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Original poster

What's the funniest misunderstanding you've had?

573 replies

CuriousLadyBird · 05/07/2023 23:42

Do you have a funny story about a misunderstanding where it be you've misunderstood something or another person has misunderstood you?

I'm just starting this thread because I thought about something that happened last week and giggled to myself.

I'm currently under the community mental health team as my mental health is not where I want it to be but next year I've been accepted on to a mental health nursing course and can start If my mental health is stable enough (just a bit of background).

So I had a home visit off someone from the CMHT and we were chatting and discussing my future etc and they asked what my goal was and I said "I think my long term goal is to be sitting where you are" and I meant like becoming qualified as a mental health nurse and helping people but this person must not have understood what I meant and said "Well you live here so you can sit here anytime you want".

I was a bit like what? But didn't say anything and carried on with the conversation so I don't know, I think maybe this person thinks my long term goal is to sit on the other side of the sofa (and I appreciate people with other mental health conditions may have issues sitting in certain places so maybe that's where we've got mixed up) but thinking back to it has really made me giggle.

Next time they come I might sit on that side of the sofa and they'll think I've reached my long term goal Grin

OP posts:
HirplesWithHaggis · 05/08/2023 01:50

MistressoftheDarkSide · 29/07/2023 09:46

When I was about 14 Spandau Ballet were playing in my town. Of course “all my friends” were going and I nagged my parents relentlessly to be allowed to go. My Mum was resolute - absolutely not. I was gutted.

The gig came and went and I felt like the only girl in the school who hadn’t gone. I was full of seething resentment.

A few weeks later I was allowed my weekly TOTP fix. Spandau came on, and my Mum watched them. This was in their very slick suited and booted phase. My Mum suddenly said:

”Now if you wanted to go and see a nice band like that, I would let you go - I might even come with you”.

Through incredulous and gritted teeth I said “That. Is. Spandau. Ballet”

Turns out that she thought I wanted to go and see some avant garde dance troupe likely to be highly unsuitable for a teenager…..

I learned a lot about communication skill from that.

Bless her, I do miss her …..

When you know what "Spandau Ballet" means, you understand your mum's reaction more.

(Sorry to put a downer on this otherwise hilarious thread.)

AuntieSoap · 05/08/2023 07:13

One evening, DD(13) and I were having a lovely evening chilling on the sofa, eating Oreos and watching a movie. She asks, "Mum, what's circumcised?"

Me: "Well, it's when a boy, often as a baby, has his foreskin removed from his...."

DD (aghast): "NO! NO! I said, what's a SERVING SIZE!"

NotOnYourNellies · 05/08/2023 09:57

OMG @AuntieSoap that's hilarious!
Off to Google for the SB meaning now

LaMaG · 05/08/2023 10:02

HirplesWithHaggis · 05/08/2023 01:50

When you know what "Spandau Ballet" means, you understand your mum's reaction more.

(Sorry to put a downer on this otherwise hilarious thread.)

Show quote history

My mum tried to confiscate a Savage Garden CD 🙄

CurlewKate · 05/08/2023 10:14

Was on an HIV/AIDS training course a million years ago. Doing role plays-everyone secretly assigned a role. One was going in very strange directions. Turned out the person thought a "rent boy" was the same as a "rent collector".....

Tinabiscuit · 05/08/2023 10:17

I live in rural Norfolk. My next-door neighbour (80s) gets a little competitive growing tomatoes. We'll call him Mervyn.

Mervyn: Havum you gawd any tormartoes comin' ready?
Tina: Yes we have a few ripening
Mervyn: Gawd any redduns yet?
Tina: No
Mervyn: Ima gawd some redduns comin - the wans what you give me
Tina: Really
Mervyn: Arp! (and he goes to get the label as proof)
Mervyn: (returned) 'ere ya are lookun: 'Ploguns'
Tina: Ploguns? Not one I've heard of...
Mervyn: Here look "Ploguns".
Tina: (she takes the label and turns it upside down) "SUNGOLD"

MistressoftheDarkSide · 05/08/2023 10:23

@HirplesWithHaggis

Yes, I agree….

In retrospect it’s really not the greatest band name…..and I do get it now …. Mea culpa….

gezzab33 · 05/08/2023 12:49

I had a very dim friend. We were watching a show about over protective parents. She was aghast that some mothers actually wrapped their kids in cotton wool.

HirplesWithHaggis · 05/08/2023 20:51

MistressoftheDarkSide · 05/08/2023 10:23

@HirplesWithHaggis

Yes, I agree….

In retrospect it’s really not the greatest band name…..and I do get it now …. Mea culpa….

See also Joy Division. :(

thenightsky · 05/08/2023 20:57

HirplesWithHaggis · 05/08/2023 01:50

When you know what "Spandau Ballet" means, you understand your mum's reaction more.

(Sorry to put a downer on this otherwise hilarious thread.)

Show quote history

You've reminded me of a lovely, very old, German lady I met (friend of a friend) who was the widow of Rudolph Hess's guard at Spandau. She told me her DH spent most of his time playing chess.

Akitamum · 05/08/2023 21:29

When I was a teenager the man from the Prudential insurance company used to come round monthly to collect payment. He was a small quiet man, we had a staffie dog who was friendly, jumping up looking for attention. My dad got fed up with her carry on and yelled Sit! and the poor man sat down so fast on the sofa 😆We all were crying with laughter, poor guy did see the funny side thankfully. I still laugh when I think of it and I am heading towards 50 now 😂

Helenloveslee4eva · 05/08/2023 21:52

DoctorWoo · 19/07/2023 17:14

@ExitThroughTheGiftShop it's maybe not so bizarre... Dawn O Porter had her beloved cat stuffed after it died, apparently!

To which the only answer is …
better than before it died I guess 🤣

jcyclops · 05/08/2023 23:04

Many years ago (pre-mobile phones), my teenage friends "David Smith" and "Susan Jones" were entering a serious relationship. Susan decided to send a pretty hot love letter to David. Unfortunately David was actually David Smith Jr and the letter was opened by David Smith Sr - causing serious ructions between Mr & Mrs Smith - until Junior finally owned up!

jcyclops · 05/08/2023 23:07

A friend returned from a skiing holiday and sent a complaint to the holiday company because the hotel was at the bottom of a big hill.

nothingcomestonothing · 06/08/2023 10:07

My DM in her youth worked in the office of a brewery, taking calls from the Barton Arms, the Kings's Arms, the Vauxhall Arms etc etc. One day had a perplexing call with a man from the Chubble Arms - she said they didn't have a Chubble Arms on their system, he said they did it had been there for ages, she said it definitely wasn't there, etc etc eventually he said he'd come tomorrow and sort it. Turns out he was from Chubb Alarms and wanted to fix the security system.

NannyOggsWhiskyStash · 06/08/2023 14:30

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 06/07/2023 14:54

This was very many years ago (1980s). My father worked in the insurance industry. One day he came home and my mother said to him “John called. He is wondering what to do after A levels and he was wondering if you could have a chat with him about your job.” John (not real name but it was a similarly common name) was the son of a friend of my parents. John was also the name of the son (same age) of their next door neighbour.

DF was a man of few words and just got up and went next door while DM was cooking dinner. He rang the bell and when John next door answered (his parents were out and he was at home studying) DF told him he had come to have a chat with him about the insurance industry. John proceeded to listen to my DF tell him all about insurance and his job and how he got to be doing what he was doing. My DF is really a very unassuming man, so this would have been a very low key conversation, not at all bossy or lecturing in tone (which is maybe why John put up with it), but it still makes us laugh out loud to consider what John must have been thinking. DF was gone nearly an hour. John made him a cup of tea and was very polite. DF says he seemed quite interested!

My DF came home (still none the wiser) and only then found out he had got the wrong John; when he told DM where he had been.

DF went back next door the next day and explained to John’s parents. The neighbours laughed about it, but the funniest thing is that John had not even mentioned it to them. Neighbour John went to study chemistry. Other John went into the police.

This is hilarious!

popcornfrenzy · 07/08/2023 05:12

This is going to be very outing as I've told it a few times...

I started working at a crematorium and one of the tasks is to take families out into the grounds to scatter loved ones ashes.

It was the very first time doing this - so I met the daughter in the family area. We were going to scatter her mother. I asked if we were ready to go and checked I had the location correct. She answered 'my dad is already there.' I said 'how lovely, they're going to be reunited.' She said 'oh, he's very much alive and sat on the bench waiting for us'

Honestly, I was mortified and they thought it hilarious. luckily they laughed about it but it could have gone the other way. I chose my words very carefully after that.

PeanutButterOnToad · 07/08/2023 05:52

My French FIL loved a nice rabbit stew. Driving through the Kent countryside he saw a sign “rabbits for sale”. He went in and asked for two rabbits, and could they skin them and have them pot ready please. Of course they were selling pet rabbits and the guy was horrified. FIL was surprised they refused to sell him any after that.

TheFireflies · 07/08/2023 08:27

JustDanceAddict · 04/08/2023 22:00

Teen DS was learning to cook and I was helping him with a recipe. He asked me if we had any more garlic and I wondered why he wanted more as we had a whole one on the side - he thought ‘2 cloves’ meant 2 bulbs 😆 that would’ve been interesting!!

When I was 18 and I cooked for my boyfriend, I made this mistake. He tried really hard to eat it, too 😂

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 07/08/2023 08:47

Shopping list misreadings are a whole category of misunderstanding but the funniest I have ever heard of was someone on here who wrote ‘loo rolls’ on the list and her husband thought it said ‘100 rolls’.
So that is what he bought….

Skye99 · 11/08/2023 15:52

ilovepixie · 04/08/2023 21:19

That's just mean. That's bullying.

Show quote history

I think so too.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 11/08/2023 16:01

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 07/08/2023 08:47

Shopping list misreadings are a whole category of misunderstanding but the funniest I have ever heard of was someone on here who wrote ‘loo rolls’ on the list and her husband thought it said ‘100 rolls’.
So that is what he bought….

There’s an episode of One Foot in the Grave where Victor moans about going to three different shops to find the Polish Sherry Margaret asked for. She’s completely confused until she goes through the shopping and says “He’s forgotten my polish…” then it suddenly clicks 😁

Premfove · 11/08/2023 16:52

My cousin had to answer a question on a (GSCE equivalent) exam about her "pet hates" she wrote a whole essay about how their dog hates bees 🤣

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