It was the only thing that ever got me to do the same amount of work as everybody else, to the best of my ability. Either you make considerable effort to wake my Panic Monster or the Monkey of Procrastination & Instant Gratification WILL NOT LET GO OF THE WHEEL.
I spent the entire summer of 1980 in the library, every single day bar the weekend, when I was colouring in and writing up, thanks to a project of 45 sodding topics about Oz.
However I came top of the class (I’m average, very average), won the annual geography prize at the end of the year for a project graded in September and still know lots of random facts about Australia. Had I been paying attention when the instructions were given I’d have known we were only required to pick a minimum of ten of the forty five topics. But I wasn’t, so I didn’t. I thought it was an outrageous amount of work, but didn’t want to risk bad marks, or God help me, a bad conduct mark, by not completing it.
That was only summer on record when I didn’t end up in massive trouble for accidentally cycling (on a tandem bike, with me deciding directions, which i retrospect was an error on my friend’s part) to Reading on an A road, or doing myself an injury with tool cos I got a sudden fancy to “make something”. Or ruin my siblings’ summer by forcing them to sit in front of my blackboard while I played teacher.
I know the 70s and 80s were far from perfect. I was there. I got the Bad Conduct marks and one House Prefect a little drunk on power to prove it. But thank god I didn’t spend my entire education subjected some of the lowered expectations proffered to kids today. My mother would have turned into an activist, waggled me all over the place like a prized guinea pig and demanded nobody expecting a damn thing of me, with allowances made left, right and centre. I’d have loved it. At the time.
But I know everything I would have lost had that kind of temptation been dangled in front of me. I know the life I’ve built, despite my toolbox being different from most people’s, was worth all the stretching and jumping to reach expectations. They seemed much harder for me to reach than a lot of other people. Probably genuinely were. Still so fucking grateful I got to even try.