How can I breastfeed in public discreetly?

[flawless29]

Hello Everyone,

I'm wondering if anyone has any tips on how to discreetly breastfeed in public. I'm still quite nervous about feeding my 4-month-old boy in public. I've tried giving him bottles, but he's honestly very fussy about taking them!

I've managed to breastfeed in public a few times by finding secluded spots, like a bench in the park. However, I'd like to feel comfortable latching my baby on in busier public places, such as restaurants, in front of friends, or at busy soft play centers, rather than feeling like I always have to hide.

Currently, I'm wearing clothes with buttons that I undo from the top, allowing me to breastfeed while covering up with a muslin cloth. But the process of latching isn't very discreet, and if the muslin were to slip, my whole breast would be exposed! While I find this method somewhat easier, I realize the most discreet approach might be to lift my top up and wear a vest top underneath to pull down, so only the necessary part of my breast is exposed.

The clammy, muggy weather doesn't help either, as it's uncomfortable to wear multiple layers of clothing along with a stuffy nursing bra and pads. Do you all feed your babies only in changing rooms or breastfeeding rooms? I'd appreciate any advice, tips, or nursing vest recommendations.

I'm wondering if I'm just being too self-conscious and overthinking this.

I am using a shawl or muslin cloth while breastfeeding him, even when indoors, so that he gets used to it. This is because there have been a couple of instances when he tried to remove the cover. Frankly, I am not too embarrassed about feeding him in public. I just want to gain more confidence. My only fear is if he moves and exposes my breast unexpectedly. I believe we will both get used to it. I think the trick of covering him even indoors is helping

I would be surprised if that works long term, as he gets older he will get more and more curious about what is going on around him and most likely actively want to pull the cover away so he can see. I could be wrong as I didn't cover mine but I can say no matter how hungry they were as mine got older they easily got distracted and sometimes popped on and off my breast during a feed to look around (usually resulting in a lovely spray of milk shooting out and a nice wet patch on my top, eldest made his Great grandmother laugh when he did this in her garden leaving me soaked XD ).

A thin snood or a thin scarf where you knit it wherever you need it to over a top with a loose or adjustable neckline.

Loose top, pull it up, once baby is on there's nothing to see. I fed EVEYWHERE. Including busy streets (sitting on a wall), church services, shops, and never flashed anyone. You'll be fine.

I bought one breast feeding top that I wore in places I was less certain of, but I found the easiest was just to wear a loose top and lift to feed. Pretend to be confident and just get on with it.

I fed for 22 months and only had one negative comment in a cafe. I was asked "if I was going to do that here?" I replied yes and just got on with it. Another customer said "good for you".

Vest and a baggy top over it you can lift up, tbh though, I’ve been bf on and off 5 years and I’ve never had any looks or comments. Be confident, no one is looking, and if they do, that’s their problem, not yours.

sctually I have had 1 comment, cute old lady came up to me and said she fed all her babies, and that she had half a Guinness every night to keep her iron up and that I should too 🤣

I've breastfed 3 babies and I breastfeed anywhere and everywhere. Please don't use a muslin cloth, you don't need to hide your baby feeding and it often annoys them.
I don't like getting my boobs out either so I always always lift my top, never button down shirts or dresses which expose me too much.
If you lift the top noone can see anything and the baby's body covers your stomach.

I usually use the one up one down method, but when it’s so sticky and hot I have a couple of breastfeeding tops so that I only need one layer. I also have some lovely breastfeeding dresses from Juno Jacks.

My baby is 7 months and won't feed under any kind of cover. She's also really nosy now so likes to gawp about during feeding leaving my boob hanging out 😂. We've started weaning now though so she doesn't feed as much in public and will be entertained with food if we go out for a meal.

After a while I gave up on special bras with clips and just used those very stretchy brallet yoga bra thingies. Much quicker to get the boob out and away again. Loose top up, boob out and baby on. Once they've learned to latch effectively.

Like you, I was very shy and nervous at first, but later on I was feeding everywhere. I fed two long term. Once my daughter was complimented on being 'so good'* on a long uncomfortable bus journey. She was clamped to my nipple. When I pointed this out to the girl who had spoken she was surprised, she hadn't noticed.

Whilst not wanting to disparage anything you do that makes breastfeeding possible for you, you might find that a muslin or drape is not workable long term. Not all babies like being covered when feeding and a baby trying to pull it off and you trying to keep it in place would make you far more noticeable.

• *There is no such thing as a 'good' baby. They don't have the emotional capacity. Some babies have habits and traits that makes them more or less convenient for their carers.

Another vote for finding a quiet corner table at the back of a cafe and facing away from the room. Lifting your top up is less exposing than pulling down. Keep going - it's one of those things that gets easier with practice.

I always did one up one down and with babies head in the way you really can’t see anything. To build your confidence it can be useful to practice in front of a mirror at home and then you can see how little there is on show.

If you are wearing something buttoned or that you pull down, tuck the muslin under your bra strap so it won’t slip off

For the warmer weather, a dress (buttoned or at least stretchy enough to be pulled down) + a stretchy crop top/sleep bra is a great combo. Pull dress down / to the side and crop top up. The vest underneath a top is great but not in the summer in my experience - it gets too hot!

Don't be discreet do it openly and proudly! It helps normalise BFeeding and encourages other mums / mum's to be. I understand being a bit self conscious, I was at first too, especially as was using nipple shields as well so there was quite a bit of faffing and worried people might think they were weird. But I met a NCT friend one day who without a second thought whipped out a nipple shield and fed her baby in front of us, and it made me realise there was nothing to be embarrassed about :-) Do you know many other BFeeding mums, that could help too x

But think about it a bit - if he does move and expose your boob, what's the worst that will happen? A couple of people who might accidentally be looking your way at that moment might see a nipple flash? Most of them will be strangers who you'll never see again, and most will be at least as embarrassed as you and not want to make a fuss.

Places like soft play are great for "practising" if you feel you need to, because they're child-friendly by definition and there will almost certainly be other mothers breastfeeding there. And cafes are usually very used to it.

I had no issues feeding in public - I don't care what strangers think. Found it more awkward around old friends who didn't have kids, but even then you get used to it!

Whack it out camp. My husband made sure I did as well. My babys need to be fed is more than someone's stupid ideas on breastfeeding in public. Ie who is more vulnerable here?

Those cover things look very odd and draw far more attention than just cracking on. As for turning to face the wall like you're in The Blair Witch Project, that's just utterly bizarre.

Loose shirt over a bf vest that unhooked, or the dresses from jojo etc thathad gaps to bf.

The more you faff about with capes etc trying to hide the more noticeable it is.

At 4 months they aren't feeding constantly any more and they don't take long, its only every 2-3 hours and all of ten mins. I found it was more an issue of baby getting more distracted in stimulating places so used to just feed before heading out or feed before i got out of the car etc.

Honestly though i never really felt like anyone really noticed, its not terribly exciting and if you have a muslin on your shoulder its easy to nudge it down as you delatch for a bit of cover.

As others said a vest top with a shirt or loose cardigan. I also used to have a large scarf with me . The muslin cloth she used to pull down and it became her comforter! So a light large cotton scarf was a lot easier. I’m quite a nervous person who thought it was going to be alot harder - but once feeding established it all went ok and I didn’t worry as I realised no- one overly noticed or was bothered!