Am I being too soft - sports day.

[Nervouswreck25]

back story
daughters school sports day is a big event, they go to a big park and all years compete the same day and all parents are mainly there. They don’t do like 1st place individual stickers or anything like that
but they are grouped in to 4 house colours.
so they all compete in each race so for example
normal running race - 1 from each house will run and who ever wins go threw to the next round and the other 3 are eliminated.
then the next set go etc
then the 4 winners race against each-other to determine who wins the race. If the winner is from blue team then they get the the most points and second gets less points and 3rd less.
it is extremely competitive and the houses always want to win as they get a house treat.
my daughter has significant health needs as well as physical disabilities. She is in a right mess about sports day coming up because she knows her house will moan that it’s not fair and they won’t get enough points. Especially in races like relay races etc where it’s a team effort.
she also hates that there is so many people watching her when she just can’t do it. I had decided it wasn’t worth her being so stressed out about it and a friend / school mum said it wasn’t teaching her anything by letting her bail.
she said some kids are not good at maths but they have to sit their maths exams - I don’t think this is the same. The other children can not see their answers, there is no crowed of people watching and their answers don’t effect others grades so no moaning. she participates in PE the best she can but the thought of sports day and being embarrassed is so bad for her !
AIBU or is she correct ?

I'd let her skip it. It doesn't matter what the other mum thinks.

I'd let her skip it as well.

Oh god not another sports day thread!!

She'd be having a sick day if she were my child and the friend/school could do one! Ridiculous situation - sport is not the same as maths. Sports days should be fun, not uber competitive.

Let her skip it.

my daughter has significant health needs as well as physical disabilities.

They need to make reasonable adjustments.
Either put her in a 'para olympics' style group of others with similar needs, give her a headstart, or more easily let her not participate but be eg the finishing tape holder.

Speak to school. A decent school that cares about diversity and inclusion should design the activities in such a way that there is a level playing field for the disabled students. It only takes a bit of imagination.

And look, @TeenDivided came up with some excellent suggestions. You need to make school step up and allow her to participate rather than excluding her (or even worse, making the kids exclude her).

Wow ok a few answers, the reason we were discussing it was because we got the email whilst we were together. So it started the conversation about sports day.
I am not offended by her, just as a parent was taking on board what she said and whether her sheltering her was the correct thing to do.
its a mums group about all sorts of things so was just expressing my doubts and how they come about. So sorry to those people who think it shouldn’t be something I ask mumsnet.

in terms of the school I have emailed them but it wasn’t about the schools response ( I have no had that yet )

thank you for those who offered the answers yes or no.

As above. Speak to school and ask them to come up with something she can do eg help with the scoring, teachers' right hand girl etc.

The school's a bit dopey if they haven't already thought of a way of including her and boosting her confidence.

The school should have a plan in place for her. If they haven’t then that’s terrible.
Talk to the school asap. If they can’t give a sensible answer or plan then say “she won’t be participating then”.

i would definitely let her skip it! (And I’m a teacher!) I am autistic and found sports at school total agony/ torture. All being forced to do them taught me was a hatred of exercise. I was well into my 20s before I realised I could actually enjoy some sport. Let her stay home.

@Itsdecisiontimeisitnot sorry I meant if me sheltering her was the correct thing to do.

My kids are the type that may win/ may lose a few events on sports day so for them it's a great life lesson. I 100% agree that its NOT worthwhile for children like your daughter, it just seems humiliating and I wouldnt force her to do it either.

I worked in a mainstream primary school where we integrated children with physical disabilities. All of them took part with adaptations made because that was the aim! All the other children cheered them on. Pupils who moan at someone for not being good enough are the ones to be excluded or taught tolerance of others at least. That's what integration and equal opportunities is about.