How can I breastfeed in public discreetly?

[flawless29]

Hello Everyone,

I'm wondering if anyone has any tips on how to discreetly breastfeed in public. I'm still quite nervous about feeding my 4-month-old boy in public. I've tried giving him bottles, but he's honestly very fussy about taking them!

I've managed to breastfeed in public a few times by finding secluded spots, like a bench in the park. However, I'd like to feel comfortable latching my baby on in busier public places, such as restaurants, in front of friends, or at busy soft play centers, rather than feeling like I always have to hide.

Currently, I'm wearing clothes with buttons that I undo from the top, allowing me to breastfeed while covering up with a muslin cloth. But the process of latching isn't very discreet, and if the muslin were to slip, my whole breast would be exposed! While I find this method somewhat easier, I realize the most discreet approach might be to lift my top up and wear a vest top underneath to pull down, so only the necessary part of my breast is exposed.

The clammy, muggy weather doesn't help either, as it's uncomfortable to wear multiple layers of clothing along with a stuffy nursing bra and pads. Do you all feed your babies only in changing rooms or breastfeeding rooms? I'd appreciate any advice, tips, or nursing vest recommendations.

I'm wondering if I'm just being too self-conscious and overthinking this.

I used the B Shirts too...found them very practical for breastfeeding. I used their bras too

I used a shawl.

Wear a loose top that you can lift up, I would also often have a light shawl type cloth that I would drape over the baby. People only saw his head , and I found most people didn't even look.

I would do breastfeeding vest top with tshirt over so up and down. Then muslin to cover over. I had to use nipple shields and these are a faff to put on but with practice I could do discreetly

This!!! So much this. I’d rather sit there with my boobs actually on display (not breastfeeding - just chilling haha) than my stomach exposed.

I’ve been BF in public now for 6.5 yrs. 2 babies and fist until 3, second is now 3.5.
I would just do it, trying to cover up is tricky, when they’re older they start to fiddle and play with the cover and get distracted.
I have never had anyone approach to say anything other than “you’re doing brilliant”.

I usually have either a bf tshirt with the boob flap, one up one down a layered top, or just have a button down dress. And I just unapologetically do the thing my breast were made to do.

Can you build up some confidence by going to Bf meets somewhere?

Being a mum is hard enough without making it harder for yourself by trying to hide yourself or using bottles when you don’t need to.

I 100% avoid BF rooms because they are often windowless, stuffy and smelly - especially if there’s changing facilities in there.
Experiment in your local cafes because some will be much more helpful than others and some will happily bring you a drink to the table if you’re busy.
If I see a mum Bf a baby in a cafe now, and I notice they don’t have a drink or it’s run out, I ask if they’d like a refill or something buying - mainly because I think it’s a nice way to show support of BF without directly commenting on it.

I used to be very self conscious with my first, who I breastfed for 6 months. I used to just express and give her the bottle but with my second I've not been bothered! I usually wear a loose top and just lift it up, my bottoms are usually high waisted tho so that helps cover my tummy. The strappy breastfeeding vests are so awkward and do attract attention. Honestly, I wouldn't worry too much about it. What you're doing is completely natural and I really don't think anyone is going to judge you for feeding your baby! It's only because men have sexualised breasts that we have these worries. Just relax and enjoy feeding your baby, who cares what anyone thinks!!

I lifted my top up, baby covers your belly. If your back / side feels exposed, you could add an open shirt (worn like a cardigan) while you're feeding.

I'm currently bf my 4th and I honestly do not care at this point while I don't sit with my boob out for the sheer fun of it I don't make a point of hiding it either. More you do it the comfortable you become. I've never had any bad comments. And little old ladies always makes positive comments about it.

With my firstborn, I wore a nursing vest under normal clothes, but it was winter so it didn't matter and layers were welcome.

This time, baby 11w now, I live in breastfeeding tops from Amazon brand called 'Small Show' and they are really discreet! They don't lift up, they have extra fabric and a vertical opening on each side, I much prefer them! They're loose too so easy to hide the mum tum too 🙌

Practise BF your baby in front of a mirror so you can see what other people would see and that might help your confidence too

I have lots and they're great!

Go out with a really extrovert friend who's much more outrageous than a flash of your boob

Take a cute dog with you that people will want to talk to instead of you

Dye your hair in fluorescent stripes so people look at that

Wear a hat with an offensive slogan - this is down to what you can stomach but you might like anything from "Make America Great Again" to "my other child was fathered by Boris". Muse has some nice "we are fucking fucked" merchandise at the moment which should work as a distraction.

Based on a recent thread - wear sandals without painted toes. Seemingly if you did that it would be more horrifying than getting both baps out and twirling them while shouting "dinnertime for baby!"

Spoiler alert: I did none of the above. One up one down is the way IMO. And congratulations on your baby and feeding journey ☺️

Try smallshow /nursing tops on amazon until you build confidence - then one up/one down works well if it isn't too hot.
Try "can I breastfeed in it" on f. B for example outfits.

This is what I always did, after reading this tip many times on mumsnet while pregnant.

Honestly though, the more you do it the less self conscious you feel until eventually you barely give it a second thought.

I breastfed 3 children for over a decade in total and apart from bras I never wore any bf specific clothing after the first couple of months with DC1. I just wore fairly loose tops so that I could unclip the bra cup via the neckline and then lift the bottom of my top up and latch baby on. Yes, with a new baby there's quite a bit of faffing about and it can take a few goes to get a successful latch but as baby gets bigger and you get more practice it takes seconds and most people don't even notice.
In my opinion bf specific clothing and especially nursing covers are fiddly and actually attract more attention than just wearing normal clothes and getting on with it with confidence. Practice in front ofva mirror and you'll probably be reassured by how little anyone else can see.
In over a decade I had one negative comment, and I bf my children more or less anywhere. Obviously people do have genuinely bad experiences but it's not that common. (And nobody can legally ask you to stop or leavea public place where you are entitled to be with your baby anyway.) Bad experiences get a disproportionate amount of media coverage, because of course "I breastfed my baby in Tesco and nobody even noticed, or if they did they didn't care" won't sell many papers/get a lot of clicks. So it's easy to get rather a skewed impression of how careful you need to be about bf in public, and that can worry new mums. Plus of course nobody makes any money out of breastfeeding if they can't sell us special clothes and equipment...
In reality, once you have got the hang of it you don't need anything special. Most people are busy enough with their own lives and barely notice what others are doing anyway, but they are far more likely to notice and object to a noisy, hungry baby than one who is quickly latched on, even if there is a bit of Mum's breast visible for a couple of seconds in the process.

@Tippexy I am puzzled by your comment. It's unfair to question someone who is simply seeking some advice.

Find a chair in a restaurant/cafe where you can sit with your back to most people and then just crack on.

Honestly most people won't notice and won't care.

You could try practising in front of a mirror. Then you will realise how little can actually be seen.

I use a breastfeeding cover because I'm more concerned about not showing any of my breast than I am about whether people notice I'm breastfeeding.

Special breast feeding tops or dresses offer the most coverage without the cover, and are less noticeable.

Of course there's no need to ever be embarrassed about breastfeeding in public and women shouldn't be required to cover up. I just prefer to :)

I also used a fabric sling, and the straps could be fanned out over DS’s head to hide most of my torso.

I remember feeding him on the tube, and some perv opposite was clearly trying to get a look - I was quite happy there was nothing at all on show.

I’m in the “whack it out” camp. Muslins and discretion are faffy when trying to get baby to latch. I don’t think people notice tbh.

I started out with the top up, strappy top underneath down and felt happy enough with that to walk around the supermarket feeding, feed at a nice restaurant... Anywhere at all! 1 family member was persistently embarrassed by it, but it was his problem, not mine. Never used a cover. By the end I cared even less, maxi dress in the summer pulled down, shirt unbuttoned. But I was never happy to have a top pulled up without a vest top underneath... Apparently I'm less self conscious about my boobs than my tummy!

BF in front of a mirror at home and you might be surprised at how little anyone can see

I used nursing tops and nursing bras, meant I could just pull my boob out and unclip the bra whenever I needed too and felt somewhat covered barring the breast itself. But I never covered up my breast or used cloths or anything. I fed both my babies without caring what anyone else felt/thought. I never noticed anyone giving any disapproving looks and rarely got any comments, the comments I did get were only ever positive. For example I remember waiting with my eldest when he was maybe 6 or 7 months old in a Wilko cafe and he got hungry while we waited, so I pulled my boob out and fed him, afterwards as a older lady was leaving she stopped to say how lovely it was to see me putting his needs first and feeding him in public.

I wouldn’t faff about with anything just wear a top or t shirt you can lift up. Baby will cover your tummy when

That’s what I did. Wore a boob tube underneath up to my bra and a looser top so my tummy wasn’t exposed. I have large boobs and I was too self conscious to just get my boob out over the top of my T shirt. This way I felt I was covered enough to feel comfortable.