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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheeky SIL

97 replies

MotherofboysUk · 02/07/2023 14:49

AIBU ? So my DH’s young brother and wife are in town for a week and they are staying with us and I’m slowly loosing it . I’m 34 SIL is 25 and she has zero respect for me . She wakes up at 1100 and does not clean up after herself and expects me to make her breakfast and do her dishes . Also they have been fighting constantly since arrival with her hubby over petty issues . I have a 13 month old and last night they had the tv on full blast . Its so annoying and i really want them to leave . How do i live for the next coming 6 days with peace within my home any advice ?!

OP posts:
TeddySunflowers · 02/07/2023 14:52

Why do you make her breakfast and clean her dishes and why didn't you tell them to turn the TV down?

whowhatwerewhy · 02/07/2023 14:52

Just tell them " please turn the TV down " " oh sorry I've already done breakfast please help yourself, kitchen cleaner is here the dishwasher is there "

WonderfulUsername · 02/07/2023 14:53

What does your BIL do about his breakfast?

I'd tell her to just do that.

Notimeforaname · 02/07/2023 14:56

Well ..you simply tell them where the food is and to make it themselves and not to have the telly too loud because you have a baby ams also of they need to clean uo after themselves.
These are ok things that you can but it should really come from your husband since it's his brother- unless he sees no problem with it at all? In that case you'll have to say it.

You can also tell them that if they are going to keep arguing they will have to leave.
You must be assertive or just accept that it will be like this til they leave
. It's your home and you set the house rules.

NyanBinaryJohn · 02/07/2023 14:58

Just say no, you are not her slave. She's welcome to help herself provided she cleans up after herself and respects your home.

If she doesn't want to do that you and your DH need to put up a united front and tell them to leave.

GoodChat · 02/07/2023 15:00

Tell her where the breakfast things are. Ask why she hasn't washed her bowl up. Tell them to turn the tv down.

Luxell934 · 02/07/2023 15:00

So your BIL makes his own breakfast then?

Fraaahnces · 02/07/2023 15:01

Oh ffs, tell her your house isn’t a hotel. Tell her to clean her shit up and turn the tv off.

towriteyoumustlive · 02/07/2023 15:02

If she asks for breakfast, point her in the direction of the cereal cupboard.

If she doesn't clear up, ask if she wouldn't mind washing her stuff up.

If the TV is too loud, ask if she wouldn't mind turning it down.

People live in different ways, so if your lifestyles clash then as it's your home, you just need to be a little more assertive in letting them know what is and isn't acceptable.

Lacucuracha · 02/07/2023 15:04

Stop doing anything for them!

And never allow them to stay again.

Petrarkanian · 02/07/2023 15:07

Do what my Auntie Sue did when she'd had enough of us watching TV. Stormed in with some scissors unplugged the TV and cut the plug off. Go on I dare you

Justmuddlingalong · 02/07/2023 15:10

Where's DH while all this is going on, what does he suggest HE does about it?

billy1966 · 02/07/2023 15:11

Why are you tolerating this?

Have some respect for yourself.

Stop doing ANYTHING for them.

Tell your husband to sort it.

Take the remote with you.

Stop being polite.

People will treat you as poorly as you allow.

Be really noisy in the morning and encourage your baby to make a racket.

Never have them to stay again.

Easy.

littleripper · 02/07/2023 15:11

Why on earth are you putting up with it? where is your DH?

OhComeOnFFS · 02/07/2023 15:13

Find the fuse box and switch off the power if the TV's too loud.

Personally I'd tell them to go back to their own place, though.

IncognitoMam · 02/07/2023 15:18

Aww poor sil and her DH. They're only young.
Have you NC OP?

😉

PrueRamsay · 02/07/2023 15:18

littleripper · 02/07/2023 15:11

Why on earth are you putting up with it? where is your DH?

This!!!!

BrendaMcPherson · 02/07/2023 15:19

Petrarkanian · 02/07/2023 15:07

Do what my Auntie Sue did when she'd had enough of us watching TV. Stormed in with some scissors unplugged the TV and cut the plug off. Go on I dare you

Auntie Sue is my new hero.

IhearyouClemFandango · 02/07/2023 15:19

Has her husband been the same?

tonystarksrighthand · 02/07/2023 15:19

I love Auntie Sue

GoodChat · 02/07/2023 15:20

OhComeOnFFS · 02/07/2023 15:13

Find the fuse box and switch off the power if the TV's too loud.

Personally I'd tell them to go back to their own place, though.

Why would you do that when you could just... speak to them?

HirplesWithHaggis · 02/07/2023 15:23

Petrarkanian · 02/07/2023 15:07

Do what my Auntie Sue did when she'd had enough of us watching TV. Stormed in with some scissors unplugged the TV and cut the plug off. Go on I dare you

It was easy to put the plug back on, in The Olden Days (when I were a lad). Now, they're welded on and you can't open the plug.

Bridgingthefeckingmassivegap · 02/07/2023 15:24

Probably in the minority here...but I wouldn't just help myself and make meals in someone else's house when staying there on hols! Most family members host for one of the days then point out cereal or whatever for following days. (Obviously it's different when staying in my childhood home with my DM). Likewise I do the same when we have people over, usually have a few options in etc.

If you haven't specifically said to help yourself, is she actually expecting you to do all this or are you just doing it assuming she's wanting you to?

midsomermurderess · 02/07/2023 15:27

Lay down your expectations as to her behaviour. What else do you think you should do? Where does this helplessness come from? How do people get through life being so, well, bovine?

jellyminelli · 02/07/2023 15:29

What's the 9 year age gap got to do with it?

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