Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School being unreasonable?

95 replies

SoccerMum1 · 03/07/2023 23:28

Hey all,

Is DS14's school being unreasonable here? Both me and DS think so and I don't have a problem with it really

DS14's been given a lunch time detention tomorrow for not having the right socks on!! He's worn trainer socks (as he says it's summer and too warm for regular ones) instead of normal ankle socks.

Is the school being too harsh here?

YANBU - school is not being too harsh
YABU - School is being too harsh

OP posts:
echt · 03/07/2023 23:30

As stupid as uniforms are, if it's the rules, it's the rules.

Cynderella · 03/07/2023 23:31

As a teacher: I suspect uniform requirements have been shared, and SLT have passed down edict saying detentions must be issued. Once lines are crossed, you (as a school) have to hold the line or be prepared for more rules to be challenged.

As a parent: I agree it seems a trivial reason, but it's a lesson. Choose to challenge the rules, take the consequences. Do the detention.

MossCow · 03/07/2023 23:36

They can't start changing the uniform policy all of the time. If it's in there it's in there, so have a look. At our school the boys have to wear ankle socks and the girls have to wear knee sleeves socks. There is no trainer sick option.

It's bollocks like this that takes up valuable time. Both the children's time and the staff.

WandaWonder · 03/07/2023 23:42

"Yeah but they need to make an exception because I decided I am more important than following the rules so I can do what I like" is basically what you are saying

Windowcleaning · 03/07/2023 23:42

Them's the rules, I'm afraid. Agree it seems trivial but that's how it is.

It's annoying when something that you've worn before is suddenly sanctioned, I agree, but a lunchtime detention will be over very quickly.

Maddy70 · 03/07/2023 23:51

Rules are rules. He knew then. He broke the. Take the detention. Comply next time

Original poster
SoccerMum1 · 10/07/2023 12:28

Hey all,

Posting here to vent and get it out - not sure whether to be really annoyed with ds or let it slide!!

DS decided this morning, to rebel, to wear his black air force 1 trainers instead of his school shoes, and to top it off, rather than wear normal black socks (which is what he got the detention for), he's worn them without any socks (or invisible socks maybe) - hard to tell as he rushed out the house as I was asking

Should I let it slide, or contact the school and see if they're gonna give him a detention or see what he says.. really confused

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 10/07/2023 12:31

What are you confused about? He’s taking the piss. Time for some consequences.

PuttingDownRoots · 10/07/2023 12:31

YANBU to find certain uniform rules stupid.

If he has the correct uniform and choses not to wear it, he can accept the consequences though!

JazbayGrapes · 10/07/2023 12:39

"Yeah but they need to make an exception because I decided I am more important than following the rules so I can do what I like" is basically what you are saying

It's hot. and its socks. This is how young people lose respect for authority figures.

speluncean · 10/07/2023 12:40

I would absolutely leave him to it at this point.

But if he gets a detention then that's on him.

HurricanesHardlyEverHappen · 10/07/2023 12:40

Should I let it slide, or contact the school and see if they're gonna give him a detention or see what he says.. really confused

But it's not your decision. You don't care what he wears on his feet, clearly, so you have nothing to 'let slide'.

The school will either give him a detention or they won't. Then he will either do it again or he won't. Life will go on.

Different people have different interest and life goals. My sixteen year old is trying to shave a tenth of a second of her hurdles PB so she can get into the commonwealth games. Your son is very interested in socks.

Brefugee · 10/07/2023 12:42

As ever: this kind of school uniform rule is batshit (but: he got caught and should take the punishment)

Kids and parents need to work with the school to get better rules in place
(FWIW - because do often the answer revolves round "preparing them for the world of work - in my office the only man in long trousers is wearing a suit for a client visit. He changed into it from shorts & flip-flops. The other partners are all in shorts & flip-flops)

BluNomad · 10/07/2023 12:44

To be honest I have no respect for anything the schools try to enforce given their blatant disregard for parents/children by going on ridiculous strikes. I wouldn’t bother turning up for the detention

baconcrisp · 10/07/2023 13:13

This reply has been deleted

This user is a troll so we have deleted their posts and threads.

ButterCrackers · 10/07/2023 13:22

HurricanesHardlyEverHappen · 10/07/2023 12:40

Should I let it slide, or contact the school and see if they're gonna give him a detention or see what he says.. really confused

But it's not your decision. You don't care what he wears on his feet, clearly, so you have nothing to 'let slide'.

The school will either give him a detention or they won't. Then he will either do it again or he won't. Life will go on.

Different people have different interest and life goals. My sixteen year old is trying to shave a tenth of a second of her hurdles PB so she can get into the commonwealth games. Your son is very interested in socks.

Perhaps her son already is in a sports team or something else that’s selective? If so you could ask the OP for some advice yourself.
My advice to you is check on the socks your kid is wearing. The time might be achieved if any appropriate change in attire can be achieved.

vivainsomnia · 10/07/2023 13:29

Should I let it slide, or contact the school and see if they're gonna give him a detention or see what he says.. really confused
What do you mean? You say it yourself, he purposely rebelled breaking the rules. Why would you challenge a detention?

x2boys · 10/07/2023 14:05

This reply has been deleted

This user is a troll so we have deleted their posts and threads.

No she didn't ,she would have been done for assault and rightly so🙄

x2boys · 10/07/2023 14:08

Stupid rule,but if that's what it is than your son should abide by it
Let me guess is it an academy?

cuckyplunt · 10/07/2023 14:09

put him in the uniform socks, there are bridges worth dying on.. not this one!

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 10/07/2023 14:10

I hardly think a trainer sock vs a normal ankle sock is going to make much difference on your sons temperature 🙄

Wear the correct uniform, its not that hard!!

My sons school checks every student as they file in the school gate every morning. Wrong uniform and straight off to isolation they go. Since they started doing it the amount of incorrect uniform or missing uniform has dropped. No more girls rolling their skirts up to indecent levels or missing ties.

It's about learning to follow rules, ready for the big wide world which is full of rules.

baconcrisp · 10/07/2023 14:17

This reply has been deleted

This user is a troll so we have deleted their posts and threads.

Epicstorm · 10/07/2023 14:28

BluNomad
To be honest I have no respect for anything the schools try to enforce given their blatant disregard for parents/children by going on ridiculous strikes.

Comments like this make me despair. Take your head out of the sand and look what the issues are. I can’t believe people can be so unaware, particularly anyone with children still in education. You ought to be thanking the teachers involved for their action to benefit pupils. State education is a mess. It’s been limping on for years thanks to the goodwill of staff which is finally running out.

x2boys · 10/07/2023 14:32

This reply has been deleted

This user is a troll so we have deleted their posts and threads.

Its great she was done for assault ,not sure what lesson she thought ahe was teaching Her daughter though

StarsShineBrightly · 10/07/2023 14:44

My DD regularly goes in with non uniform socks on, rolls up her skirt etc. I can fight with her and she'll still do it. So I leave it up to the school. After 2 years she finally got a detention for uniform! We accepted graciously! She knows she's breaking the rules, I know she's breaking the rules. She has to deal with the consequences.

Swipe left for the next trending thread