Sleep for me v OH

[Tiredohsotiredandabitmoretired]

Name changed as linking to my other posts would be very identifying.

We have a LARGE family. OH works nights and I'm a SAHM. I do every single night waking always have, 95% of the housework and admin. I average about 4 hrs sleep per night. OH on the otherhand averages around 10 hrs (often more) when he gets up everything is always done I.e dinner,cleaning etc and a coffee is always waiting for him

I expressed my tiredness and he said when I come in tomorrow morning I will stay up with the kids so you can sleep! (I usually get up at 6.30 we have an autistic DS who is like clockwork)

So this morning I was to have a lie in DS (6months) didn't settle until 1.30am and woke for a feed at 4.50 am which OH was aware. And he woke me up at 7.45!!!!!!!!!!

We didn't argue but I told him that 7.45 is bullshit and he may aswell not have bothered. No coffee and a sink full of his crap from work.

AIBU because technically he did stay up with the little ones for a while (he usually goes straight to bed) but I still got at most 6 hours sleep and he's off to bed at 8 where he will stay until 17.30 at which point he will get up and do nothing except bath the 5 Yr old ... and then off to work again....

He is taking the piss... he can get up at 3pm and actually partake in family life... hoover, iron... wash floors, cook... and he will still be getting more sleep than you!

@Bonbon21 thanks, I know he is really but he was so shocked when I said it was bullshit to wake me at 7.45 I began to question it. He would have expected me to be soooooo grateful.

I wouldn’t be rushing to the mailbox to look for my medal if I were him…

He's a dick. He also needs a more family friendly job.

I might have murdered him

@HalloweenOnChristmas the job actually works fir us really and he's not all bad, on school days he will come home from work and sleep 5.30 till 8 while I get everyone up and ready and he will get upnand do the school runs before coming home and going back to skeep

@OnlyFannys 🤣🤣🤣 I felt like it!

No, being not all bad would be actually doing his share in the morning

You aren’t being unreasonable, but you need to lay down a structure.

He doesn’t need to sleep for 10 hours so he does a couple hours family time before work so you get a decent nights sleep. I. That time he can look after the kids and clean up whatever work stuff he leaves in the sink

He does one night at the weekend

and if it’s what you both want - one of your holds the fought so the other can have half a day off at the weekend - alternate weekends maybe.