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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend didn’t go to event I paid for?

68 replies

Wastedticket · 02/07/2023 22:20

Paid half towards a ticket for a friend birthday present so she could go to an event she’d wanting to go to. Another Friend organised this and I said fab but can’t afford to go myself.

Friend gave her it.

Its not been mentioned or even thanks for. I don’t think they even went even though organising friend said they did.

However no mention of it, zero social media posts (I’d expect to see some tbh).

Been ages now. It’s really irritated me.

Would you ask her outright if she enjoyed it. Seen her loads since!

OP posts:
Mela155 · 02/07/2023 22:22

Yeh definitely just ask. "ohh, I never asked about X event, how was it?"

Puzzledanddissatisfied · 02/07/2023 22:22

Why wouldn’t you just ask?

Batalax · 02/07/2023 22:23

I can’t understand why you’ve not asked before.

OwlBabiesAreCute · 02/07/2023 22:24

Maybe she messaged your other friend privately to say thank you?

Vanillalime · 02/07/2023 22:25

If you haven’t received any thanks for paying for half the ticket, I’m wondering if your friend knows you contributed? Did you other friend maybe not mention it was a joint gift from both of you?

I wouldn’t be bothered if she decided not to attend the event, but I think it’s a bit rude not to thank you for paying for half.

Yellowsubmarineunderthesea · 02/07/2023 22:26

Would the friend who's birthday it was think that the friend who organised it paid for the ticket, and that's why she hasn't mentioned it to you?

Chowtime · 02/07/2023 22:26

Maybe your friend who booked it took all the credit for it - happened to me once.

ShirleyPhallus · 02/07/2023 22:27

I feel like half the problems on mn would just be solved with a straight forward conversation

veryfluffyfluff · 02/07/2023 22:28

Friend gave her it. are you sure?

Wastedticket · 02/07/2023 22:30

I don’t think other friend took the credit.

In fact a few weeks after the event I said oh did you go to x event. Yep we did. Something in the response told me it was a lie.
I think they didn’t go because they were over committed and too tired too. Friend has form for this. Annoying though as it was more than I’d normally spend on a gift.

OP posts:
Gymmum82 · 02/07/2023 22:32

‘Oohhh did you go to x event. How was it? Got any pics?’
see what she says

CurlyhairedAssassin · 02/07/2023 22:32

ShirleyPhallus · 02/07/2023 22:27

I feel like half the problems on mn would just be solved with a straight forward conversation

😄Quite.

Wastedticket · 02/07/2023 22:34

ShirleyPhallus · 02/07/2023 22:27

I feel like half the problems on mn would just be solved with a straight forward conversation

True but it was ages ago and weird to suddenly bring it up now.

OP posts:
DowntonCrabby · 02/07/2023 22:37

Do they maybe feel awkward as you couldn’t go with them? In similar circumstances I certainly wouldn’t plaster pics all over SM. The no thanks is weird, and rude though.

Wastedticket · 02/07/2023 22:42

No plenty of things I’ve not gone to with them -either difference tastes, other commitments or lack of money. I’d not have been jealous. In fact I’d have been thrilled to have seen them both having a good time.

We are quite a chilled friendship group.

I think it’s the rudeness of no thanks that has annoyed me. The wasted money too is irritating.

OP posts:
Zonder · 02/07/2023 22:48

It's not too late to ask.

Andrea87 · 02/07/2023 22:54

If it was a music event you could say - Oh I heard … on the radio and it reminded me that you went to see them - how was it?

elenacampana · 02/07/2023 22:57

Wastedticket · 02/07/2023 22:30

I don’t think other friend took the credit.

In fact a few weeks after the event I said oh did you go to x event. Yep we did. Something in the response told me it was a lie.
I think they didn’t go because they were over committed and too tired too. Friend has form for this. Annoying though as it was more than I’d normally spend on a gift.

Why did you start this thread? She’s told you she went. Doesn’t matter that she didn’t post it online, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen if it’s not on FB!

DinkeyDonkey · 02/07/2023 23:00

I don't fully understand the OP but if you want to know if they used your gift then ask. Agree rude not to say thanks.

Wastedticket · 02/07/2023 23:05

No the other friend said they went when I asked.

I sensed a lie.

OP posts:
IcedBananas · 02/07/2023 23:19

Just ask the bday person how it was. ‘Oh I saw an ad for x y z the other day. Im so glad I got you that ticket, was it as awesome as it looked?’

be sure to mention that you got her the ticket as she may not know and will be confused why you are asking again about it!

Wastedticket · 02/07/2023 23:20

IcedBananas · 02/07/2023 23:19

Just ask the bday person how it was. ‘Oh I saw an ad for x y z the other day. Im so glad I got you that ticket, was it as awesome as it looked?’

be sure to mention that you got her the ticket as she may not know and will be confused why you are asking again about it!

this is good idea

OP posts:
Katbum · 02/07/2023 23:22

It’s obviously bothering you, what you need to figure out is why. If it’s because this person has a pattern of behaviour you don’t enjoy it might be worth raising it and just saying ‘I was quite hurt you didn’t thank me for your gift of the event ticket. Did you go?’ I really would not lose sleep over this though - I very very rarely post social media pictures of things I attend because mostly I think it’s boring for other people, and sometimes I just do stuff for myself.

Thack · 02/07/2023 23:26

As part of talking about it, could you ask if they took any photos? Be interested in what it was like there, maybe you're thinking of saving up to go next year- whatever makes sense to ask to see some proof she went.

Summerfun54321 · 03/07/2023 00:15

I've bought tickets for events a few times for gifts. Unless it's a voucher for something they can use when convenient, there's always a risk they don't end up going. I stopped doing it for that reason, it feels like a waste of money.

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