How can I breastfeed in public discreetly?

[flawless29]

Hello Everyone,

I'm wondering if anyone has any tips on how to discreetly breastfeed in public. I'm still quite nervous about feeding my 4-month-old boy in public. I've tried giving him bottles, but he's honestly very fussy about taking them!

I've managed to breastfeed in public a few times by finding secluded spots, like a bench in the park. However, I'd like to feel comfortable latching my baby on in busier public places, such as restaurants, in front of friends, or at busy soft play centers, rather than feeling like I always have to hide.

Currently, I'm wearing clothes with buttons that I undo from the top, allowing me to breastfeed while covering up with a muslin cloth. But the process of latching isn't very discreet, and if the muslin were to slip, my whole breast would be exposed! While I find this method somewhat easier, I realize the most discreet approach might be to lift my top up and wear a vest top underneath to pull down, so only the necessary part of my breast is exposed.

The clammy, muggy weather doesn't help either, as it's uncomfortable to wear multiple layers of clothing along with a stuffy nursing bra and pads. Do you all feed your babies only in changing rooms or breastfeeding rooms? I'd appreciate any advice, tips, or nursing vest recommendations.

I'm wondering if I'm just being too self-conscious and overthinking this.

I prefer the one up-one down method of wearing a strappy vest with something loose like a cotton tee or linen summer top over the top and then you can just yank one up and down leaving no flesh uncovered (as baby's head helpfully shields your boob)

I wore a BF vest top under a loser top. I would pull that down and then the other top up, but becuase it was lose it would cover most of the breast anyway. That was my easiest "go to" solution for discreet public breastfeeding and no messing around with buttons etc.

But really, I was never particularly worried. You are feeding a baby, not sexually exposing yourself.

I used to sit facing a corner or a wall.
I wore a loose top that I would lift up, so it kept my chest and the top of my boob covered. Sometimes I would throw a blanket over my shoulder to cover me as well.

I used to do the one up, one down so a vest top under another top. But other than that I didn't really think about it. If anyone is really intently staring at you, which is highly unlikely, they might get a brief flash of nipple but really it doesn't matter.

I just cracked on everywhere and anywhere. Never had a comment. Never tried to cover up with a muslin or one of those covers which just draw more attention.

Agree to the vest top under another top. You can get a lot of bandeau/boob tube type tops at this time of year which are good under something and cover the stomach area nicely without leaving you with a million straps.

Agree with everyone else. A top you lift up is always going to cover you more than a shirt you open. I also wore a stretchy vest top underneath that I would pull down. That way my stomach wasn't exposed too.

I remember a couple of friends, when they were breastfeeding their kids, had kind of bib/cape things they could put on and breastfeed under that. I don't know the proper name though or where you get them.

My youngest is 10 now, but when he was a baby I had a breastfeeding cover that you pop over your head and it covered him up. The top bit had a sort of stiff loop in that stuck out, so you could look down and see the baby and he'd get air flow. It also meant when out and about in say a restaurant, he would feed without being too distracted with everything going on around.

Same as others, one top up one down. Never used anything else to cover up, I think that almost draws attention. when baby is lying feeding no one can see anything.

But to be fair, no one ever noticed and if they did they never said anything. First time or so I was nervous after that I fed anywhere and everywhere when needed.

When it’s hot, I liked either a dress with straps I could pull down/unbutton + a tshirt on top instead of a muslin (just while feeding, I’d take it off again after - if can’t fall off like a muslin can), or a high waisted skirt plus a loose tshirt on top, tucked in when not feeding. The skirt would cover my belly and the baby would cover the rest. What works best for you does depend a bit of your shape and personal style though.

I had dresses or shirts with front buttons, but I also had a special scarf thing, that went around your neck, I will try and remember what it was called . It had a padded area at the top which formed a curve so that you could look down and see your baby. I am a large cup size and I was living in a city, I didn’t want to have to flash my whole breast in very busy places like on the train, so it was good for that. I will see if I can find a link. It was easier than having to wear layers in really hot weather, the Summer my baby was six months old was in incredibly hot.

The b shirt are a company that do great vest tops - I wear them under everything I also have friends that use covers that sort of wrap around them so they can’t slip off. I found that at your point I was still anxious about it but the more I fed in public the easier it was. I once fed dd walking through a hospital when she was poorly and so many people must have seen that after that I was a lot more like, eff it! Also in bigger town centres places like John Lewis have feeding rooms. Or i try and duck into quieter cafes and sit near the back or in a corner to be discreet.

I know they can be controversial but I do get use out of my breastfeeding cover, especially once baby started to be distracted during feeds and would regularly let go and expose me to have a look at what was going on. I also use it when feeding around family like in-laws - I just wouldn’t be comfortable with them getting a glimpse of my nipples!

Also.have someone take a photo of you while you BF. You will see that you can basically see nothing at all of your boob. You feel much more exposed looking down.

I just wore loose tops that I could lift up. Never bothered with vests as well.
Honestly if you just get on with, and don't make a fuss, no-one will notice.
If you're worried find a corner in a cafe or soft play etc and face away from the rest of the room. The more you do it the easier it gets.

I always lifted my top up. It's discreet and baby gets to the stage where they just know what to do, so it's fast and easy.

I have remembered what it was called, the Bebe au Lait cover. Just hooks over your neck. Cotton scarfy thing that covers everything and gives you a little private space, but also helped my very distractible baby feed calmly rather than latching on and off all the time to look at people around us, with me then spurting milk .

I had a navy raglan loose top in a size bigger than i normally wore and a primark long navy vest with the straps extended to full so it was easy to pull up & pull down. I washed and wore these constantly!

Also bear in mind that by 6 months your baby will be probably at that stage where they will latch at the speed of light and feed quickly and efficiently so it's much easier than that faffing and latching and have they had enough and why did they just yank my muslin away. You both become pros basically!

I really liked my b shirt as well - they do vests and t-shirts. Seemed to be more discrete than any other method I tried.

I also did the strapping vest down, t shirt up approach. I did buy one of those cape things but found it faffy and more noticeable you’re feeding than the vest approach.

I say this kindly, but I think you are overthinking.

If you saw someone preparing to feed (fiddling with bra clasp, adjusting clothes, settling baby in their lap) while you were in a cafe, what would you do? Probably look away, or smile at them then carry on with your day. Everyone else will do the same for you.
It’s not a big deal, anyone with any sense of decorum will look away or at your face not your boobs. And if anyone does catch a glimpse as you latch, well they probably saw something similar when they were a baby.

Pulling a looser top up and then vest top down worked for me, but I also managed with a vest top and then a loose open cardi/kimono thing.

Also, try picking a corner table then facing the wall for the first time, just so you feel a bit less exposed.

I just lift my top up. I'm not self-conscious about it. It's so quick and nobody will be looking. No need to a vest top underneath. Too hot in summer and the baby's body covers your skin.

I just used to think "how many times in my life have I ever noticed a woman breastfeeding". Basically never (until I was breastfeeding and then I'd spot more). People aren't that interested and generally don't notice what others are doing.
I didn't like lifting one top up and pulling another down as I struggled to then see DDs' latches because of the lifted fabric. I used to wear a nursing vest under a button down top, unbutton the top and basically position DD, then unsnap the vest and pull it down when she was already right there. But I also used to say to myself "the worst that will happen is someone sees my nipple for half a second, and I've just decided to not care about that." I didn't bother with a muslin cover.

I liked having the vest top underneath as I was more self-conscious about exposing my belly than a breast.

Try wearing higher-waisted trousers so that your belly is covered more and then you can get baby into position, move your top up so a small amount of boob/nipple is showing, latch and pull your top down to cover your boob. It's a crazy process when written down, but it gets easier, and the funny thing is, people have said to me they didn't even notice I was feeding!

Or just flop the whole thing out like my friend does and fuck the consequences. She really is a superstar and I am honestly in awe!