School being unreasonable?

[SoccerMum1]

Hey all,

Is DS14's school being unreasonable here? Both me and DS think so and I don't have a problem with it really

DS14's been given a lunch time detention tomorrow for not having the right socks on!! He's worn trainer socks (as he says it's summer and too warm for regular ones) instead of normal ankle socks.

Is the school being too harsh here?

YANBU - school is not being too harsh
YABU - School is being too harsh

I think uniform policies like this are rediculous. However the difference between trainer and ankle socks is rarely existent so your child can't play the 'it's too warm' card. As much as I think these things are nuts if it's the policy then it's the policy.

Uniform policies aren’t about uniform, ultimately.

If you want 1000+ young people to comply, and you can’t run a school or have any learning unless they do, then you need to have rules that are followed and punishments for those that don’t.

They need to feel part of the whole.

Kids beefing about socks aren’t throwing chairs and setting fires to things, at the extreme.

And I’d implore anyone who doesn’t understand that to come and work a week in a school, including a non-uniform day, and tell me it doesnt make a difference (or that teachers are all taking the piss with their strikes or whatever else bullshit was upthread).

But there's a big difference between a non uniform day and a uniform policy that dictates length of socks. There's a sensible half way point in between with a sensible uniform policy.

Unfortunately that doesn’t change my opinion; I have had no end of problems with school/teacher’s conduct aside from the strikes, that’s just the straw that broke camels back for me. Zero support or sympathy from me anymore

You need to support the school and I’d be putting in an additional punishment at home too like removing devices.

I would never allow my DC to go to school in incorrect uniform.

An extra punishment for socks?

@Remotecontrolatmyside

He knows he needs to wear correct uniform, which means smart black socks.

He’s get punished for the socks and punished for not wearing correct school shoes in my house.

Different people have different interest and life goals. My sixteen year old is trying to shave a tenth of a second of her hurdles PB so she can get into the commonwealth games. Your son is very interested in socks

And her mother leaves barbed little comments over a parenting website:
we all indeed have different interests and life goals.

Why do you think the strikes are ridiculous? Nearly 9% of teachers in the UK left last year - this doesn’t include people retiring. The government repeatedly isn’t meeting recruitment targets. The government offered a pay rise of 4.3% in March and it was rejected, mostly because it wasn’t funded and teachers are fully aware that education would suffer if they accepted it as schools can’t afford it. If it was funded by DoE then teachers probably would have accepted it. The government has since commissioned independent pay review into teachers pay but refused to release it. Parts of it were leaked included the recommended 6.5% increase.

I can only speak from my personal experience with the school my dc attends; to force parents to take unpaid days off work given the col currently & the frankly substandard level of basic education (my dc’s teacher is only in class 2 days out of 5 & covered by various other teaching assistants on 3 mostly sen) I don’t think they are in a position to expect support from parents. Anyway I don’t want to hijack this thread with all the problems I’ve had but there are multiple issues I’ve had with conduct of teachers, closing ranks, blatant lies & parent blaming for their own failings

Christ how punitive. Ridiculous rules can't say I blame your son's defiance but unfortunately on his head any consequences unless he wants to contemplate a change of school/ home ed.

OP's son is a free-thinker who doesn't believe in obeying orders that don't make sense to him just because someone said so.

Your DD likes running and jumping. Good show.

I think it's fair enough if he doesn't follow the uniform rules. That's up to him. He's old enough to make his own sock decisions. But I wouldn't get involved with it myself. Let him get on with it, wear the socks he wants to wear and do the detentions he has to do if that's what he wants.

Its a rule, a stupid one granted, but I suppose they have to enforce all the rules otherwise there would be mayhem.

But it is a ridiculous rule.

He is obviously wanting to rebel even more now, perhaps due to its ridiculousness and therefore is making a stand in his own way. Nothing saopping him voicing his opinion on it as he obviously feels strongly about it, and wearing the wrong socks to try and prove his point.

It unfortunately likely won't get him far, just as far as another detention I expect.

If he is otherwise fine at school and a good kid I'd just let him crack on, wear what socks he wants (but suggest maybe he should just wear the correct ones) and he'll soon learn he will get nowhere and have to wear the right socks eventually once hes fed up of detentions. But at 15, if he wants to try and make his point, i'd let him. If he was 8, different kettle of fish, but hes old enough to decide if this is the hill he wants to die on or not.

Imagine being the teacher that spends their time checking out the length of children's socks.

YANBU - that is bonkers.

The trainers though - that is provoking consequences.

If you support your child in defying a rule he disagrees with, you’re a bit stuck when he decides he disagrees with one of your rules…

@YeCannaeChangeTheLawsOfPhysics

All students at the DCs’ school have their uniform checked every morning and spot checks take place throughout the day.

Any infractions they cannot be addressed immediately results in the DC going straight to isolation. Wearing trainers would result in detention for a week.

Imagine being the teacher of a pupil who thinks the rules don’t apply to them.

It’s fairly normal for teens to push a bit against rules. It really isn’t the sign of some sort of social deviance.

It's absolutely not detention worthy. It really lessens the point of actually following rules.

@Irequireausername

As a parent, I would absolutely expect DC who refuse to follow rules to be placed in detention.

Depends what the rules say. If they are clear and he deliberately went against them then of course he should get detention. If the rules don't mention socks but a teacher has taken exception to them then a detention would be unreasonable.

As a parent, and?

You need to support the school and I’d be putting in an additional punishment at home too like removing devices.

The punishment is the detention, why then punish him again at home. It’s a bit overkill for the sake of a pair of socks, let the school discipline him for his infraction of their (ridiculous) rule.

Given how stretched school staff seem to be, having someone check every child’s uniform (1,000 kids plus) for the right socks seems a bit disproportionate but if that’s how they chose to spend their time, your son will need to do the detention.