What's the funniest misunderstanding you've had?

[CuriousLadyBird]

Do you have a funny story about a misunderstanding where it be you've misunderstood something or another person has misunderstood you?

I'm just starting this thread because I thought about something that happened last week and giggled to myself.

I'm currently under the community mental health team as my mental health is not where I want it to be but next year I've been accepted on to a mental health nursing course and can start If my mental health is stable enough (just a bit of background).

So I had a home visit off someone from the CMHT and we were chatting and discussing my future etc and they asked what my goal was and I said "I think my long term goal is to be sitting where you are" and I meant like becoming qualified as a mental health nurse and helping people but this person must not have understood what I meant and said "Well you live here so you can sit here anytime you want".

I was a bit like what? But didn't say anything and carried on with the conversation so I don't know, I think maybe this person thinks my long term goal is to sit on the other side of the sofa (and I appreciate people with other mental health conditions may have issues sitting in certain places so maybe that's where we've got mixed up) but thinking back to it has really made me giggle.

Next time they come I might sit on that side of the sofa and they'll think I've reached my long term goal

I was just about to hand my parcel to the man at the Post Office counter . He said 'Hi , how's it going ? I was a bit embarrassed as I thought he must think he knew me so I said 'I'm fine , how are you ' . He said 'No, is your parcel going first or second class ' . Even more embarrassed 😯

😂😂😂😂😂

😂

I haven't got anything to contribute yet cos I need to think but I just want to thank you all for making me laugh as I'm having a really shitty day 💐

My sister was giving her name out over the phone. She said it's Anne with an E. The letter came addressed to Enn.

When I was a childminder we were walking through the town and passing Woolworths, which had a vending machine outside, with a big stuffed rabbit inside it. They had changed the machine after a few months of a machine with a parrot inside. Edward, aged three, looked very sad as we approached it, and said "Why did that rabbit eat the parrot?" I was a bit puzzled and then the rabbit started to speak. " Yummy Yummy Yummy, I've got a carrot in my tummy!"

A friend moved to the UK to improve her English. Whilst there, she joined a church choir. The accompanist had a birthday coming up so she went shopping for a card for him. Found one she thought was perfect, which said something along the lines of "I love what you do with your organ".
Fortunately she checked with the cashier...

First day of our holiday we sauntered into a pub for a cheeky afternoon pint. Bartender had a strong Jamaican accent and asked us if we were here for the week - but with his accent it sounded more like wake. I brightly responded no! we're here for a fortnight just when DH jammed me in the ribs and nodded towards all the other people there dressed in black.

He still ribs me about it years later.

These are cracking me up.

My sister isn't the brightest tool in the box much to our entertainment and she had purchased a present for my DH. A pair of loafer shoes from Next that come on the hanger so aren't boxed.

Anyways he opens them, really happy with the gift and she immediately cries

'Oh ffs no, give them to me I'll have to take them back'

All of us baffled as to why.

She says

'Some idiot has put the wrong size shoes on the hanger. Points to the big 'L' sticker on the bottom and the big 'R' sticker on the other.

'One is Large and one is Regular'

We all burst out laughing and she looks confused.

No sis, one means 'Left' and one means 'Right'...

Never let her live it down.

Years ago I had a night in with a guy who I wanted to become a friend with benefits. First time he come to my house I asked if I should stick a movie on? He said have you got anything blue (obviously meaning porn)
And I said " Erm... Finding Nemo has a lot of blue in it " 😂 Didn't put him of, we were shagging within 10 minutes.

Years ago I took our hamster to the vet along with my teenage daughter.
The vet was had an eastern european accent and was asking lots of questions trying to work out what could be wrong with our hamster.
He asked "Does she have fit?"
But I heard "Does she have feet?"
I'm saying " Oh yes she has four ,look" ( showing him her feet) , "they are all fine"
Cue my daughter looking at me like I'm a complete idiot, saying "FIT mum not FEET , he wants to know does she have FITS" 😁

First visit to England (I’m American and ended up moving to UK in 2001, this was in 1999) and chatting to guy about my vacation plans:
Me ‘I’m heading to Scotland next’
Him: ‘Lovely, but the midgets can be bad this time of year’
Me, very confused: There are a lot of midgets in Scotland?
Him: Yeah, biting ones.
Me: … is that like a genetic issue in Scotland?!
Him: I dunno, they can be horrible if you walk into a bunch of them
Me: Let me get this straight, in Scotland there are groups of aggressive biting midgets walking around?
Him: now dying of laughter, yeah they bite your knees

… was then explained to me what midges are. Where I’m from, we call them gnats.

This might out me as I've told the tale a hundred times - I was going down for surgery years ago but hadn't any knickers to put on under the gown and the nurse said she'd find me something. Time came, no sign of pants so porters came up/got gowned and hat on and down I went. Came round groggily and pulled off the hat. Which was actually a pair of paper knickers. I'd spent the operation wearing paper knickers on my head. WHAT MUST THEY HAVE THOUGHT?!

Many years ago I had a boyfriend who was lovely in many ways, but had a certain lifestyle that wasn't especially healthy, beers and pizza and that. I was having lunch with a friend and I said, "I think my boyfriend's Homer Simpson!"
"What makes you say that??" she said, very confused
"Well...he just sits around eating pizza and drinking beer"
"Huh. And...you think that's OK, do you?"
"Well, yeah. It doesn't bother me"

She seemed very concerned, and I couldn't understand why she was taking such an obvious joke so seriously. Until we realised that SHE thought I'd said homosexual.

When my son was around 15 I asked him to pop into the shop and get me a packet of Rich Tea. He came out and handed me a packed of English Breakfast teabags. I was bewildered and asked him what he had bought those for and he grumbled “they were the most expensive they had” (he thought rich meant expensive)!

😂

I had this from someone in reverse.

I was going to Iceland - the country - and had bought a ski-type coat. My boss is tight with the office heating so wore it to work one day.

Customer said they liked my coat and they bet it was warm.

I agreed and said I had bought it as I was going to Iceland soon.

Customer looked at me a bit weirdly and said that they were sure they had heating.

I sort of agreed, then twigged a bit later that the customer thought I meant I’d bought a new coat for going shopping in Iceland

Years ago, I’d spent a day in Kettering for work. When I got home, we had company, I said where I’d been, and friend said, is that where they do all the cooking?

Um, that would be catering.

In his defence, he was young and had only ever lived in London.

We went for lunch once at my brother-in-law’s house and the dessert was really runny instead of being set. Turned out, when the recipe had said “Now chill for 2-3 hours” he thought it meant him, not the dessert, so he’d just relaxed on the sofa for 3 hours thinking his work was done, leaving the dessert on the worktop when it needed to be in the fridge to set !!

😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'd just started working on a surgical ward doing admin when another ward rung asking about Ted Stockings. I checked our patient board but couldn't see Ted listed. So I asked the nurse in charge if she could chat to the nurse from another ward about Mr Stockings. She looked at me like I was crazy. Turns out the other ward were asking if they could borrow some of our stock of ted stockings!😂

😂😂😂

The Split one reminded me of the time someone was talking to me, DD and DP in the pub one day. I'm a teacher and DD is still at school (this is relevant). They asked if we were doing anything in the summer and I said (meaning me and DD) "well, we're breaking up next week so I'm free after that". They looked aghast at me and DP thinking we were being very casual about the imminent end of our relationship 😃 No, just the end of term!

😂😂😂

<<howling>>

As a child, dsis asked DM why our dbro had balls but she didn’t? Cue a very long explanation from our poor DM. Dsis only wanted to know why dbro had stuffing balls on his plate. She doesn’t even like stuffing!