and wanted to balance on the edge, I always had to remind them to get down, because they might misstep and put their foot in a dog poo.

One day after dropping the eldest off, I was walking back to the car with my middle child who was only about 3 years old. She pointed out something in that garden bed and said "That's dog poo." I replied, "no darling, I think that's just bark." My DD said, "yeah, when the dogs bark, that bark comes curling out of their nostrils." I laughed, and explained that this bark was from the outsides of the trees, but that, yes, dogs do bark. She looked at me and said in a questioning tone, "but nothing comes out of their nostrils?"

Bless her, so cute.

So many good stories here, but I'm crying at the woman obediently sucking on the dentist's finger 😄 @travelingtortoise

Concrete thinking in action 🤣🤣🤣

A friend was telling me about a really good film she watched. So I asked her what it was called. (A customer came in at this point) She said I’ll tell you later, so I said oh I’ve not heard of that one before. She just laughed. Then I realised she meant that she would tell me the name of the film later 🫣

The knicker hat one has got me.

I had a suspected water infection in pregnancy and was at the GP when she asked me to hop on to the bed to examine me. While she was typing notes I jumped on, whipped off my tights and knickers and waited for her to check me.

She turned her chair around and let out a little gasp and said "I just needed to feel baby in your tummy".

OH. MY.GOD.

Those pesky, knee biting, Scottish midgets!!! 😂

I'm crying again.

My DH was once politely asking my Mum how her poorly sister was doing. There was baffled silence from my Mum and me when we heard him say, "So how's her cunt?"

Appalled and bewildered, I said, "Sorry?"

"Her cunt. Her blood count."

DH was mortified when he realised what it sounded like!

@Ilovepugs2017 that reminds me of when I was telling a friend of mine about a terrible film I'd seen called, "Bag of Ants"
It's such a weird name for a film, she was really taken aback by it. I did say it wasn't really well received and had never been that famous as a result.
It was only when she kept asking about why the ants were in a bag that I realised she had misheard me telling her about the sub-par Will Smith film about golf caddy Bagger Vance.

A couple of months after giving birth my SIL approached me for some advice saying she had been a bit dry and it was affecting her relationship and sex life with my brother and had I been through the same. Feeling a bit awkward I just said I hadn’t had any issues and couldn’t advise really.

A few weeks later I seen an ad for some lubricant aimed for woman mainly going through menopause but I instantly thought of her - took a quick snap of the name and sent it to her saying that this might help. She replied thanks but she’s not sure she needs it and seemed quite confused. I reminded her of the conversation we had had and she replied that she had meant she felt quite numb and dry with her emotions and her vagina was fine. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry 😂

😂😂

😂😂😂😂 I am crying so hard right now - that is the funniest thing I've heard in ages.. why on earth would you even think you needed to wear a hat in surgery?

Thank you 😂😂😂😂

At school my friend saw an advert in the paper stating 'baby walker £5', you know those things that babies push to help them get around
She rang up to apply for the job she honestly thought it was a job just to walk a baby, like the equivalent of a dog walker

We did tennis at school and they were teaching us about the scoring I heard "Juice" instead of Deuce. I thought that was when you got a break and would be offered some orange juice. It took quite a few lessons before I realised that wasn't happening and asked someone why we never got the juice.