School being unreasonable?

[SoccerMum1]

Hey all,

Is DS14's school being unreasonable here? Both me and DS think so and I don't have a problem with it really

DS14's been given a lunch time detention tomorrow for not having the right socks on!! He's worn trainer socks (as he says it's summer and too warm for regular ones) instead of normal ankle socks.

Is the school being too harsh here?

YANBU - school is not being too harsh
YABU - School is being too harsh

Absolutely ridiculous. I'd tell them no tbh

You’d be out the door at the DCs’ school then @clpsmum.

I do not agree with social standards, children should be allowed to demonstrate autonomy over themselves without rules. Otherwise we are all just stupid selfish sheep that follow an agenda set by others.

DS decided this morning, to rebel, to wear his black air force 1 trainers instead of his school shoes, and to top it off, rather than wear normal black socks (which is what he got the detention for), he's worn them without any socks (or invisible socks maybe) - hard to tell as he rushed out the house as I was asking

It's a fairly simple story.

• student chooses to ignore uniform rules and see if they get away with it
• student gets challenged
• school put in place a, likely, well-established sanction

Twas ever thus.

Most students have the good grace to accept when they get caught (like millions of teens before then).

A minority have parents who think they should complain because it's difficult when it's their child.

Sounds very strict!!

Sorry but DC are hardly going to die from having to wear a blazer in a U.K summer. They may get a bit hot but they will learn that they have to follow rules and instructions.

They may not die, but I’ll bet they aren’t learning much either. I’m not sure learning to follow arbitrary rules that undermine their comfort and productivity, with no positive outcome, is something I think is helpful preparation for the world of work.

He's wearing a pair of socks that keep his feet/legs cooler it's really not a problem. It's not like he's turned up in flip flops. I'd be asking to see their dress code for both staff and pupils tbh. Do women have to wear tights with a skirt in the summer? Do girls?

@clpsmum

I wouldn’t say it’s strict- more a school with high standards. The headteacher sets the rules and any parents or DC who persistently don’t want to or can’t comply will be invited to meet with him. That will usually result in being asked to look at other schools or being managed out.

@SummerDuck I do follow rolls but not having long enough socks is a ridiculous rule. If they asked me to look for another school on that basis I'd be looking at legal advice. The rule is ridiculous

Are you Boris' mum?

I wouldn’t say it’s strict- more a school with high standards. The headteacher sets the rules and any parents or DC who persistently don’t want to or can’t comply will be invited to meet with him. That will usually result in being asked to look at other schools or being managed out.

So children who have sensory issues who can’t tolerate the uniform, parents who are economically disadvantaged, kids with additional support needs that impact their behaviour would be managed out? That’s not high standards, it’s discriminatory and oppressive practice. Not to mention illegal.

I suspect that his school uniform isn't the only interest he has! (I'd also suggest that your daughter widens her interests as a lot can change before 2026!

I think this level of strictness around uniforms is unreasonable, but presumably the policy is published and your DS knows what it is so, unfortunately, he should either comply with it or expect to be punished if he's caught not wearing the correct uniform.

I would laugh a little gleefully inside at the wearing of trainers the following day...but I would expect him to get another detention and to suck it up.

When I went to school we didn't have to wear uniform in primary school (which had no impact on behaviour) but did have to wear it in high school and the school were extremely strict about enforcing it, particulary for junior students. I remember the principal standing in the corridor each time the bell went, checking each student walking past had the correct colour hair band and regulation length socks etc. Completely ridiculous and just made students rebel in other ways / see what they could get away with.

Hey all,

Just thought i'd give a quick update - had a chat with DS after he got back

DS ended up wearing his black air forces instead of his normal school shoes - he said the teachers didn't see this / let him off for it.

Also, to rebel against the sock rules - he decided to not wear any socks at all, which he seemed to like, and find comfy, although he's left his airforces to air out today after various amounts of febreeze spray!!

He's back in his normal school shoes today - although with invisible socks, i've told him it's up to him to deal with the consequences, and he can wear what ever he finds comfy - it's not effecting his learning so not bothering me

He may as well be hung for a sheep.

As a teenager I'd have seen that as a licence to get away with more as they can't really escalate a uniform issue past a lunchtime detention.

That was my logic to bunking off school, you were probably going to get punished but throwing in missing homework to the mix didn't have any impact. So you may as well maximise the misbehaviour for the punishment

He's back in his normal school shoes today - although with invisible socks, i've told him it's up to him to deal with the consequences, and he can wear what ever he finds comfy - it's not effecting his learning so not bothering me
That sounds reasonable OP.

They're teens, they'll see what they can get away with, and as long as they accept what happens if/when they're challenged then that's fine

The issues happen when students knowingly ignore the rules and then when challenged their parents are up in arms about how awful it is that their child has to follow the same rules as everyone else.

My sons school checks every student as they file in the school gate every morning. Wrong uniform and straight off to isolation they go. Since they started doing it the amount of incorrect uniform or missing uniform has dropped. No more girls rolling their skirts up to indecent levels or missing ties.

the more i read about (some) British schools the more batshit i think they are in respect of uniform.
Completely and utterly batshit.

As an aside. I never wore a tie to school after juniors. (open necked shirts for us at my girls school). Did i receive a substandard education because of that?

😂😂.

i have.
it was the Army tho.

Do schools not have PTAs and school councils any more? This is the kind of thing that the school council and PTA could work on: a sensible uniform policy, rather than some head barking "detention" at someone over the length of their socks.

Yes, you should play by the rules, and if you break them and are caught you need to accept the punishment.
But you should also question rules that are batshit too petty or meaningless, and also there should be a system of reasonable sanction/punishment, which also should be discussed. This kind of thing (discussion over rules that seem overzealous or whatever) is good for children to learn